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Let these funny Matters Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
What lies behind us and what lies before us
are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
It is dangerous to be right in matters
on which the established authorities are wrong.
- Voltaire
In all matters of opinion,
our adversaries are insane.
- Oscar Wilde
It's not what happens to you,
but how you react to it that matters.
- Epictetus
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Saying goodbye doesn't mean anything.
It's the time we spent together that matters,
not how we left it.
- Trey Parker
It doesn't matter who my father was.
It matters who I remember he was.
- Anne Sexton
To love what you do and feel that it matters,
how on earth could anything be more fun.
- Katherine Graham
In matters of conscience,
the law of the majority has no place.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
It's not what you look at that matters,
it's what you see.
- Henry David Thoreau
In matters of truth and justice,
there is no difference between large and small problems,
for issues concerning the treatment of people are all the same.
- Albert Einstein
It is not living that matters, but living rightly.
- Socrates
Anyone who doesn't take truth seriously in small matters
cannot be trusted in large ones either.
- Albert Einstein
Whoever is careless with the truth in small matters
cannot be trusted with important matters.
- Albert Einstein
Sometimes you get the results you wanted,
sometimes you don't.
What matters is that you did your best.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Everything deep is also simple
and can be reproduced simply
as long as its reference
to the whole truth is maintained.
But what matters is not what is witty
but what is true.
- Albert Schweitzer
It is the journey that matters, in the end
- Ursula K. Le Guin
How different our lives are when we
really know what is deeply important to us,
and keeping that picture in mind,
we manage ourselves each day
to be and to do what really matters most
- Stephen Covey
In matters of style, swim with the current;
in matters of principle, stand like a rock.
- Thomas Jefferson
It is good to have an end to journey towards;
but it is the journey that matters in the end.
- Ursula K. Le Guin
It is not the magnitude of our actions
but the amount of love
that is put into them that matters.
- Mother Teresa
From one point of view, one individual's vote
doesn't make any difference whatsoever.
The probability of an election swinging
by a single vote is infinitesimal.
On the other hand, if everybody took the attitude
that voting didn't matter, there could never
be a democratically elected government - at all.
So, does your vote matter? You bet your vote matters.
And, at least as much as your vote matters,
your intention for the future of the world matters.
That's so important, it's worth saying again.
At Least As Much As Your Vote Matters,
Your Intention For The Future Of The Entire World Matters.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
It's YOUR time - it's YOUR life -
YOU get to choose how you use it. T
here is no way that your life is "supposed" to be.
Your parents had their vision for your life.
Your boss, your spouse, your church, your friends,
and even the family next door have their ideas
of how you should live your life.
What about YOUR vision for your life?
What do YOU want?
YES, it matters what you want.
YES you can have what you want.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Before you can forgive others,
you must be a person whose forgiveness matters.
Before you can have gratitude for your life,
you must believe that your life has value.
Before your choices have value,
you must feel that you yourself have value.
Before you can dream a great dream for your future,
you have to believe that your future matters.
Before you can build positive habits of resolve and commitment,
before you can begin to live into the Japanese proverb,
"Fall seven times, stand up eight,"
you must believe that your life matters.
Before you can celebrate your life, you must Honor it.
And, before you can feel unity with,
and Honor toward, Spirit and all creation,
you must Honor yourself to feel worthy of that unity.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I am prepared to meet my Maker.
Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal
of meeting me is another matter.
- Winston Churchill
And you just gotta remember, Sparky -
no matter what they tell you - you can NEVER have too much sugar.
- the movie Michael (1996)
No matter how much cats fight,
there always seem to be plenty of kittens.
- Abraham Lincoln
The most important service rendered
by the press and the magazines
is that of educating people
to approach printed matter with distrust.
- Samuel Butler
Boys will be boys. And even that wouldn't matter
if only we could prevent girls from being girls.
- Anne Frank
Some things will never seem adequate
no matter how hard we try.
- from the movie White Man's Burden
Choose what lies in the shadows to be a matter
for discovery and adventure, rather than fear.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The way I see it, it doesn't matter what you believe,
just so you're sincere.
- Linus Van Pelt in Charles M. Schulz' Go Fly A Kite, Charlie Brown
Our lives begin to end the day we become silent
about things that matter.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
Distance cannot matter - ours is a friendship of the heart.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
It is the friends you can call up at 4 A.M. that matter.
- Marlene Dietrich
Believe nothing, no matter where you read it,
or who said it, no matter if I have said it,
unless it agrees with your own reason
and your own common sense.
- The Buddha
It doesn't matter how long my hair is
or what color my skin is
or whether I'm a woman or a man.
- John Lennon
No matter how dull, or how mean, or how wise a man is,
he feels that happiness is his indisputable right.
- Helen Keller
People will do anything, no matter how absurd,
to avoid facing their own souls.
- Carl Jung
Every form of addiction is bad,
no matter whether the narcotic
be alcohol or morphine or idealism.
- Carl Jung
Everything we believe is a matter of evolution and history.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
No matter what happens, someone will find a way
to take it too seriously.
- Dave Barry
Naturally, the common people don't want war ...
but after all it is the leaders of a country who determine the policy,
and it is always a simple matter to drag the people along,
whether it is a democracy, or a fascist dictatorship,
or a parliament, or a communist dictatorship.
Voice or no voice, the people can always be brought
to the bidding of the leaders.
That is easy. All you have to do is tell them
they are being attacked,
and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism
and exposing the country to danger.
It works the same in every country.
- Hermann Goering
Okay, so it's a matter of life and death - now are you happy?
Urgency is never a path to joy.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Unexpected events can set you back or set you up.
It's all a matter of - perspective.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
At the end of a matter ask,
"What will I learn from this to make me better?"
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Success seems to be largely a matter
of hanging on after others have let go.
- William Feather
Destiny is not a matter of chance,
It is a matter of choice.
It is not something to be waited for,
But rather something to be achieved.
- William Jennings Bryan
Whatever your work and whatever its worth,
No matter how strong or clever,
Some one will sneer if you pause to hear,
And scoff at your best endeavor.
For the target art has a broad expanse,
And wherever you chance to hit it,
Though close be your aim to the bull's-eye fame,
There are those who will never admit it.
- Ella Wheeler Wilcox
No face which we can give to a matter
will stead us so well at last as the truth.
This alone wears well.
- Henry David Thoreau
Most unhappiness comes from resisting life.
Occasionally, you have such a strong commitment
to changing the world order that it is worth
struggling against the flow of life.
But don't live your life as if each minor happening
were a matter of life and death.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Let me say this as clearly as I can:
No matter how sharp a grievance or how deep a hurt,
there is no justification for killing innocents.
- William J. Clinton
Confidence is the most important single factor in this game,
and no matter how great your natural talent,
there is only one way to obtain and sustain it: work.
- Jack Nicklaus
It is amazing how much you can accomplish
when it doesn't matter who gets the credit.
- Anonymous
I constantly seek excellence
in all domains that truly matter to me.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
It is one thing to say that something should be done,
but quite a different matter to do it.
- Aesop
In choosing joy, the finish line dissolves
into a different matter altogether.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Dreams are renewable no matter what our age.
- Dale Turner
Often it does not matter so much what we choose,
but that we do choose.
- Alan Cohen
Religion is a matter of the heart.
No physical inconvenience can warrant
abandonment of one's own religion.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
The truth of the matter is that
you always know the right thing to do.
The hard part is doing it.
- Norman Schwarzkoff
Love is not a matter of counting the years,
but making the years count.
- Michele St. Amand
Wherever you go, no matter what the weather,
always bring your own sunshine.
- Anthony J. D'Angelo
Through humor, you can soften some
of the worst blows that life delivers.
And once you find laughter,
no matter how painful your situation might be,
you can survive it.
- Bill Cosby
The only questions that really matter are the ones you ask yourself.
- Ursula K. Le Guin
True justice is not a matter of courts and law books,
but of a commitment in each of us to liberty and mutual respect.
- Jimmy Carter
Remember, no matter where you go, there you are.
- Confucius
Security is not the absence of danger,
but the presence of God,
no matter what the danger.
- Anonymous
One's own religion is after all
a matter between oneself
and one's Maker and no one else's.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Youth is a quality, not a matter of circumstances.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
You have to do your own growing
no matter how tall your grandfather was.
- Abraham Lincoln
Whenever you choose to carry resentment and hatred,
you are shouldering an immense burden that damages
your happiness, and often your health.
Does it matter that your resentment and hatred are "justified?"
Only you suffer - not the person you resent.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.