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Let these funny Survival Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
In the struggle for survival,
the fittest win out at the expense of their rivals
because they succeed in adapting
themselves best to their environment.
- Charles Darwin
To cherish what remains of the Earth and to foster its renewal
is our only legitimate hope of survival.
- Wendell Berry
We shall draw from the heart of suffering itself
the means of inspiration and survival.
- Winston Churchill
Our pleasures were simple - they included survival.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
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Victory at all costs, victory in spite of all terror,
victory however long and hard the road may be;
for without victory, there is no survival.
- Winston Churchill
Beliefs have evolved based on survival value.
Certain belief systems have been more conducive than others
to people living long enough to reproduce,
and having a high rate of reproduction.
It's that basic.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
For this generation, ours, life is nuclear survival,
liberty is human rights, the pursuit of happiness
is a planet whose resources are devoted
to the physical and spiritual nourishment of its inhabitants.
- Jimmy Carter
Let every nation know, whether it wishes us well or ill,
that we shall pay any price, bear any burden,
meet any hardship, support any friend, oppose any foe
to assure the survival and the success of liberty.
- John F. Kennedy
Authority has every reason to fear the skeptic,
for authority can rarely survive in the face of doubt.
- Robert Lindner
A divorce is like an amputation:
you survive it, but there's less of you.
- Margaret Atwood
Through humor, you can soften some
of the worst blows that life delivers.
And once you find laughter,
no matter how painful your situation might be,
you can survive it.
- Bill Cosby
It is not the strongest of the species that survive,
nor the most intelligent,
but the one most responsive to change.
- Charles Darwin
Love and compassion are necessities, not luxuries.
Without them humanity cannot survive.
- Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama
The meaning of life is not simply to exist, to survive,
but to move ahead, to go up, to achieve, to conquer.
- Arnold Schwarzenegger
If you have a particular faith or religion,
that is good. But you can survive without it.
- Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama
We laugh to survive.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
The ego lives by comparisons...
The ego cannot survive without judgment.
- A Course in Miracles
We can live without religion and meditation,
but we cannot survive without human affection.
- Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama
We shall require a substantially
new manner of thinking
if mankind is to survive.
- Albert Einstein
It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education.
- Albert Einstein
Education is what survives when
what has been learned has been forgotten.
- B. F. Skinner
My heroes are the ones who survived doing it wrong,
who made mistakes, but recovered from them.
- Bono
The creative adult is the child who has survived.
- Ursula K. Le Guin
No one was ever named "Hero" for following the crowd.
Heroes set their own course.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Heroes act in spite of their fear,
while the rest of us act because of our fear.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The common denominator of our heroes
is that each set their own course.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Genuine heroes - no batteries needed -
bring lots of open-mind and at least a little courage.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
True courage is not the brutal force of vulgar heroes,
but the firm resolve of virtue and reason.
- Alfred North Whitehead
A hero may or may not lead other people,
but all heroes lead themselves.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Heroes do what the rest of us would do,
if only we had the courage.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Not all Heroes wear capes.
- On an Apple Inc. "Genius Bar" T-shirt
The world is moved along, not only
by the mighty shoves of its heroes,
but also by the aggregate of tiny pushes
of each honest worker.
- Helen Keller
If you want to be heroic,
Don't emulate your heroes,
learn from them.
Heroes don't follow anyone,
they set their own course.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Use heroes as a springboard for inquiry
into the identity and nature of admirably human qualities.
Do not judge heroes -
neither to put them unquestioningly on a pedestal
nor to unkindly probe their flaws.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer
There's no reason to become alarmed,
and we hope you'll enjoy the rest of your flight.
By the way, is there anyone on board who knows how to fly a plane?
- the movie Airplane!
Marriage has no guarantees.
If that's what you're looking for,
go live with a car battery.
- Erma Bombeck
No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous
No matter how much cats fight,
there always seem to be plenty of kittens.
- Abraham Lincoln
Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life, son.
- the movie National Lampoon's Animal House (1978)
No one can have a higher opinion of you than I have,
and I think you're a slimy, contemptible sewer rat!
- the movie The Great Mouse Detective
One cannot have everything the way he would like it.
A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment,
anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.
- Mark Twain
No one knows what's next, but everybody does it.
- George Carlin
When I eventually met Mr. Right
I had no idea that his first name was Always.
- Rita Rudner
Mr. President, I'm not saying we wouldn't get our hair mussed.
But I do say no more than ten to twenty million killed, tops.
Uh, depending on the breaks.
- the movie Dr. Strangelove
Oh no, I can't do anything to the death.
Doctor's orders. You see, I have this ulcer condition,
and death is the worst thing for it.
- the movie Love and Death
A honeymoon should be like a table:
four bare legs and no drawers.
- Anonymous
I have no fear of the gallows ... They're going to shoot me.
- the movie Love and Death
A man's friendships are, like his will,
invalidated by marriage -
but they are also no less invalidated
by the marriage of his friends.
- Samuel Butler
Television has a real problem. They have no page two.
- Art Buchwald
And you just gotta remember, Sparky -
no matter what they tell you - you can NEVER have too much sugar.
- the movie Michael (1996)
You have no values. With you its all nihilism,
cynicism, sarcasm, and orgasm.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
Do not bite at the bait of pleasure,
till you know there is no hook beneath it.
- Thomas Jefferson
In theory there is no difference between theory and practice.
In practice there is.
- Yogi Berra
An excellent man;
he has no enemies;
and none of his friends like him.
- Oscar Wilde
I begin with the principle that all men are bores.
Surely no one will prove himself
so great a bore as to contradict me in this.
- Soren Kierkegaard
There is no such thing as public opinion.
There is only published opinion.
- Winston Churchill
Early in life I had to choose between honest arrogance
and hypocritical humility.
I chose the former and have seen no reason to change.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
There is no sadder sight than a young pessimist.
- Mark Twain
It has been my experience that folks who
have no vices, have very few virtues.
- Abraham Lincoln
I am no longer young enough to know everything.
- Oscar Wilde
I once had a rose named after me
and I was very flattered.
But I was not pleased to read
the description in the catalogue:
no good in a bed, but fine up against a wall.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
Against logic there is no armor like ignorance.
- Laurence J. Peter
Every one desires to live long,
but no one would be old.
- Abraham Lincoln
The most difficult phase of life
is not when no one understands you,
it is when you don't understand yourself.
- Anonymous
The man who does not read good books
has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
- Mark Twain
The way to silence religious disputes is to take no notice of them.
- Thomas Jefferson
He who loves 50 people has 50 woes;
he who loves no one has no woes.
- The Buddha
No problem is so formidable that
you can't walk away from it.
- Charles M. Schulz' cartoon Peanuts
I find that principles have no real force
except when one is well fed.
- Mark Twain
Faced with the choice between changing one's mind
and proving that there is no need to do so,
almost everyone gets busy on the proof.
- John Kenneth Galbraith
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.