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Funny Promises Quotes
Funny Quotes about Promises

Let these funny Promises Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

Curiosity takes courage.
The most important promises are the ones you make to yourself.
Pay Attention.
Appreciate. Listen. Imagine.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

The promises we makes to ourselves are the things
that assure us we have the capacity to keep our promises to others.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

The man who promises everything, is sure to fulfill nothing,
and everyone who promises too much is in danger of
using evil means in order to carry out his promises,
and is already on the road to perdition.
- Carl Jung

If virtue promises happiness, prosperity and peace,
then progress in virtue is progress in each of these
for to whatever point the perfection of anything brings us,
progress is always an approach toward it.
- Epictetus


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The most important promises are
the ones we make to ourselves.
The promises we makes to ourselves
are the things that assure us
we have the capacity
to keep our promises to others.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

As the evening beckons with the promise of tomorrow...
may your gratitude rise up and with strength answer, "yes."
- Mary Anne Radmacher

One bold inspiration choreographs a dance with promise.
- Mary Anne Radmacher


 

Our Lord has written the promise of the resurrection,
not in books alone, but in every leaf in spring-time.
- Martin Luther

Do what you love, love what you do,
and deliver more than you promise.
- Harvey McKay

I will reflect the finest qualities my friends offer me
and remind them of all the promise I see in them.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

We make sacred pact. I promise teach
karate to you, you promise learn.
I say, you do, no questions.
- Miyagi: character in the movie Karate Kid

Promise me you'll never forget me because if I thought you would, I'd never leave.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

When a man you like switches from what
he said a year ago, or four years ago,
he is a broad-minded person who has courage enough
to change his mind with changing conditions.
When a man you don't like does it,
he is a liar who has broken his promise.
- Franklin Pierce Adams

Most of us believe that we have
been betrayed by someone outside of us -
in other words someone has done something to hurt us,
been dishonest or broken a promise made:
some trust in some concept was broken.
Indeed someone may have taken an action
that took only their needs into consideration,
they may have not followed through on a promise made,
and they may have not told you the truth.
But their actions have nothing to do with you
and have everything to do with them.
That's why no one can do anything TO you.
They can take actions that involve you that you may not like -
according to your point of view.
But you are not a victim, no way, no how.
- Sheri Rosenthal

I just want to do God's will.
And he's allowed me to go to the mountain.
And I've looked over, and I've seen the promised land!
I may not get there with you,
but I want you to know tonight that
we as a people will get to the promised land.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Well, I don't know what will happen now.
We've got some difficult days ahead.
But it doesn't matter with me now.
Because I've been to the mountaintop.
And I don't mind. Like any man,
I would like to live a long life.
Longevity has its place.
But I'm not concerned about that now.
I just want to do God's will.
And He's allowed me to go up to the mountain.
And I've looked over.
And I've seen the promised land.
I may not get there with you.
But I want you to know tonight, that we,
as a people, will get to the promised land.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble.
It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.
- Mark Twain (attributed)

I don't care whose fault this was, just get it sorted!
And could someone please bring me something deep fat fried
and smothered in chocolate.
- the movie Shrek 2

I'd like to kiss ya, but I just washed ma hair.
- the movie The Cabin in the Cotton

Oh, Shrek. Don't worry.
Things just seem bad because it's dark and rainy
and Fiona's father hired a sleazy hitman to whack you.
- the movie Shrek 2

Oh, if only God would give me some sign.
If He would just speak to me once. Anything.
One sentence. Two words. If He would just cough.
- the movie Love and Death

Will the people in the cheaper seats clap your hands?
And the rest of you, if you'll just rattle your jewelry.
- John Lennon

The time-traveling is just too dangerous.
Better that I devote myself to study
the other great mystery of the universe - women!
- the movie Back to the Future II

One great thing about getting old is that
you can get out of all sorts of social obligations
just by saying you're too tired.
- George Carlin

Getting divorced just because you don't love a man
is almost as silly as getting married just because you do.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor

And you just gotta remember, Sparky -
no matter what they tell you - you can NEVER have too much sugar.
- the movie Michael (1996)

A man likes his wife to be
just clever enough to appreciate his cleverness,
and just stupid enough to admire it.
- Israel Zangwill

I have faith. I just need proof to back it up.
- the movie Simon Birch

Just when I discovered the meaning of life, they changed it.
- George Carlin

You can observe a lot by just watching.
- Yogi Berra

I'm just preparing my impromptu remarks.
- Winston Churchill

It's just random chance, baby; get used to it.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

We are all atheists about most of the gods
that societies have ever believed in.
Some of us just go one god further.
- Richard Dawkins

Be smarter than other people, just don't tell them so.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

When life gets you down -
just put on your big girl panties and deal with it.
- Anonymous humor

True believers just don't see things the way they are,
because if they did, they wouldn't be true believers anymore.
- Philip Caputo

Dumbo! C'mon, fly! Open them ears!
The magic feather was just a gag!
You can fly! Honest, you can!
- Timothy Q. Mouse in the movie Dumbo

Life is just one damned thing after another.
- Elbert Hubbard (Philistine - A Periodical of Protest, 1896)

Always remember that you are absolutely unique.
Just like everyone else.
- Margaret Mead

Even if you're on the right track,
you'll get run over if you just sit there.
- Will Rogers

I want a girl just like good old mom,
who is different in every way.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Some days just go to Hell faster than others.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

I was so jazzed about sobering up
and starting a new life;
I had to stop at a bar
to get a drink just to calm down.
- the television series Glee

The way I see it, it doesn't matter what you believe,
just so you're sincere.
- Linus Van Pelt in Charles M. Schulz' Go Fly A Kite, Charlie Brown

I love to shop after a bad relationship.
I don't know. I buy a new outfit
and it makes me feel better. It just does.
Sometimes I see a really great outfit,
I'll break up with someone on purpose.
- Rita Rudner

Just because I don't care,
doesn't mean I don't understand.
- Matt Groening's TV series The Simpsons.

Well excuse me - we've got something
a little unusual going on here -
time travel, parallel universes,
or just a little common ordinary insanity.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

A wedding is just like a funeral
except that you get to smell your own flowers.
- Grace Hansen

"When I use a word," Humpty Dumpty said in rather a scornful tone,
"it means just what I choose it to mean - neither more nor less."
- Lewis Carroll

I tremble for my country when I reflect that God
is just; that his justice cannot sleep forever.
- Thomas Jefferson

Just once in a while, let us exalt
the importance of ideas and information.
- Edward R. Murrow

Sometimes I lie awake at night and ask "Why me?"
Then a voice answers "Nothing personal,
your name just happened to come up. -
- Charlie Brown, in Charles M. Schulz' cartoon Peanuts

Just remember, after they foreclose on your mortgage,
you get a lot more sunshine in your life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Don't underestimate the value of Doing Nothing,
of just going along,
listening to all the things you can't hear,
and not bothering.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

Everyone is a prisoner of his own experiences.
No one can eliminate prejudices -
just recognize them.
- Edward R. Murrow

Capitalism tries for a delicate balance:
It attempts to work things out so that
everyone gets just enough stuff to keep them from
getting violent and trying to take other people's stuff.
- George Carlin

If you can't feed a hundred people, then feed just one.
- Mother Teresa

Apathy, indifference, not caring...
It may sound insensitive for me to say, "I don't care,"
but ask first to what I am indifferent.
I choose to be caring, compassionate
and kind toward all people,
and I also choose to be indifferent to gossip,
petty complaints, and idle chatter.
About those, I just don't care.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The Ought-To Need-To Tango:
I am racked with the guilt and the pain of I should,
and I ought, and I can't, but I must.
I can't rest; I can't sleep; I'm just not understood,
and I hate that the world is unjust.
I have work; I have woes; I have troubles for life;
but I don't have a ME that I trust.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Everything is a miracle,
not just the beautiful and lovely things.
- Anonymous

Know the power and the peace of saying,
"I love you just the way you are."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

A friend is someone who knows all about you,
and loves you just the same.
- Elbert Hubbard

"Just living is not enough," said the butterfly,
"one must have sunshine, freedom and a little flower."
- Hans Christian Andersen

I contend that we are both atheists.
I just believe in one fewer god than you do.
When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible gods,
you will understand why I dismiss yours.
- Stephen Roberts

Just when the caterpillar thought
the world was over, it became a butterfly.
- Anonymous

Is today a day to gather strength from the storm -
a day to to learn life lessons for the next battle?
Or is today a day to sit by the fire
and watch the storm rage outside?
Either way, the storm is just life.
Give thanks for all of Life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The magic words for a great relationship are,
"I love you just the way you are."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life just happens - enjoy it anyway.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Without zest, what is life?
Just waiting for death?
- Osho

To the uneducated an A is just three sticks.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

We did not change as we grew older;
we just became more clearly ourselves.
- Lynn Hall


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