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Let these funny Momentum Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
Life is like a roller coaster - scream Whee... on the way down,
and let the momentum carry you back up the next hill.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Life is like jumping out of an airplane without a parachute -
only the last couple seconds are fatal,
but most people are scared to death the whole way down.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Life is like a ten speed bicycle.
Most of us have gears we never use.
- Charles M. Schulz
Life ... full of loneliness, and misery,
and suffering, and unhappiness,
and it's all over much too quickly.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall
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It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble.
It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.
- Mark Twain (attributed)
The only fool bigger than the person who knows it all
is the person who argues with him.
- Stanislaw Jerszy Lec
I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner
Morality is simply the attitude we adopt
towards people whom we personally dislike.
- Oscar Wilde
The trick is growing up without growing old.
- Casey Stengel
Life's like Vegas. You're up, you're down,
but in the end the house always wins.
Doesn't mean you didn't have fun.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits.
- Mark Twain
If life is a trial, who is the judge and jury?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.
- Oscar Wilde
Life is defined more by its contrasts than its samenesses;
Life is defined more by its risks than the many securities.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
No matter how much cats fight,
there always seem to be plenty of kittens.
- Abraham Lincoln
Live life on the edge, not with an edge.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Life is serious, get out your magic wand.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
One does not leave a convivial party before closing time.
- Winston Churchill
Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born
at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen.
- Mark Twain
The difference between school and life?
In school, you're taught a lesson and then given a test.
In life, you're given a test that teaches you a lesson.
- Tom Bodett
You can't make an omelet without breaking eggs.
- Anonymous
Life is a journey - enjoy the journey.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
In the book of life, the answers aren't in the back.
- Charles M. Schulz in his Peanuts cartoon
Life only
appears to be
rushing toward us
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Life is always lived in the eye-of-the-storm
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.
- Ogden Nash
To the young child, all life is a great adventure -
when did we grow so dull and brittle.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Old age is fifteen years older than I am.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.
Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans.
- John Lennon
The most difficult phase of life
is not when no one understands you,
it is when you don't understand yourself.
- Anonymous
Life's burdens are lighter when I laugh at myself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I have found that if you love life,
life will love you back.
- Arthur Rubinstein
Life is not supposed to be fair.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All diseases run into one - old age.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Life is really simple,
but we insist on making it complicated.
- Confucius
I love and treasure individuals as I meet them;
I loathe and despise the groups
they identify with and belong to.
- George Carlin
Science may have found a cure for most evils;
but it has found no remedy for the worst of them all -
the apathy of human beings.
- Helen Keller
Play with life, laugh with life,
dance lightly with life,
and smile at the riddles of life,
knowing that life's only true lessons
are writ small in the margin.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass...
It's about learning to Dance in the Rain.
- Vivian Greene
The essence of all religions is one.
Only their approaches are different.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
The life of inner peace,
being harmonious and without stress,
is the easiest type of existence.
- Norman Vincent Peale
Thousands of candles can be lit from a single candle,
and the life of the candle will not be shortened.
Happiness never decreases by being shared.
- The Buddha
Nobody can be uncheered with a balloon.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)
It is hard enough to remember my opinions,
without also remembering my reasons for them!
- Friedrich Nietzsche
Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer
but wish we didn't.
- Erica Jong
Today is your day to laugh at life,
laugh at what's funny - laugh at what's sad,
laugh loud - laugh often,
laugh at me - laugh at you - laugh at life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Success is failure recycled.
Life is death reborn.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Time, like life itself, has no inherent meaning.
We give our own meaning to time as to life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Sometimes I lie awake at night and ask "Why me?"
Then a voice answers "Nothing personal,
your name just happened to come up. -
- Charlie Brown, in Charles M. Schulz' cartoon Peanuts
I Dream This Day of Wondrous Things,
of Peace and Hope and Pride.
I Dance My Dance with Life Today,
I'm Filled with Love Inside.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
We have a great life here in Alaska,
and we're never going back to America again!
- The Simpsons Movie (2007)
Stay Happy, never let anyone get your goat.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Knavery and flattery are blood relations.
- Abraham Lincoln
We make our friends; we make our enemies;
but God makes our next-door neighbor.
- Gilbert (G. K.) Chesterton
You can observe a lot by just watching.
- Yogi Berra
The power of man has grown in every sphere, except over himself.
- Winston Churchill
A big part of letting go is recognizing
when it is time to stay in a situation
and when it is time to move on.
- Darren L. Johnson
You are Never Too Old to Give or Get Gold Stars.
Show Your Honest Appreciation - Today.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
It's never too late -
never too late to start over,
never too late to be happy.
- Jane Fonda
They have come up with a perfect understanding.
He won't try to run her life,
and he won't try to run his, either.
- Anonymous
I don't believe in the after life,
although I am bringing a change of underwear.
- Woody Allen
I can't go back to yesterday -
because I was a different person then.
- Lewis Carroll
Iron rusts from disuse;
water loses its purity from stagnation...
even so does inaction sap the vigor of the mind.
- Leonardo da Vinci
It's not the men in your life that counts,
it's the life in your men.
- Mae West, in the movie I'm No Angel
Am I not destroying my enemies
when I make friends of them?
- Abraham Lincoln
When dealing with people, remember you are
not dealing with creatures of logic,
but creatures of emotion.
- Dale Carnegie
Life is a succession of lessons
which must be lived to be understood.
- Helen Keller
Is today a day to gather strength from the storm -
a day to to learn life lessons for the next battle?
Or is today a day to sit by the fire
and watch the storm rage outside?
Either way, the storm is just life.
Give thanks for all of Life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Most men lead lives of quiet desperation
and go to the grave with the song still in them.
- Henry David Thoreau
A common denominator of all religions is that
they have the power to bring out the best and the worst in people.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Every man prefers belief to the exercise of judgment.
- Lucius Annaeus Seneca
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.