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Funny Handicapped Quotes
Funny Quotes about Handicapped

Let these funny Handicapped Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

Genius may have its limitations,
but stupidity is not thus handicapped.
- Elbert Hubbard

Although I cannot move and I have to speak through a computer,
in my mind I am free.
- Stephen Hawking

It is a waste of time to be angry about my disability.
One has to get on with life and I haven't done badly.
People won't have time for you if you are always angry or complaining.
- Stephen Hawking

If you are disabled, it is probably not your fault,
but it is no good blaming the world or expecting it to take pity on you.
One has to have a positive attitude
and must make the best of the situation that one finds oneself in.
If one is physically disabled,
one cannot afford to be psychologically disabled as well.
- Stephen Hawking


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I thank God for my handicaps, for through them,
I have found myself, my work and my God.
- Helen Keller

I want to thank my parents for everything I am today -
fat, miserable, and paranoid.
- Anonymous

Thank you, gentlemen. Someday I will repay you,
unless of course I can't find you, or if I forget.
- the movie Shrek 2


 

If the only prayer you said in your whole life was,
Thank you, that would suffice.
- Meister Eckhart

I am a self-centered spoiled-rotten brat,
Thank you for nurturing me.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Thank God men cannot fly, and lay waste
the sky as well as the earth.
- Henry David Thoreau

Life is a nurturing mother,
when you just remember to say "thank you."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Thank you, God, for this good life
and forgive us if we do not love it enough.
- Garrison Keillor

It is foolish and wrong to mourn the men who died.
Rather we should thank God that such men lived.
- George S. Patton

Thank you for joining me on this journey we call Life,
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I thank Spirit for EVERYTHING
that has brought me to this moment,
and entrust my entire being
to the gentle nurture of Spirit.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Know the power of saying, "Thank you."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

"Good morning!" he said at last.
"We don't want any adventures here, thank you!
You might try over The Hill or across The Water."
- J. R. R. Tolkien

I thank you God for this most amazing day,
for the leaping greenly spirits of trees
and for the blue dream of sky
and for everything which is natural,
which is infinite, which is yes.
- e. e. cummings

It is my choice to care deeply about others.
No kindness is too small to be important -
the smile to the bank teller,
the sincere "thank you" for all kindnesses received,
the reassuring hand on the shoulder of a loved one or friend.
There is compassion in selfless generosity,
but there is also compassion in heartfelt empathy.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I take every opportunity to articulate to others
the ways that they have blessed and influenced me.
I hold sweet memories of making the opportunity
to thank teachers who have influenced me.
I encourage everyone to seize opportunities
to tell people who have made a gift of knowledge or influence.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Every man in his lifetime needs to thank his faults.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner

Men always want to be a woman's first love -
women like to be a man's last romance.
- Oscar Wilde

You want a friend in Washington? Get a dog.
- Harry S. Truman

You want to do mankind a real service?
Tell funnier jokes.
- the Woody Allen movie Stardust Memories (1980)

Women want mediocre men,
and men are working to be as mediocre as possible.
- Margaret Mead

You'll live to be a hundred if you give up
all the things that make you want to.
- the movie Interiors

My boyfriend and I broke up.
He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to.
- Rita Rudner

Marriage is a wonderful institution,
but who would want to live in an institution?
- H. L. Mencken

Whenever I date a guy, I think,
"Is this the man I want my children
to spend their weekends with?"
- Rita Rudner

Marriages don't last. When I meet a guy,
the first question I ask myself is:
is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?
- Rita Rudner

I don't want to move to a city where the only cultural advantage
is being able to make a right turn on a red light.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall

Here's a toast to your new bride who has everything a girl
could want in her life, except for good taste in men.
- Anonymous

I feel the need to express something,
but I don't know what it is I want to express.
- the movie Interiors

If you want to make enemies,
try to change something.
- Woodrow Wilson

Confused Memories of Childhood:
Hate to my father, cruel hate,
confused with love - a mix not great.
The man I love - the man I hate;
the man I want to emulate.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Law of Contrariness:
Our chief want in life is somebody
who shall make us do what we can.
Having found them, we shall then hate them for it.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Take time to play!
Ask for what you want.
Laugh.
Live loudly.
Be avid.
Learn a new thing.
Be Yourself!
- Mary Anne Radmacher

If you want total security, go to prison.
There you're fed, clothed, given medical care and so on.
The only thing lacking... is freedom.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

The third certainty of life, after death and taxes,
is that nothing will work out the way you want.
Life is fully as bad as you think it is.
Choose to live joyfully anyway.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Too many people spend money they haven't earned,
to buy things they don't want,
to impress people they don't like.
- Will Rogers

People who want to share their religious views with you
almost never want you to share yours with them.
- Dave Barry

When I want to be bold about my movement ...
I for sure do not call it exercise!
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Decide that you want it more than you are afraid of it.
- Bill Cosby

"But I don't want to go among mad people," said Alice.
"Oh, you can't help that," said the cat. "We're all mad here."
- Lewis Carroll

I want to be the white man's brother, not his brother-in-law.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

I want a girl just like good old mom,
who is different in every way.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The jump is so frightening
between where I am,
and where I want to be.
Because of all I may become,
I will close my eyes and leap.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

I would never want to be a member of a group
whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood.
- George Carlin

Mothers all want their sons to grow up to be president,
but they don't want them to become politicians in the process.
- John F. Kennedy

Experience is what you get when you don't get what you want.
- Dan Stanford

How do you want to be remembered?
Live life full out - Begin today.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Nearly all men can stand adversity,
but if you want to test a man's character, give him power.
- Abraham Lincoln

The way I see it, if you want the rainbow,
you gotta put up with the rain.
- Dolly Parton

If you want to be happy, be.
- Leo Tolstoy

People are stupid;
given proper motivation, almost anyone will believe almost anything.
Because people are stupid, they will believe a lie
because they want to believe it's true,
or because they are afraid it might be true.
- Terry Goodkind

If you want to make peace with your enemy,
you have to work with your enemy.
Then he becomes your partner.
- Nelson Mandela

Whatever you want in life, start today.
Not tomorrow - today.
Let it be a small beginning - a tiny beginning.
Your happiness depends on starting today - every day.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If you want to do it,
Do It - TODAY.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If we want to direct our lives,
we must take control of our consistent actions.
It's not what we do once in a while that shapes our lives,
but what we do consistently.
- Anthony Robbins

You know you love someone when you know
you want them to be happy,
even if their happiness means
that you are not a part of it.
- Anonymous

Intolerance betrays want of faith in one's cause.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Attention is the ability we have to discriminate
and to focus only on that which we want to perceive.
- don Miguel Ruiz

It's my party and I'll cry if I want to.
- Leslie Gore

Getting old is a fascination thing.
The older you get, the older you want to get.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

The moment we want to believe something,
we suddenly see all the arguments for it,
and become blind to the arguments against it.
- George Bernard Shaw

Dream up the world you want to live in. Dream out loud.
- Bono

Just because an animal is large, it doesn't mean he doesn't want kindness;
however big Tigger seems to be, remember that he wants as much kindness as Roo.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

We believe whatever we want to believe.
- Demosthenes

Naturally, the common people don't want war ...
but after all it is the leaders of a country who determine the policy,
and it is always a simple matter to drag the people along,
whether it is a democracy, or a fascist dictatorship,
or a parliament, or a communist dictatorship.
Voice or no voice, the people can always be brought
to the bidding of the leaders.
That is easy. All you have to do is tell them
they are being attacked,
and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism
and exposing the country to danger.
It works the same in every country.
- Hermann Goering

Religion has convinced people that there's an invisible man
... living in the sky. Who watches everything you do
every minute of every day. And the invisible man
has a list of ten specific things he doesn't want you to do.
And if you do any of these things,
he will send you to a special place, of burning and fire
and smoke and torture and anguish for you to live forever,
and suffer, and suffer, and burn, and scream,
until the end of time. But he loves you. He loves you.
He loves you and he needs money.
- George Carlin


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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