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Let these funny Probably Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
A woman in love can't be reasonable -
or she probably wouldn't be in love.
- Mae West
If a man smiles all the time,
he's probably selling something that doesn't work.
- George Carlin
Today is probably a good day for something;
but it's a better day for doing nothing.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
We have nearly complete misunderstanding between
people of different faiths in Lake Wobegon,
and that's probably one reason why we get along so very well.
It's when you are trying to convince another person to think
the same way that you do that there is
friction and trouble between people.
But when you feel that the other person is
dumber than dirt, too dumb for words -
why waste your breath - you get along pretty well.
There's no bond between people that's quite so strong as
when people each feel slightly superior towards the other one.
- Garrison Keillor
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If you wait to do everything until you're sure it's right,
you'll probably never do much of anything.
- Win Borden
Man is descended from a hairy, tailed quadruped,
probably arboreal in its habits.
- Charles Darwin
If you think you can,
or you think you can't,
you're probably right.
- Henry Ford
I haven't got any special religion this morning.
My God is the God of Walkers.
If you walk hard enough,
you probably don't need any other god.
- Bruce Chatwin
What you don't do daily, you probably won't do weekly either.
What you make a habit of putting-off
just keeps getting pushed away again and again.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Nobody cares how much you know,
until they know how much you care.
- attributed to Theodore Roosevelt, among others,
but probably earlier and anonymous
Sister is probably the most competitive
relationship within the family,
but once the sisters are grown,
it becomes the strongest relationship.
- Margaret Mead
If you don't know what you want, you will probably never get it.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.
If you have health, you probably will be happy,
and if you have health and happiness,
you have all the wealth you need, even if it is not all you want.
- Elbert Hubbard
In all our contacts, it is probably the sense
of being really needed and wanted
which gives us the greatest satisfaction
and creates the most lasting bond.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
It's the little things you do
that can make a big difference.
What are you attempting to accomplish?
What little thing can you do today
that will make you more effective?
You are probably only one step away from greatness.
- Bob Proctor
One man with courage makes a majority.
- old saying probably repeated by Andrew Jackson
(falsely attributed to Jefferson)
If you are disabled, it is probably not your fault,
but it is no good blaming the world or expecting it to take pity on you.
One has to have a positive attitude
and must make the best of the situation that one finds oneself in.
If one is physically disabled,
one cannot afford to be psychologically disabled as well.
- Stephen Hawking
Personally, I have fond memories of playing
on slippery rocks on the banks of a rushing river
as a child and hitchhiking in college.
To those who say, "But times are different now,"
I reply that statistically life is much safer now
than in the 1950s, with regard to both crime and accidents.
What has changed is our attitudes.
In those years, a broken leg from falling off a swing
or the back of a tractor was just part of childhood -
an excuse for gathering autographs.
Today that broken leg would be a source
of outrage and probably lawsuits.
I long for a simpler time when life was taken less seriously.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Anger is something that each one of us has experienced -
some of us only occasionally, some almost daily.
Can we eliminate all anger? Probably not.
We will always have expectations,
and those expectations will often be unmet.
Disappointment is the principle cause of anger.
When we are disappointed, we look for someone to blame.
Declaring someone to be at fault is the nature of anger.
Anger is always directed at someone -
possibly toward God or the non-specific "they,"
but at some animate entity.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The Bible illustrated by Dore occupied many of my hours -
and I think probably gave me many nightmares.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
Probably the happiest period in life
most frequently is in middle age,
when the eager passions of youth are cooled,
and the infirmities of age not yet begun;
as we see that the shadows,
which are at morning and evening so large,
almost entirely disappear at midday.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
The probability that we may fail
in the struggle ought not to deter us
from the support of a cause we believe to be just.
- Abraham Lincoln
From one point of view, one individual's vote
doesn't make any difference whatsoever.
The probability of an election swinging
by a single vote is infinitesimal.
On the other hand, if everybody took the attitude
that voting didn't matter, there could never
be a democratically elected government - at all.
So, does your vote matter? You bet your vote matters.
And, at least as much as your vote matters,
your intention for the future of the world matters.
That's so important, it's worth saying again.
At Least As Much As Your Vote Matters,
Your Intention For The Future Of The Entire World Matters.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly.
- Robert F. Kennedy
Life is a process of becoming,
a combination of states we have to go through.
Where people fail is that they wish to elect a state
and remain in it. This is a kind of death.
- Anais Nin
Pain is what the world inflicts upon us.
Suffering is our emotional reaction when we fail
to make the difficult conscious choice to choose Joy.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Act as if it were impossible to fail.
- Dorthea Brande
What would you attempt to do if you knew you could not fail?
- Robert H. Schuller
When one door closes, another opens.
But often we look so long, so regretfully,
upon the closed door,
that we fail to see the one that is opened for us.
- Helen Keller
Failure to prepare is preparing to fail.
- John Wooden
Those that fail to learn from history
are doomed to repeat it.
- Winston Churchill
You ARE what you do - and what you fail to do.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
It's not necessary to fear the prospect of failure
but to be determined not to fail.
- Jimmy Carter
People in their handlings of affairs
often fail when they are about to succeed.
If one remains as careful at the end
as he was at the beginning,
there will be no failure.
- Lao Tzu
All that is necessary to break the spell
of inertia and frustration is this:
Act as if it were impossible to fail.
- Dorthea Brande
Failing to plan is planning to fail.
- Anonymous
Try again. Fail again. Fail better.
- Samuel Beckett
Men are born to succeed, not to fail.
- Henry David Thoreau
Women must try to do things as men have tried.
When they fail their failure must be
but a challenge to others.
- Amelia Earhart
Study nature, love nature,
stay close to nature. It will never fail you.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
A bend in the road is not the end of the road
unless you fail to make the turn.
- Anonymous
In order to succeed, you must first be willing to fail.
- Anonymous
The majority of men meet with failure
because of their lack of persistence
in creating new plans to take
the place of those which fail.
- Napoleon Hill
Every experiment, by multitudes or by individuals,
that has a sensual and selfish aim, will fail.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Where words fail, music speaks.
- Hans Christian Andersen
There may be times when we are powerless
to prevent injustice, but there must never
be a time when we fail to protest.
- Elie Wiesel
A man can fail many times,
but he isn't a failure until
he begins to blame somebody else.
- John Burroughs
You may be disappointed if you fail,
but you are doomed if you don't try.
- Beverly Sills
Public sentiment is everything.
With public sentiment, nothing can fail.
Without it, nothing can succeed.
- Abraham Lincoln
If you fail to plan, you plan to fail.
- Anonymous
More men fail through lack of purpose than lack of talent.
- Billy Sunday
The crops were planted, tended, and harvested -
now the ground lies fallow, awaiting the new planting.
Did the year fail? I think not.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Only aim to do your duty,
and mankind will give you credit where you fail.
- Thomas Jefferson
Law and order exist for the purpose of establishing justice
and when they fail in this purpose
they become the dangerously structured dams
that block the flow of social progress.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
If we fail to plan, we merely bob helplessly -
like a cork on the sea of life.
If we resist whatever life delivers to us,
we create untold misery for ourselves.
If we act with vision and commitment,
and then accept whatever Spirit provides,
we live a life of purpose and joy.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Don't be too timid and squeamish about your actions.
All life is an experiment.
The more experiments you make the better.
What if they are a little coarse,
and you may get your coat soiled or torn?
What if you do fail, and get fairly rolled
in the dirt once or twice.
Up again, you shall never be so afraid of a tumble.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Can you achieve your goals?
You can't reach your goal if you haven't
defined your goals.
And you can't succeed if you don't try -
and then pick yourself up
and try again each time you fail.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Please know that I am aware of the hazards.
I want to do it because I want to do it.
Women must try to do things as men have tried.
When they fail, their failure must be a challenge to others.
- Amelia Earhart
The only thing to do with good advice is to pass it on.
It is never of any use to oneself.
- Oscar Wilde
The only fool bigger than the person who knows it all
is the person who argues with him.
- Stanislaw Jerszy Lec
Life is like jumping out of an airplane without a parachute -
only the last couple seconds are fatal,
but most people are scared to death the whole way down.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I don't want to move to a city where the only cultural advantage
is being able to make a right turn on a red light.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall
Oh, if only God would give me some sign.
If He would just speak to me once. Anything.
One sentence. Two words. If He would just cough.
- the movie Love and Death
One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends
is that three out of four murders
are committed by people who know the victim.
- George Carlin
You ask me if I keep a notebook
to record my great ideas.
I've only ever had one.
- Albert Einstein
I always pass on good advice.
It is the only thing to do with it.
It is never of any use to oneself.
- Oscar Wilde
Boys will be boys. And even that wouldn't matter
if only we could prevent girls from being girls.
- Anne Frank
If you want total security, go to prison.
There you're fed, clothed, given medical care and so on.
The only thing lacking... is freedom.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
Less is only more where more is no good.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
Nothing in life is to be feared.
It is only to be understood.
- Marie Curie
Human beings are the only creatures on the planet
who tell time and think they have to earn a living.
- Buckminster Fuller
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.