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Funny Fault Quotes
Funny Quotes about Fault

Let these funny Fault Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

Where there is no accusation of "fault,"
there can be no anger.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I don't care whose fault this was, just get it sorted!
And could someone please bring me something deep fat fried
and smothered in chocolate.
- the movie Shrek 2

Vengeance: "It's your fault; you must pay; you must bleed."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If anyone is unhappy, remember that
his unhappiness is his own fault...
Nothing else is the cause of anxiety or loss of tranquility
except our own opinion.
- Epictetus


 

The ugliest word in the world is revenge.
It spells hate; it spells fear; it spells greed.
For my loss, I must kill; I must steal - must avenge.
It's your fault; you must pay; you must bleed.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

When you are offended at any man's fault,
turn to yourself and study your own failings.
Then you will forget your anger.
- Epictetus

Anger is something that each one of us has experienced -
some of us only occasionally, some almost daily.
Can we eliminate all anger? Probably not.
We will always have expectations,
and those expectations will often be unmet.
Disappointment is the principle cause of anger.
When we are disappointed, we look for someone to blame.
Declaring someone to be at fault is the nature of anger.
Anger is always directed at someone -
possibly toward God or the non-specific "they,"
but at some animate entity.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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Moreover if your brother shall trespass against you,
go and tell him his fault between you and him alone.
- Matthew 18:15

If you are disabled, it is probably not your fault,
but it is no good blaming the world or expecting it to take pity on you.
One has to have a positive attitude
and must make the best of the situation that one finds oneself in.
If one is physically disabled,
one cannot afford to be psychologically disabled as well.
- Stephen Hawking

When you arise in the morning,
give thanks for the morning light, for your life and strength.
Give thanks for your food, and the joy of living.
If you see no reason for giving thanks, the fault lies with yourself.
- Tecumseh

I have gratitude for EVERYTHING that has ever occurred
to bring me to this moment.
I accept that no one else is ever to blame
for either my joy or my suffering.
The entire cause of all my joys and all my sufferings
is my own emotional response to the events of my life,
and I am committed to consistently distinguishing
between my feelings about events
and the physical occurrences of those events.
I declare that everyone who has ever played
any role in any of the events of my life
is entirely without fault.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I Forgive Myself and All Others with Compassion -
I forgive everyone, especially myself,
for all actions and all inactions throughout my entire life.
I accept that no one else has ever been to blame
for either my joy or my suffering.
The entire cause of all my joys and all my sufferings
is my own emotional response to the events of my life,
and I am committed to consistently distinguishing
between my feelings about events
and the physical occurrence of those events.
I declare that everyone who has ever played any role
in any of the events of my life is entirely without fault.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

During his training, a baseball player strives
to make each swing better than the last.
The repetition of a faulty swing would be worse than useless.
It would ingrain bad habits.
The same is true of emotional responses.
If we allow ourselves to continue to have the same angry responses,
we just entrench our anger habit.
But if we strive - through consciousness, visualization, and coaching -
to moderate our anger response,
over time, we can train ourselves to respond
to events as we choose - without anger.
You can't magically be free from anger tomorrow,
but you can put yourself on your own training program
that will reduce the frequency and intensity
of your anger response day by day, year by year.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

A benevolent man should allow a few faults in himself,
to keep his friends in countenance.
- Benjamin Franklin

I look only to the good qualities of men.
Not being faultless myself,
I won't presume to probe into the faults of others.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

It is a great confidence in a friend
to tell him your faults;
greater to tell him his.
- Benjamin Franklin

Every man should have a fair-sized cemetery
in which to bury the faults of his friends.
- Henry Brooks Adams

Deal with the faults of others as gently as with your own.
- Chinese proverb

Many people excuse their own faults
but judge other persons harshly.
We should reverse this attitude
by excusing others' shortcomings
and by harshly examining our own.
- Paramahansa Yogananda

A blessed thing it is for any man or woman to have a friend,
one human soul whom we can trust utterly,
who knows the best and worst of us,
and who loves us in spite of all our faults.
- Charles Kingsley

Every man in his lifetime needs to thank his faults.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Self-respect is often mistaken for arrogance
when in reality it is the opposite.
When we can recognize all our good qualities
as well as or faults with neutrality,
we can start to appreciate ourselves
as we would a dear friend
and experience the comfortable inner glow of respect.
To embrace the journey towards our full potential
we need to become our own loving teacher and coach.
Spurring ourselves on to become better human beings,
we develop true regard for ourselves,
and our life will become sacred.
- Osho

But friendship is precious, not only in the shade,
but in the sunshine of life, and thanks to a benevolent arrangement
the greater part of life is sunshine.
- Thomas Jefferson

Today is the bridge between the past,
regarding which we unconditionally accept that
everything has occurred according to God's plan,
and a future where we place our unconditional trust
in God's omnipotence and His benevolent design for our lives.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

From wine what sudden friendship springs.
- John Gay

Everyone should have at least two friends -
one to talk to and one to talk about.
- Anonymous

Nothing is more cheerful than talking
about our friends' shortcomings.
- Mason Cooley

A friend is someone who will bail you out of jail.
A best friend is the one sitting next
to you saying "boy was that fun."
- The Maugles

A friend will tell you she saw your old boyfriend -
and he's a priest.
- Erma Bombeck

The feeling of friendship is like that
of being comfortably filled with roast beef;
love, like being enlivened with champagne.
- Samuel Johnson

One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends
is that three out of four murders
are committed by people who know the victim.
- George Carlin

The worst part of success is to try to find
someone who is happy for you.
- Bette Midler

Nothing echoes like an empty mailbox.
- Charles M. Schulz' cartoon Peanuts

I have lost friends, some by death ...
others by sheer inability to cross the street.
- Virginia Woolf

Nothing makes the earth seem so spacious
as to have friends at a distance;
they make the latitudes and the longitudes.
- Henry David Thoreau

A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.
- Erma Bombeck

The holy passion of Friendship is of so sweet
and steady and loyal and enduring a nature
that it will last through a whole lifetime,
if not asked to lend money.
- Mark Twain

A man's friendships are, like his will,
invalidated by marriage -
but they are also no less invalidated
by the marriage of his friends.
- Samuel Butler

No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous

Most people enjoy the inferiority of their best friends.
- Lord Chesterfield

Marriage is a sort of friendship recognized by the police.
- Anonymous

Do not use a hatchet to remove
a fly from your friend's forehead.
- Chinese Proverb

I choose my friends for their good looks,
my acquaintances for their good characters,
and my enemies for their intellects.
A man cannot be too careful in the choice of his enemies.
- Oscar Wilde

Money can't buy friends
but it can get you a better class of enemy.
- Spike Milligan

A true friend is one who
overlooks your failures
and tolerates your success.
- Doug Larson

Distance cannot matter - ours is a friendship of the heart.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

It is far better to be alone,
than to be in bad company.
- George Washington

A true friend stabs you in the front.
- Oscar Wilde

A lifelong friend is someone
you haven't borrowed money from yet.
- Anonymous

My father and he had one of those English friendships
which begins by avoiding the intimacies
and eventually eliminates speech altogether.
- Jorge Luis Borges

He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.
- Oscar Wilde

I'm a very loyal and unreliable friend.
- Bono

Nobody can be uncheered with a balloon.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

We make our friends; we make our enemies;
but God makes our next-door neighbor.
- Gilbert (G. K.) Chesterton

I never considered a difference of opinion
in politics, in religion, in philosophy,
as cause for withdrawing from a friend.
- Thomas Jefferson

Friendship is born at that moment
when one person says to another,
"What! You too? I thought I was the only one."
- C. S. Lewis

A loyal friend laughs at your jokes
when they're not so good,
and sympathizes with your problems
when they're not so bad.
- Arnold H. Glasgow

Contrary to general belief,
I do not believe that friends are necessarily
the people you like best,
they are merely the people who got there first.
- Peter Ustinov

"Appeasement" is the policy of feeding your friends to a crocodile,
one at a time, in hopes that the crocodile will eat you last.
- Franklin D. Roosevelt

A friend is someone who knows all about you,
and loves you just the same.
- Elbert Hubbard

Best Friends: we're a parade - even by ourselves!
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Love me when I least deserve it,
because that's when I really need it.
- Swedish Proverb

Thy friendship oft has made my heart to ache;
do be my enemy - for friendship's sake.
- William Blake

No man stands so tall as when he stoops to help a child.
- Anonymous (often attributed to Abraham Lincoln)

I have lost my seven best friends,
which is to say that God has had mercy on me
seven times without realizing it.
He lent a friendship, took it from me, and sent me another.
- Jean Cocteau

Give Honest and Sincere Appreciation.
- Dale Carnegie

To the people who love you,
you are beautiful already.
This is not because they're
blind to your shortcomings
but because they so clearly see your soul.
- Victoria Moran

True friendship is never serene.
- Marquise de Sevigne

A happy family is but an earlier heaven.
- George Bernard Shaw

A true friend is someone who
thinks that you are a good egg
even though he knows that
you are slightly cracked.
- Bernard Meltzer

It is the friends you can call up at 4 A.M. that matter.
- Marlene Dietrich


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- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.