Facebook share Tweet This Email this
Let these funny Greek Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
Know thyself.
- Socrates (inscribed on the ancient Greek temple at Delphi)
Damn it boss, I like you too much not to say it.
You've got everything except one thing: madness!
- the movie Zorba The Greek
Do not do to others what would anger you
if done to you by others.
- Isocrates (Ancient Greek)
I am an Epicurean.
I consider the genuine (not the imputed) doctrines of Epicurus
as containing everything rational in moral philosophy
which Greek and Roman leave to us.
- Thomas Jefferson
Get a Funny Quote of the Day each day by email or in your feed reader.
Every citizen should be a soldier.
This was the case with the Greeks and Romans,
and must be that of every free state.
- Thomas Jefferson
One minute you're in the lunchroom at Glenwood High
and you ... blink and you're 40,
you blink again and you can see movies
at half price on a senior citizen's pass.
Ask not for whom the bell tolls, or to put it more accurately,
ask not for whom the toilet flushes.
- the Woody Allen movie Celebrity
If a man walks in the woods for love of them half of each day,
he is in danger of being regarded as a loafer.
But if he spends his days as a speculator,
shearing off those woods and making the earth bald before her time,
he is deemed an industrious and enterprising citizen.
- Henry David Thoreau
Politics ought to be the part-time profession of every citizen
who would protect the rights and privileges of free people
and who would preserve what is
good and fruitful in our national heritage.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner
If you are not one of us, you are one of them.
- the movie The Matrix (1999)
Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer
When two people decide to get a divorce,
it isn't a sign that they "don't understand" one another,
but a sign that they have, at last, begun to.
- Helen Rowland
One great thing about getting old is that
you can get out of all sorts of social obligations
just by saying you're too tired.
- George Carlin
Give a man one rabbit, and he will eat for a day;
give a man two rabbits, and he will
feed his family and his neighbors
and return you 64,768 rabbits in change.
- Anonymous
Oh, if only God would give me some sign.
If He would just speak to me once. Anything.
One sentence. Two words. If He would just cough.
- the movie Love and Death
Never argue at the dinner table, for the one who is not hungry
always gets the best of the argument.
- Voltaire
No one can have a higher opinion of you than I have,
and I think you're a slimy, contemptible sewer rat!
- the movie The Great Mouse Detective
Everyone should have at least two friends -
one to talk to and one to talk about.
- Anonymous
One man's theology is another man's belly laugh.
- Robert A. Heinlein
There's a couple of things they don't teach you
in Harvard Business School,
one is how to cope with defeat,
the other is how to handle a shotgun.
- The Simpsons Movie (2007)
It is a truth universally acknowledged that
when one part of your life starts going okay,
another falls spectacularly to pieces.
- the movie Bridget Jones Diary
You ask me if I keep a notebook
to record my great ideas.
I've only ever had one.
- Albert Einstein
No one knows what's next, but everybody does it.
- George Carlin
A friend is someone who will bail you out of jail.
A best friend is the one sitting next
to you saying "boy was that fun."
- The Maugles
One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends
is that three out of four murders
are committed by people who know the victim.
- George Carlin
You know, it takes two to get one in trouble.
- the movie She Done Him Wrong (1933)
One does not leave a convivial party before closing time.
- Winston Churchill
You're already a bastard.
Might as well be an enlightened one.
- the movie Simon Birch
One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.
- Ogden Nash
One cannot have everything the way he would like it.
A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment,
anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.
- Mark Twain
Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another.
- H. L. Mencken
One good Husband is worth two good Wives;
for the scarcer things are, the more they're valued.
- Benjamin Franklin
If Christ were here now there is one thing
he would not be - a Christian.
- Mark Twain
Life is just one damned thing after another.
- Elbert Hubbard (Philistine - A Periodical of Protest, 1896)
The best way to appreciate your job
is to imagine yourself without one.
- Oscar Wilde
Thaw with her gentle persuasion is more powerful
than Thor with his hammer.
The one melts, the other breaks into pieces.
- Henry David Thoreau
We are all atheists about most of the gods
that societies have ever believed in.
Some of us just go one god further.
- Richard Dawkins
The most difficult phase of life
is not when no one understands you,
it is when you don't understand yourself.
- Anonymous
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism.
To steal from many is research.
- Anonymous
In order to be an immaculate member of a flock of sheep,
one must above all be a sheep oneself.
- Albert Einstein
No one was ever named "Hero" for following the crowd.
Heroes set their own course.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
One should never know too precisely
whom one has married
- Friedrich Nietzsche
One does not discover new lands without consenting
to lose sight of the shore for a very long time.
- Andre Gide
The essence of all religions is one.
Only their approaches are different.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
"Appeasement" is the policy of feeding your friends to a crocodile,
one at a time, in hopes that the crocodile will eat you last.
- Franklin D. Roosevelt
Principles have no real force except when one is well-fed.
- Mark Twain
I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful,
natural, wholesome things that money can buy.
- Steve Martin
Being a leader is like being a lady,
if you have to go around telling people you are one, you aren't.
- Margaret Thatcher
The best thing about the future is
that it comes one day at a time.
- Abraham Lincoln
One can never consent to creep when one feels the impulse to soar.
- Helen Keller
When written in Chinese, the word "crisis"
is composed of two characters.
One represents danger and the other represents opportunity.
- John F. Kennedy
One should never trust a woman who tells her real age.
If she tells that, she'll tell anything.
- Oscar Wilde
Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.
- Oscar Wilde
Stories of imagination tend to upset those without one.
- Terry Pratchett
When all think alike, no one is thinking very much.
- Walter Lippmann
There is only one thing about which I am certain,
and that is that there is very little
about which one can be certain.
- W. Somerset Maugham
He who loves 50 people has 50 woes;
he who loves no one has no woes.
- The Buddha
She drove me to drink.
That's the one thing I'm indebted to her for.
- the movie Never Give a Sucker an Even Break
The reason I talk to myself is because
I'm the only one whose answers I accept.
- George Carlin
You can always do one thing less than you think you can.
- Anonymous
If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?
- Abraham Lincoln
The rite of the rings appeals yet appalls:
a cutting, a joining, a losing, a gaining.
One becomes half, as two become one.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Science is a wonderful thing
if one does not have to earn one's living at it.
- Albert Einstein
One should always be in love.
That is the reason one should never marry.
- Oscar Wilde
I'm sure we all agree that we ought to love one another
and I know there are people in the world
that do not love their fellow human beings
and I HATE people like that.
- Tom Lehrer
Question with boldness even the existence of a God;
because, if there be one, he must more approve of the homage of reason,
than that of blind-folded fear.
- Thomas Jefferson
The greatest mistake you can make in life
is to be continually fearing you will make one.
- Elbert Hubbard
Education is a method whereby
one acquires a higher grade of prejudices.
- Laurence J. Peter
A fanatic is one who can't change his mind
and won't change the subject.
- Winston Churchill
All diseases run into one - old age.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
A little girl at the wedding afterwards asked her mother
why the bride changed her mind.
What do you mean? responded her mother.
Well, she went down the aisle with one man,
and came back with another.
- Anonymous
Thank you for visiting: Funny Greek Quotes - Funny Quotes about Greek.
Please sign up on the form below to receive
my Free Daily Inspiration - Daily Quotes email.
You can also search my large collection of Funny Quotes.
May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.