Enter one or two keywords to search these Funny Quotes.

Hint: keep it simple, like life twain



Facebook share   Tweet This   Email this

Funny Quotes about Life
Funny Quotes about Life | Funny Love Quotes | Links | About
Search:   A-   B-   Ca-   Co-   D-   E-   F-   G-   H-    I-    J-K-L   M-   N-O   Pa-   Pr-   Q-R   Sa-   Sk-   T-   U-V-W-X-Y-Z

Know thyself. ...
by Socrates

Know thyself.
- Socrates (inscribed on the ancient Greek temple at Delphi)

Beauty is the bait which with delight
allures man to enlarge his kind.
- Socrates

I only wish that ordinary people
had an unlimited capacity for doing harm;
then they might have an unlimited power for doing good.
- Socrates

My advice to you is get married:
if you find a good wife you'll be happy;
if not, you'll become a philosopher.
- Socrates


Get a Funny Quote of the Day each day by email or in your feed reader.

 Subscribe in a reader -- or
Enter your email address:




Delivered by FeedBurner


He is richest who is content with the least,
for content is the wealth of nature.
- Socrates

Beware the barrenness of a busy life.
- Socrates

He is a man of courage who does not run away,
but remains at his post and fights against the enemy.
- Socrates


 

If all misfortunes were laid in one common heap
whence everyone must take an equal portion,
most people would be contented to take their own and depart.
- Socrates

If a man is proud of his wealth,
he should not be praised until it is known how he employs it.
- Socrates

Once made equal to man, woman becomes his superior.
- Socrates

By all means marry.
If you get a good wife, you'll be happy.
If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher
and that is a good thing for any man.
- Socrates

From the deepest desires often come the deadliest hate.
- Socrates

Beauty is a short-lived tyranny.
- Socrates

The greatest way to live with honor in this world
is to be what we pretend to be.
- Socrates

Not life, but good life,
is to be chiefly valued.
- Socrates

The envious person grows lean
with the fatness of their neighbor.
- Socrates

Death may be the greatest of all human blessings.
- Socrates

True wisdom comes to each of us when we realize
how little we understand about life,
ourselves, and the world around us.
- Socrates

The unexamined life is not worth living.
- Socrates

A system of morality which is based
on relative emotional values
is a mere illusion, a thoroughly vulgar conception
which has nothing sound in it and nothing true.
- Socrates

True knowledge exists in knowing that you know nothing.
- Socrates

Envy is the ulcer of the soul.
- Socrates

He is richest who is content with the least.
- Socrates

As to marriage or celibacy, let a man
take which course he will,
he will be sure to repent.
- Socrates

False words are not only evil in themselves,
but they infect the soul with evil.
- Socrates

It is not living that matters, but living rightly.
- Socrates

I know that I am intelligent,
because I know that I know nothing.
- Socrates

The shortest and surest way to
live with honor in the world,
is to be in reality
what we would appear to be.
- Socrates

I am the wisest man alive, for I know one thing,
and that is that I know nothing.
- Socrates

I was really too honest a man to be a politician and live.
- Socrates

As for me, all I know is that I know nothing.
- Socrates

The way to gain a good reputation is to endeavor
to be what you desire to appear.
- Socrates

Let him that would move the world first move himself.
- Socrates

I know nothing except the fact of my ignorance.
- Socrates

The end of life is to be like God,
and the soul following God will be like Him.
- Socrates

Wisdom begins in wonder.
- Socrates

Employ your time in improving yourself by other men's writings,
so that you shall gain easily what others have labored hard for.
- Socrates

An honest man is always a child.
- Socrates

Ordinary people seem not to realize
that those who really apply themselves
in the right way to philosophy
are directly and of their own accord
preparing themselves for dying and death.
- Socrates

Be as you wish to seem.
- Socrates

The only true wisdom is in knowing you know nothing.
- Socrates

All men's souls are immortal,
but the souls of the righteous are immortal and divine.
- Socrates

I cannot teach anybody anything.
I can only make them think.
- Socrates

Be slow to fall into friendship;
but when thou art in, continue firm and constant.
- Socrates

Worthless people live only to eat and drink;
people of worth eat and drink only to live.
- Socrates

I decided that it was not wisdom that
enabled poets to write their poetry,
but a kind of instinct or inspiration,
such as you find in seers and prophets
who deliver all their sublime messages
without knowing in the least what they mean.
- Socrates

One who is injured ought not to return the injury,
for on no account can it be right to do an injustice;
and it is not right to return an injury,
or to do evil to any man,
however much we have suffered from him.
- Socrates

Our prayers should be for blessings in general,
for God knows best what is good for us.
- Socrates

The poets are only the interpreters of the Gods.
- Socrates

Where there is reverence there is fear,
but there is not reverence everywhere that there is fear,
because fear presumably has a wider
extension than reverence.
- Socrates

It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble.
It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.
- Mark Twain (attributed)

Yeah I called her up. She gave me a bunch of ...
about me not listening to her, or something.
I don't know, I wasn't really paying attention.
- the movie Dumb & Dumber (1994)

God writes a lot of comedy... the trouble is,
he's stuck with so many bad actors
who don't know how to play funny.
- Garrison Keillor

A relationship, I think, is like a shark.
You know? It has to constantly move forward or it dies.
And I think what we got on our hands is a dead shark.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall (1977)

Too bad all the people who know how to run this country
are busy running taxicabs or cutting hair.
- George Burns

You know, it takes two to get one in trouble.
- the movie She Done Him Wrong (1933)

You never really know a man until you have divorced him.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor

He early on let her know who is the boss.
He looked her right in the eye and clearly said, "You're the boss."
- Anonymous humor

Half the people you know are below average.
- Anonymous

If you don't know where you are going,
you might wind up someplace else.
- Yogi Berra

One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends
is that three out of four murders
are committed by people who know the victim.
- George Carlin

You know what? Maybe there's a good reason
donkeys shouldn't talk.
- the movie Shrek (2001)

Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world.
I know because I've done it thousands of times.
- Mark Twain

I feel the need to express something,
but I don't know what it is I want to express.
- the movie Interiors

If you ask me anything I don't know,
I'm not going to answer.
- Yogi Berra

One should never know too precisely
whom one has married
- Friedrich Nietzsche

I don't know, I don't care,
and it doesn't make any difference!
- Albert Einstein

I'm sure we all agree that we ought to love one another
and I know there are people in the world
that do not love their fellow human beings
and I HATE people like that.
- Tom Lehrer

I refuse to answer that question
on the grounds that I don't know the answer
- Douglas Adams

You wanna know the meaning of life?
Fugedaboudit - It ain't happnin.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer
but wish we didn't.
- Erica Jong


Thank you for visiting: Know thyself. ... by Socrates.

Please sign up on the form below to receive
my Free Daily Inspiration - Daily Quotes email.

You can also search my large collection of Funny Quotes.

May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


Funny Quotes

 


All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.