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Let these funny Epicurus Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
Riches do not exhilarate us so much with their possession
as they torment us with their loss.
- Epicurus
If God listened to the prayers of men,
all men would quickly have perished:
for they are forever praying for evil against one another.
- Epicurus
Not what we have,
but what we enjoy,
constitutes our abundance.
- Epicurus
It is not so much our friends' help that helps us,
as the confidence of their help.
- Epicurus
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Skillful pilots gain their reputation
from storms and tempest.
- Epicurus
If thou wilt make a man happy,
add not unto his riches but take away from his desires.
- Epicurus
Nothing is enough for the man to whom enough is too little.
- Epicurus
What we enjoy constitutes our abundance.
- Epicurus
I am an Epicurean.
I consider the genuine (not the imputed) doctrines of Epicurus
as containing everything rational in moral philosophy
which Greek and Roman leave to us.
- Thomas Jefferson
I am prepared to meet my Maker.
Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal
of meeting me is another matter.
- Winston Churchill
Oh, if only God would give me some sign.
If He would just speak to me once. Anything.
One sentence. Two words. If He would just cough.
- the movie Love and Death
To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.
- the Woody Allen movie Stardust Memories
You may call God love, you may call God goodness.
But the best name for God is compassion.
- Meister Eckhart
God writes a lot of comedy... the trouble is,
he's stuck with so many bad actors
who don't know how to play funny.
- Garrison Keillor
If we were meant to be happy,
why did God create war, hunger, and the 11 o'clock news?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Question with boldness even the existence of a God;
because, if there be one, he must more approve of the homage of reason,
than that of blind-folded fear.
- Thomas Jefferson
God is a comedian, playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.
- Voltaire
I know that God made the whole world in 4004 BC.
I know because my preacher told me. He's a good man.
He's even saving up all the money we give him
to go to bible college someday.
- Anonymous Humor
You can safely assume that you've
created God in your own image
when it turns out that God hates
all the same people you do.
- Anne Lamott
I don't doubt God. I have firm faith absolutely in God.
It's religion I'm doubting.
- Bono
God must love the common man, he made so many of them.
- Abraham Lincoln
We are all atheists about most of the gods
that societies have ever believed in.
Some of us just go one god further.
- Richard Dawkins
I will far rather see the race of man extinct
than that we should become less than beasts
by making the noblest of God's creation,
woman, the object of our lust.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
God doesn't make junk.
- Anonymous
God Loves an Open Mind, Clean Hands, and a Loving Heart.
So does Your Mother.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
God is a concept by which we measure our pain.
- John Lennon
If it turns out that there IS a God,
I don't think that he's evil.
I think that the worst you can say about him
is that basically he's an underachiever.
- the movie Love and Death
Every man thinks God is on his side.
- Jean Anouilh
What does coffee and donuts have to do with God?
- the movie Simon Birch (1998)
You know your god is man-made when he
hates all the same people you do.
- Anonymous
I tremble for my country when I reflect that God
is just; that his justice cannot sleep forever.
- Thomas Jefferson
God is at play,
I am his modeling clay.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Thank God men cannot fly, and lay waste
the sky as well as the earth.
- Henry David Thoreau
We make our friends; we make our enemies;
but God makes our next-door neighbor.
- Gilbert (G. K.) Chesterton
God has cared for these trees,
saved them from drought, disease, avalanches,
and a thousand tempests and floods.
But he cannot save them from fools.
- John Muir
Talent is God-given; be humble.
Fame is man-given; be thankful.
Conceit is self-given; be careful.
- John Wooden
To know God, watch a butterfly return to the same tree -
after a year and a thousand miles.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The God of Children and Fools:
There once was a man way up high,
who sat on his chair in the sky.
he called down to fool us,
and said he would rule us,
until we woke up bye and bye.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
God grant me the serenity
To accept the things I cannot change;
the courage to change the things I can;
and the wisdom to know the difference.
- Reinhold Niebuhr (Serenity Prayer)
Mother is the name for God
in the lips and hearts of little children.
- William Makepeace Thackeray
Every child comes with the message
that God is not yet discouraged of man.
- Rabindranath Tagore
From the solemn gloom of the temple
children run out to sit in the dust,
God watches them play and forgets the priest.
- Rabindranath Tagore
I contend that we are both atheists.
I just believe in one fewer god than you do.
When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible gods,
you will understand why I dismiss yours.
- Stephen Roberts
I cannot persuade myself that a
beneficent and omnipotent God
would have designedly created parasitic wasps
with the express intention of their feeding
within the living bodies of caterpillars.
- Charles Darwin
When the vast cathedral of our being
becomes a sanctuary for all creation,
we become the face of God.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I have lost my seven best friends,
which is to say that God has had mercy on me
seven times without realizing it.
He lent a friendship, took it from me, and sent me another.
- Jean Cocteau
If anyone has material possessions and sees his brother in need
but has no pity on him, how can the love of God be in him?
- 1 John 3:17
Give thanks for the rainbows, for the butterflies,
for all God's creatures - large and small,
for the bright blue sky and the soft fog and the gentle rain,
for the tree veiled in the season's first frost,
for the baby's laugh, for the touch of a hand
and the whispered "I love you."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
God has given you one face, and you make yourself another.
- William Shakespeare
Stupidity is also a gift of God,
but one mustn't misuse it.
- Pope John Paul II
There are people in the world so hungry,
that God cannot appear to them
except in the form of bread.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Because we believe that our ethnic group,
our society, our political party, our God,
is better than your God, we kill each other.
- Neale Donald Walsch
It takes a long while for a naturally trustful person
to reconcile himself to the idea that
after all God will not help him
- H. L. Mencken
The best remedy for those who are afraid, lonely or unhappy
is to go outside, somewhere where they can be quiet,
alone with the heavens, nature and God.
Because only then does one feel that all is as it should be.
- Anne Frank
Infinite striving to be the best is man's duty;
it is its own reward.
Everything else is in God's hands.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Each one prays to God according to his own light.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
In great contests, each party claims to act
in accordance with the will of God.
Both may be, and one must be wrong.
- Abraham Lincoln
I do not believe in the God of theology
who rewards good and punishes evil.
- Albert Einstein
There is no chance and anarchy in the universe.
All is system and gradation.
Every god is there sitting in his sphere.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
When the solution is simple, God is answering.
- Albert Einstein
I love to think of nature as an unlimited broadcasting station,
through which God speaks to us every hour, if we will only tune in.
- George Washington Carver
God is a metaphor for that which transcends
all levels of intellectual thought.
It's as simple as that.
- Joseph Campbell
I left the "eye for an eye" God
when I walked out of Bible school,
but God Within is a daily part of my personal experience.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Faith is not the belief that God will do what you want.
It is the belief that God will do what is right.
- Max Lucado
Inspiration is God making contact with itself.
- Ram Dass
Look In The Mirror to See The Face Of God.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
We see God face to face every hour,
and know the savor of Nature.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Friends are the siblings God never gave us.
- Mencius
Whenever God wakes in us, our thinking
becomes clear - nothing is missing.
- St. Thomas Aquinas
Look now into the still waters
of the reflecting pool
and behold the face of God.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Security is not the absence of danger,
but the presence of God,
no matter what the danger.
- Anonymous
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
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