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Let these funny Enfold Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
All that glisters is not gold;
Often have you heard that told.
Many a man his life hath sold
but my outside to behold.
Gilded tombs do worms enfold.
- William Shakespeare
Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits
and then complain that he's not the man she married?
- Barbra Streisand
It's not the size of the dog in the fight,
it's the size of the fight in the dog.
- Mark Twain
Live life on the edge, not with an edge.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
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"It's not that important,
don't worry about it" is the answer,
now what was the question?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer
If you are not one of us, you are one of them.
- the movie The Matrix (1999)
Marriage is a fine institution -
but I'm not ready for an institution yet.
- Mae West
DON'T get officious.
You're not yourself when you're officious -
That is the curse of a government job.
- the movie Harold and Maude (1971)
I'm not talking about lust.
A woman in lust wants chocolate.
A woman in love wants diamonds.
- the movie How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for.
- Will Rogers
I care not much for a man's religion
whose dog and cat are not the better for it.
- Abraham Lincoln
Personally, I'm always ready to learn,
although I do not always like being taught.
- Winston Churchill
When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain.
- Mark Twain
Yield to temptation. It may not pass your way again.
- Robert A. Heinlein
No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous
Damn it boss, I like you too much not to say it.
You've got everything except one thing: madness!
- the movie Zorba The Greek
It's not the men in your life that counts,
it's the life in your men.
- Mae West, in the movie I'm No Angel
The key is, to not think of death as an end,
but as more of a very effective way to cut down on your expenses.
- the movie Love and Death
Yeah I called her up. She gave me a bunch of ...
about me not listening to her, or something.
I don't know, I wasn't really paying attention.
- the movie Dumb & Dumber (1994)
If at first you don't succeed,
skydiving is not for you.
- Anonymous
It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks.
She's not marrying the best man.
- Anonymous
Mr. President, I'm not saying we wouldn't get our hair mussed.
But I do say no more than ten to twenty million killed, tops.
Uh, depending on the breaks.
- the movie Dr. Strangelove
In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland
Do not marry a man to reform him.
That is what reform schools are for.
- Mae West
I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.
- Anonymous
The most important words in the English language
are not "I love you" but "It's benign."
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
Never argue at the dinner table, for the one who is not hungry
always gets the best of the argument.
- Voltaire
I'm not used to feeling so human.
Is it always like this?
- Edward, from Twilight Saga by Stephenie Meyer
Women marry men hoping they will change.
Men marry women hoping they will not.
- Albert Einstein
Two things are infinite:
the universe and human stupidity;
and I'm not sure about the universe.
- Albert Einstein
One does not leave a convivial party before closing time.
- Winston Churchill
Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.
- Albert Einstein
The existence of an anthropomorphic
"Father-figure" deity is not impossible,
merely exceptionally improbable and illogical.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
It's not much of a tail, but I'm sort of attached to it.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)
What sane person could live in this world and not be crazy?
- Ursula K. Le Guin
One does not discover new lands without consenting
to lose sight of the shore for a very long time.
- Andre Gide
My advice to you is get married:
if you find a good wife you'll be happy;
if not, you'll become a philosopher.
- Socrates
Genius may have its limitations,
but stupidity is not thus handicapped.
- Elbert Hubbard
The man who does not read good books
has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
- Mark Twain
It is only the poor who pay cash,
and that not from virtue,
but because they are refused credit.
- Anatole France
As far as the laws of mathematics
refer to reality, they are not certain,
and as far as they are certain,
they do not refer to reality.
- Albert Einstein
For those who do not think,
it is best at least to rearrange
their prejudices once in a while.
- Luther Burbank
Morality which depends upon the helplessness
of a man or woman has not much to recommend it.
Morality is rooted in the purity of our hearts.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Though I am a servant, I am not your servant.
- Ursula K. Le Guin
The faith that stands on authority is not faith.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
The most difficult phase of life
is not when no one understands you,
it is when you don't understand yourself.
- Anonymous
The lawyer's truth is not Truth,
but consistency or a consistent expediency.
- Henry David Thoreau
I am not young enough to know everything.
- Oscar Wilde
I once had a rose named after me
and I was very flattered.
But I was not pleased to read
the description in the catalogue:
no good in a bed, but fine up against a wall.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
It's not very heroic to slay dragons.
Dragons are generally very peaceful and well behaved.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The rich are not born skeptical or cynical.
They are made that way by events, circumstances.
- Paul Getty
Am I not destroying my enemies
when I make friends of them?
- Abraham Lincoln
The only advantage of not being too good a housekeeper
is that your guests are so pleased
to feel how very much better they are.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
For centuries, theologians have been explaining
the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-knowing.
- H. L. Mencken
Politics is such a torment that I advise everyone
I love not to mix with it.
- Thomas Jefferson
I am not afraid of storms
for I am learning how to sail my ship.
- Louisa May Alcott
I think that there is nothing, not even crime,
more opposed to poetry, to philosophy, ay, to life itself
than this incessant business.
- Henry David Thoreau
Faith: not wanting to know what is true.
- Friedrich Nietzsche
People who say it cannot be done should not
interrupt those who are doing it.
- George Bernard Shaw
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our Light, not our Darkness, that most frightens us.
- Marianne Williamson
We are finally driven to monogamy
not by morality but by exhaustion.
- Erica Jong
Contrary to general belief,
I do not believe that friends are necessarily
the people you like best,
they are merely the people who got there first.
- Peter Ustinov
The holy passion of Friendship is of so sweet
and steady and loyal and enduring a nature
that it will last through a whole lifetime,
if not asked to lend money.
- Mark Twain
The person who says it cannot be done
should not interrupt the person who is doing it.
- Chinese proverb
Do not laugh much or often or unrestrainedly.
- Epictetus
Too often the strong, silent man is silent only because
he does not know what to say, and is reputed strong
only because he has remained silent.
- Winston Churchill
There is no pleasure in having nothing to do;
the fun is in having lots to do and not doing it.
- Mary Wilson Little
Belief is not the beginning but the end of all knowledge.
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
Silence is not always a Sign of Wisdom,
but Babbling is ever a folly.
- Benjamin Franklin
Adventure is not outside man; it is within.
- George Eliot
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.