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Funny Quotes about Life
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Funny Cats Quotes
Funny Quotes about Cats

Let these funny Cats Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

No matter how much cats fight,
there always seem to be plenty of kittens.
- Abraham Lincoln

I am fond of pigs.
Dogs look up to us.
Cats look down on us.
Pigs treat us as equals.
- Winston Churchill

There are two means of refuge
from the miseries of life:
music and cats.
- Albert Schweitzer

I care not much for a man's religion
whose dog and cat are not the better for it.
- Abraham Lincoln


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A meowing cat can't catch mice.
- Yiddish Proverb

It takes a big cat to be number 2.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The clever cat eats cheese and breathes down
rat holes with baited breath.
- W. C. Fields


 

"But I don't want to go among mad people," said Alice.
"Oh, you can't help that," said the cat. "We're all mad here."
- Lewis Carroll

THE fog comes
on little cat feet.
It sits looking
over harbor and city
on silent haunches
and then moves on.
- Carl Sandburg

A discussion of philosophy is like a cat chasing its tail -
it may be an amusing diversion but
it has no chance for a satisfying conclusion.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

When I took office, only high energy physicists
had ever heard of what is called the Worldwide Web...
Now even my cat has its own page.
- William J. Clinton

Like a Cat, I am Independent, Patient, Alert, and Decisive.
When the time is right, I pounce on opportunity.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If you want reality to be different than it is,
you might as well try to teach a cat to bark.
- Byron Katie

If you want something to be different than it is,
you might as well teach a cat to bark.
Wanting something to be different than it is, is hopeless.
- Byron Katie

One day Alice came to a fork in the road
and saw a Cheshire cat in a tree.
"Which road do I take?" she asked.
His responses was a question: "Where do you want to go?"
"I don't know," Alice answered.
"Then," said the cat, "it doesn't matter."
- Lewis Carroll

I don't care whose fault this was, just get it sorted!
And could someone please bring me something deep fat fried
and smothered in chocolate.
- the movie Shrek 2

Is it ignorance or apathy?
Hey, I don't know and I don't care.
- Jimmy Buffett

If you want total security, go to prison.
There you're fed, clothed, given medical care and so on.
The only thing lacking... is freedom.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

Take care of the sense
and the sounds will take care of themselves.
- Lewis Carroll

I don't care what anybody says about me
as long as it isn't true.
- Truman Capote

I don't know, I don't care,
and it doesn't make any difference!
- Albert Einstein

Just because I don't care,
doesn't mean I don't understand.
- Matt Groening's TV series The Simpsons.

Apathy, indifference, not caring...
It may sound insensitive for me to say, "I don't care,"
but ask first to what I am indifferent.
I choose to be caring, compassionate
and kind toward all people,
and I also choose to be indifferent to gossip,
petty complaints, and idle chatter.
About those, I just don't care.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

We are afraid to care too much, for fear
that the other person does not care at all.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

A man too busy to take care of his health is like
a mechanic too busy to take care of his tools.
- Spanish Proverb

People don't care how much you know
until they know how much they care.
- John C. Maxwell

Farewell My Friend
It was beautiful as long as it lasted
The journey of my life.
I have no regrets whatsoever
save the pain I'll leave behind.
Those dear hearts who love and care...
And the strings pulling at the heart and soul...
The strong arms that held me up
When my own strength let me down.
At every turning of my life
I came across good friends,
Friends who stood by me,
Even when the time raced me by.
Farewell, farewell my friends
I smile and bid you goodbye.
No, shed no tears for I need them not
All I need is your smile.
If you feel sad do think of me
for that's what I'll like
when you live in the hearts
of those you love, remember then
you never die.
- Gitanjali Ghei

Remember that children, marriages, and flower gardens
reflect the kind of care they get.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

The care of human life and happiness, and not their destruction,
is the first and only object of good government.
- Thomas Jefferson

Some people care too much. I think it's called love.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

Be avid.
Create apart from perfection.
Risk failure.
Cover your words with sweat.
Run a little
Touch excruciatingly.
Laugh until you cry.
Dance with your eyes closed.
Care.
Understand you die a little in every moment.
Be Enlivened
- Mary Anne Radmacher

I do not want to foresee the future.
I am concerned with taking care of the present.
God has given me no control over the moment following.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

If you really aren't trying to get anywhere else in this moment,
patience takes care of itself.
- Jon Kabat-Zinn

The more we care for the happiness of others,
the greater is our own sense of well-being.
- Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama

WHY do you care what THEY think?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Whatever words we utter should be chosen with care
for people will hear them and be influenced
by them for good or ill.
- The Buddha

Nobody cares how much you know,
until they know how much you care.
- attributed to Theodore Roosevelt, among others,
but probably earlier and anonymous

Love begins by taking care of the closest ones -
the ones at home.
- Mother Teresa

Self-care is critical to having a strong inner foundation.
Taking good care of YOU means the people in your life
will receive the best of you rather than what is left of you.
- Lorraine Cohen

Caring - Kindness - Compassion - Appreciation ...
It is my choice to care deeply about others.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

We should take care not to make the intellect our god;
it has, of course, powerful muscles, but no personality.
- Albert Einstein

I predict future happiness for Americans
if they can prevent the government
from wasting the labors of the people
under the pretense of taking care of them.
- Thomas Jefferson

If everyone is moving forward together,
then success takes care of itself.
- Henry Ford

History does not long entrust the care of freedom
to the weak or the timid.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

We take care of the future best by taking care of the present now.
- Jon Kabat-Zinn

In my own deepening understanding of myself
I find my capacity to serve others is deepened as well.
The better I am at self-care
the more genuinely nurturing of others I am able to be.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

It is my choice to care deeply about others.
No kindness is too small to be important -
the smile to the bank teller,
the sincere "thank you" for all kindnesses received,
the reassuring hand on the shoulder of a loved one or friend.
There is compassion in selfless generosity,
but there is also compassion in heartfelt empathy.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

You have made people listen.
You have made people care, and you have taught us
that whether we are poor or prosperous,
we have only one world to share.
You have taught young people that
they do have the power to change the world.
- Kofi Annan, UN Secretary General, to Bono. (November 1999)

We should not let our response to
the people who disagree with us
be dictated by what they say about us
or even how they treat people we care for.
There has to be a chance that we can find love.
- William J. Clinton

Modern cynics and skeptics... see no harm in paying those
to whom they entrust the minds of their children
a smaller wage than is paid to those to whom
they entrust the care of their plumbing.
- John F. Kennedy

Always aim high, work hard, and care deeply
about what you believe in.
When you stumble, keep faith.
When you're knocked down, get right back up.
And never listen to anyone who says
you can't or shouldn't go on.
- Hilary Clinton

I choose to be caring, compassionate and kind toward all people,
and I also choose to be indifferent to gossip,
petty complaints, and idle chatter.
About those, I just don't care.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Beginning today, treat everyone you meet
as if they were going to be dead by midnight.
Extend to them all the care,
kindness and understanding you can muster,
and do with no thought of any reward.
Your life will never be the same again.
- Og Mandino

My God, this is a hell of a job. I have no trouble with my enemies.
I can take care of my enemies all right.
But my damn friends, my goddamn friends.
They're the ones that keep me walking the floor at night.
- Warren G. Harding

This [the Holocaust] must never happen again. ...
Be vigilant about your rights.
Care about the rights and human dignity of others.
When the rights of any group, no matter how small,
no matter how marginal, are violated,
your liberty, your freedom is put at risk.
Let there never be a day when we cast about in horror
and have to ask the question, "How did it ever come to this?"
- Thomas Childers, Ph.D., Professor of History,
University of Pennsylvania, in the closing remarks
of his six-hour Teaching Company audio lecture series

If you doubt the virtue in self-honor,
remember what the flight attendant says,
"Put your own oxygen mask on first."
You are of no use to anyone else
if you have not taken care of your own needs first -
this includes your own emotional,
as well as physical, well-being.
In addition, your greatest value to your children,
your family, your friends, and your community
is the example you set, leading a great life that inspires
those around you to emulate your being.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Jesus said: "A man was going down from Jerusalem to Jericho,
when he fell into the hands of robbers.
They stripped him of his clothes, beat him
and went away, leaving him half dead.
A priest happened to be going down the same road,
and when he saw the man, he passed by on the other side.
So too, a Levite [religious leader],
when he came to the place and saw him,
passed by on the other side.
But a Samaritan [Samaritans and Jews generally disliked
and were suspicious of each other] came where the man was;
and when he saw him, he took pity on him.
He went to him and bandaged his wounds ... and ...
took him to an inn and took care of him. ...
Jesus [said] "Go and do likewise."
- Luke 10:25-37 (The Parable of the Good Samaritan)

Training - training is everything; training is all there is to a person.
We speak of nature; it is folly; there is no such thing as nature;
what we call by that misleading name is merely heredity and training.
We have no thoughts of our own, no opinions of our own;
they are transmitted to us, trained into us.
All that is original in us, and therefore fairly creditable
or discreditable to us, can be covered up and hidden
by the point of a cambric needle, all the rest being atoms
contributed by, and inherited from, a procession of ancestors
that stretches back a billion years to the Adam-clam
or grasshopper or monkey from whom our race has been
so tediously and ostentatiously and unprofitably developed.
And as for me, all that I think about in this plodding sad pilgrimage,
this pathetic drift between the eternities,
is to look out and humbly live a pure and high and blameless life,
and save that one microscopic atom in me that is truly me:
the rest may land in Sheol and welcome for all I care.
- Mark Twain in A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court

Conscience is a mother-in-law whose visit never ends.
- H. L. Mencken

The reason I talk to myself is because
I'm the only one whose answers I accept.
- George Carlin

I would never want to be a member of a group
whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood.
- George Carlin

The true meaning of life is to plant trees,
under whose shade you do not expect to sit.
- Nelson Henderson

Revenge... is like a rolling stone,
which, when a man hath forced up a hill,
will return upon him with a greater violence,
and break those bones whose sinews gave it motion.
- Albert Schweitzer

The problems of the world cannot possibly
be solved by skeptics or cynics
whose horizons are limited by the obvious realities.
We need men who can dream of things that never were.
- John F. Kennedy

Imagine for yourself a character,
a model personality whose example you determine to follow,
in private as well as in public.
- Epictetus

Whose laws have priority in your life?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

What is a weed? A plant whose virtues
have never been discovered.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

There is no person in this room whose basic rights
are not involved in any successful defiance
to the carrying out of court orders.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

The ultimate test of a man's conscience
may be his willingness to sacrifice something today
for future generations whose words of thanks will not be heard.
- Gaylord Nelson

'Tis the business of little minds to shrink,
but they whose heart is firm,
and whose conscience approves their conduct,
will pursue their principles unto death.
- Thomas Paine

Social progress can be measured
by the social position of the female sex.
- Karl Marx
(German philosopher and political economist
whose ideas are credited as the foundation of modern communism)


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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