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Funny Means Quotes
Funny Quotes about Means

Let these funny Means Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

You have enemies? Good.
That means you've stood up for something,
sometime in your life.
- Winston Churchill

TEAMWORK...means never having to take all the blame yourself.
- Anonymous

Confusion of goals and perfection of means seems,
in my opinion, to characterize our age.
- Albert Einstein

Democracy means simply the bludgeoning of the people
by the people for the people.
- Oscar Wilde


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"When I use a word," Humpty Dumpty said in rather a scornful tone,
"it means just what I choose it to mean - neither more nor less."
- Lewis Carroll

The means by which we live have outdistanced
the ends for which we live.
Our scientific power has outrun our spiritual power.
We have guided missiles and misguided men.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Peace is not merely a distant goal that we seek,
but a means by which we arrive at that goal.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.


 

Love means not ever having to say you're sorry.
- Erich Segal

Those who won our independence...
valued liberty as an end and as a means.
They believed liberty to be the secret of happiness
and courage to be the secret of liberty.
- Louis D. Brandeis

Our loyalties must transcend our race, our tribe,
our class, and our nation;
and this means we must develop a world perspective.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Good manners sometimes means simply
putting up with other people's bad manners.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

You can discover what your enemy fears most
by observing the means he uses to frighten you.
- Michael Moncur

Life is not a tragedy, it is a comedy.
To be alive means to have a sense of humor.
- Osho

By all means marry.
If you get a good wife, you'll be happy.
If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher
and that is a good thing for any man.
- Socrates

You know you love someone when you know
you want them to be happy,
even if their happiness means
that you are not a part of it.
- Anonymous

Non-violence means avoiding not only external physical violence
but also internal violence of spirit.
You not only refuse to shoot a man,
but you refuse to hate him.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

We shall draw from the heart of suffering itself
the means of inspiration and survival.
- Winston Churchill

I suppose leadership at one time meant muscles;
but today it means getting along with people.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Every time you hear a bell ring,
it means that some angel's just got his wings.
- It's a Wonderful Life (1946 movie)

The clearest way to show what the rule of law
means to us in everyday life
is to recall what has happened when there is no rule of law.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

Heaven means to be one with God.
- Confucius

Eroticism is one of the basic means of self-knowledge,
as indispensable as poetry.
- Anais Nin

There are two means of refuge
from the miseries of life:
music and cats.
- Albert Schweitzer

Violent means will give violent freedom.
That would be a menace to the world and to India herself.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Letting go doesn't mean giving up...
it means moving on.
- Anonymous

The man who promises everything, is sure to fulfill nothing,
and everyone who promises too much is in danger of
using evil means in order to carry out his promises,
and is already on the road to perdition.
- Carl Jung

Self-care is critical to having a strong inner foundation.
Taking good care of YOU means the people in your life
will receive the best of you rather than what is left of you.
- Lorraine Cohen

My religion is based on truth and non-violence.
Truth is my God. Non-violence is the means of realizing Him.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

If you seek truth, you will not seek
victory by dishonorable means,
and if you find truth, you will become invincible.
- Epictetus

True love means putting the other person before yourself,
and honoring the relationship above all.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

It is only the great-hearted who can be true friends.
The mean and cowardly can never know what true friendship means.
- Charles Kingsley

If it is surely the means to the highest end we know,
can any work be humble or disgusting?
Will it not rather be elevating as a ladder,
the means by which we are translated?
- Henry David Thoreau

Being happy doesn't mean that everything is perfect.
It means that you've decided to look beyond the imperfections.
- Anonymous

Education is not the answer to the question.
Education is the means to the answer to all questions.
- William Allin

Lack of culture means what it has always meant:
ignoble civilization and therefore imminent downfall.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

Mindfulness means paying attention in a particular way:
on purpose, in the present moment, and non-judgmentally.
- Jon Kabat-Zinn

Mindfulness means being awake.
It means being aware of what you are doing.
- Jon Kabat-Zinn

We each have a sixth sense that is
attuned to the oneness dimension in life,
providing a means for us to guide our lives
in accord with our ideas.
- Henry Reed

The means we use must be as pure
as the ends we seek.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

A perfection of means,
and confusion of aims,
seems to be our main problem.
- Albert Einstein

There's a trick to the Graceful Exit.
It begins with the vision to recognize when a job, a life stage,
a relationship is over - and to let go.
It means leaving what's over without denying its value.
- Ellen Goodman

A free America... means just this:
individual freedom for all, rich or poor,
or else this system of government we call democracy
is only an expedient to enslave man
to the machine and make him like it.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

What has happened at Guantanamo Bay...
does not represent the will of the American people.
I'm embarrassed about it, I think its wrong.
I think it does give terrorists an unwarranted excuse
to use the despicable means to hurt innocent people.
- Jimmy Carter

Liar is a strong word, but we are all liars.
Not in the sense of intentionally speaking untruths,
but in the sense of carrying so much historical
and emotional baggage that none of us is believable.
To lie means to speak an untruth,
and virtually everything that comes out of our mouth
is an untruth - an opinion, an assumption,
a point-of-view based on our past.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

What if Christmas, he thought, doesn't come from a store.
What if Christmas, perhaps, means a little bit more.
- Dr. Seuss

Nobody needs your help.
I know, I know, this is a difficult one. But it is true.
This does not mean no one wants your help,
or that no one could use your help.
It simply means the thought that another
Aspect of Divinity is powerless without you is inaccurate.
- Neale Donald Walsch

The essence of all religions is One.
Surrender is the main duty of everyone.
Surrender means the feeling of oneness,
I and God are One. Why?
The reason is that the One
who is present in you is present in me.
- Sri Sathya Sai Baba

Going with the flow doesn't mean that we don't know where we're going;
it means that we are open to multiple ways of getting there.
Going with the flow means that we are aware of an energy
that is larger than our small selves,
and we are open to working with it, not against it.
- Madisyn Taylor

To let go means to give up coercing, resisting, or struggling,
in exchange for something more powerful and wholesome
which comes out of allowing things to be as they are
without getting caught up in your attraction to or rejection of them,
in the intrinsic stickiness of wanting, of liking and disliking.
- Jon Kabat-Zinn

You can't move so fast that you try to change
the mores faster than people can accept it.
That doesn't mean you do nothing,
but it means that you do the things that
need to be done according to priority.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

The desire of gold is not for gold.
It is for the means of freedom and benefit.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

If being an egomaniac means I believe
in what I do and in my art or my music,
then in that respect you can call me that.
I believe in what I do, and I'll say it.
- John Lennon

I am trying to own my own opinions
and offer what I know as an option,
just as I would present a tray of appetizers for my guests.
Here are several choices that I have created -
if one looks good you are welcome to take it.
In other words, I am training myself to say,
"May I tell you how it is for me?"
When I ask the question, it means waiting
for the invitation to share.
It also means being prepared for my friend to say,
"No." They don't want to know.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Man tends to increase at a greater rate
than his means of subsistence.
- Charles Darwin

Our inventions are wont to be pretty toys,
which distract our attention from serious things.
They are but improved means to an unimproved end.
- Henry David Thoreau

Life's like Vegas. You're up, you're down,
but in the end the house always wins.
Doesn't mean you didn't have fun.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

Sucking the marrow out of life
doesn't mean choking on the bone.
- Robin Williams as John Keating
in the 1989 movie Dead Poets Society

Just because I don't care,
doesn't mean I don't understand.
- Matt Groening's TV series The Simpsons.

A little girl at the wedding afterwards asked her mother
why the bride changed her mind.
What do you mean? responded her mother.
Well, she went down the aisle with one man,
and came back with another.
- Anonymous

The age of a woman doesn't mean a thing.
The best tunes are played on the oldest fiddles.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Sometimes I wonder if we shall ever grow up
in our politics and say definite things which mean something,
or whether we shall always go on using generalities
to which everyone can subscribe, and which mean very little.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

Saying goodbye doesn't mean anything.
It's the time we spent together that matters,
not how we left it.
- Trey Parker

People take different roads seeking fulfillment and happiness.
Just because they're not on your road
doesn't mean they've gotten lost.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

Just because an animal is large, it doesn't mean he doesn't want kindness;
however big Tigger seems to be, remember that he wants as much kindness as Roo.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

Life is a game - a game you can never win.
You already know the final score: Life 1, You 0.
Doesn't mean you can't have fun playing.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Make your "yes" mean yes,
and your "no" mean no.
- John Wooden

No matter how dull, or how mean, or how wise a man is,
he feels that happiness is his indisputable right.
- Helen Keller

Just because your voice reaches halfway around the world
doesn't mean you are wiser
than when it reached only to the end of the bar.
- Edward R. Murrow

Healing does not mean going back to the way things were before,
but rather allowing what is now to move us closer to God.
- Ram Dass

Be clear with yourself about what you mean
in conversations with others, and especially with yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

For a people who are free, and who mean to remain so,
a well-organized and armed militia is their best security.
- Thomas Jefferson


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- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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