Enter one or two keywords to search these Funny Quotes.

Hint: keep it simple, like life twain




Facebook share   Tweet This   Email this

Funny Quotes about Life
Funny Quotes about Life | Funny Love Quotes | Links | About
Search:   A-   B-   Ca-   Co-   D-   E-   F-   G-   H-    I-    J-K-L   M-   N-O   Pa-   Pr-   Q-R   Sa-   Sk-   T-   U-V-W-X-Y-Z

Funny Past Quotes
Funny Quotes about Past

Let these funny Past Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

What's done is done.
- William Shakespeare

For my part, I consider that it will be found much better
by all parties to leave the past to history,
especially as I propose to write that history myself.
- Winston Churchill

Uh-oh. My past is throwing clods at my future again.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

History is the version of past events
that people have decided to agree upon.
- Napoleon Bonaparte


 

As I have discovered by examining my past,
I started out as a child.
Coincidentally, so did my brother.
My mother did not put all her eggs in one basket,
so to speak: she gave me a younger brother named Russell,
who taught me what was meant by "survival of the fittest."
- Bill Cosby

We are not held back by the love we didn't receive in the past,
but by the love we're not extending in the present.
- Marianne Williamson

"I" is a non-stop storyteller, spinning tales
of the past, the present and the future -
constantly editing, interpreting
and directing this inner movie.
- Josh Baran


Get a Funny Quote of the Day each day by email or in your feed reader.

 Subscribe in a reader -- or
Enter your email address:




Delivered by FeedBurner


The Principal Causes of Our Suffering are
Our Past, and Our Expectations and Assumptions.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I Receive ALL of Life with Thanksgiving -
I have gratitude for EVERYTHING
that has ever occurred to bring me to this moment.
I give thanks for the joys and the sufferings,
the moments of peace and the flashes of anger,
the compassion and the indifference,
the roar of my courage and the cold sweat of my fear.
I accept gratefully the entirety of my past and my present life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Forgiveness ... is the finishing of old business
that allows us to experience the present,
free of contamination from the past.
- Joan Borysenko

My Mama always said you've got to put the past behind you
before you can move on.
- the movie Forrest Gump

Life - for most people - is their past projected large
onto the movie screen of their future.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

When someone has a strong intuitive connection,
Buddhism suggests that it's because of karma,
some past connection.
- Richard Gere

Oh yes, the past can hurt.
But, you can either run from it or, learn from it.
- the movie The Lion King

Every saint has a past and every sinner has a future.
- Oscar Wilde

Live life with no regrets and no resentments.
Whatever happened in the past,
forgive yourself and others. Choose love.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

You can't change the past,
but you can ruin the present
by worrying about the future.
- Anonymous

Don't project your past onto my future.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Golf appeals to the idiot in us and the child.
Just how childlike golf players become is proven by
their frequent inability to count past five.
- John Updike

The past has no power over the present moment.
- Eckhart Tolle

Create your future from your future not your past.
- Werner Erhard

Life is a journey. It is not a race to test
who can finish first or who can end up with the most loot.
Rather, life is best enjoyed as a meander -
watching the view to left and right - above and below -
as the days slowly move past in dress review.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

History is a relentless master.
It has no present, only the past rushing into the future.
To try to hold fast is to be swept aside.
- John F. Kennedy

You can never plan the future by the past.
- Edmund Burke

Whatever happened in the past,
forgive yourself and others.
Choose love.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I create a new and more loving story
to surround each event in my past.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Honor your past, and all the consequences of that past.
Receive insight into relieving the pain
caused by past experiences and current attitudes toward life.
Observe life as it currently appears,
and then train yourself to observe life
from other perspectives that support a higher quality of living.
Re-consider your priorities.
Chart your Course.
Set Sail with Courage.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

As in geology, so in social institutions,
we may discover the causes of all past changes
in the present invariable order of society.
- Henry David Thoreau

My life is every moment of my life.
It is not a culmination of the past.
- Hugh Leonard

A moral being is one who is capable of reflecting
on his past actions and their motives -
of approving of some and disapproving of others.
- Charles Darwin

The Web as I envisaged it, we have not seen it yet.
The future is still so much bigger than the past.
- Tim Berners-Lee

Death is the last enemy: once we've got past that I
think everything will be alright.
- Alice Thomas Ellis

I'll never stop dreaming that one day we can be a real family,
together, all of us laughing and talking,
loving and understanding, not looking at the past but only to the future.
- LaToya Jackson

Don't let the past drive life - choose life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The past is really almost as much a work of the imagination as the future.
- Jessamyn West

Drive into your future looking at the open road ahead
rather than into the rear-view mirror of your past.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The past does not equal the future.
- Anthony Robbins

Inner peace can be reached
only when we practice forgiveness ...
letting go of the past,
and correcting our misperceptions.
- Gerald Jampolsky

Every time a student walks past a really urgent,
expressive piece of architecture that belongs to his college,
it can help reassure him that he does have that mind,
does have that soul.
- Louis Kahn

He who has loved and who betrays love does harm not
only to the image of the past,
but to the past itself.
- Theodor Adorno

Who controls the past controls the future.
Who controls the present controls the past.
- George Orwell

The lessons of the past provide the path to the future.
- Anonymous

Forgiveness does not change the past,
but it does enlarge the future.
- Paul Boese

He who spends time regretting the past,
loses the present and risks the future.
- Quevedo

The past actually happened but history is only what someone wrote down.
- A. Whitney Brown

In old age we are like a batch of letters that someone has sent.
We are no longer in the past, we have arrived.
- Knut Hamsun

Learn from the past, set vivid, detailed goals for the future,
and live in the only moment of time over which you have any control:
now.
- Denis Waitley

I recognize that the person I was in my past
is not the person I am today.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I like the dreams of the future better than the history of the past.
- Thomas Jefferson

The past is a ghost, the future a dream,
and all we ever have is now.
- Bill Cosby

The secret of health for both mind and body
is not to mourn for the past,
nor to worry about the future,
but to live the present moment wisely and earnestly.
- The Buddha

RESPONSIBILITY: Fulfill the obligations that the past posts to me.
Embrace the opportunity for service based in love.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Life is the future, not the past.
- Terry Goodkind

Study the past, if you would divine the future.
- Confucius

Do not dwell in the past,
do not dream of the future,
concentrate the mind on the present moment.
- The Buddha

The past is prophetic in that it asserts loudly
that wars are poor chisels for carving out peaceful tomorrows.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

In Iroquois society, leaders are encouraged to
remember seven generations in the past and
consider seven generations in the future
when making decisions that affect the people.
- Wilma Mankiller

Gain happiness by living in the present -
without regret for the past or fear of the future.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I choose not to project my past onto my future.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Prepare for the unknown by studying how others in the past
have coped with the unforeseeable and the unpredictable.
- George S. Patton

Fear not for the future,
weep not for the past.
- Percy Bysshe Shelley

The danger of the past was that men became slaves.
The danger of the future is that man may become robots.
- Erich Fromm

Trying to sneak a fastball past Hank Aaron is like
trying to sneak the sunrise past a rooster.
- Joe Adcock

For time and the world do not stand still.
Change is the law of life.
And those who look only to the past or the present
are certain to miss the future.
- John F. Kennedy

To design the future effectively, you must first let go of your past.
- Charles J. Givens

When you forgive, you in no way change the past -
but you sure do change the future.
- Bernard Meltzer

The future has nothing in common with the past -
except natural laws and human nature.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The heart knows nothing of the past,
nothing of the future;
it knows only of the present.
- Osho

I accept gratefully the entirety of my past and my present life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If I feel depressed I will sing.
If I feel sad I will laugh.
If I feel ill I will double my labor.
If I feel fear I will plunge ahead.
If I feel inferior I will wear new garments.
If I feel uncertain I will raise my voice.
If I feel poverty I will think of wealth to come.
If I feel incompetent I will think of past success.
If I feel insignificant I will remember my goals.
Today I will be the master of my emotions.
- Og Mandino

With the past, I have nothing to do;
nor with the future. I live now.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson


Thank you for visiting: Funny Past Quotes - Funny Quotes about Past.

Please sign up on the form below to receive
my Free Daily Inspiration - Daily Quotes email.

You can also search my large collection of Funny Quotes.

May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Sign-up for your free subscription to my Daily Inspiration - Daily Quote email.

Your E-Mail Address:
Your Name:

To confirm your subscription, you must click on a link in the email being sent to you.

Each email contains an unsubscribe link. We will NEVER sell, rent, loan, or abuse your email address in ANY way.


Funny Quotes

 


All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.