Enter one or two keywords to search these Funny Quotes.

Hint: keep it simple, like life twain



Facebook share   Tweet This   Email this

Funny Quotes about Life
Funny Quotes about Life | Funny Love Quotes | Links | About
Search:   A-   B-   Ca-   Co-   D-   E-   F-   G-   H-    I-    J-K-L   M-   N-O   Pa-   Pr-   Q-R   Sa-   Sk-   T-   U-V-W-X-Y-Z

Funny History Quotes
Funny Quotes about History

Let these funny History Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

For my part, I consider that it will be found much better
by all parties to leave the past to history,
especially as I propose to write that history myself.
- Winston Churchill

History teaches us that men and nations behave wisely
only after they have exhausted all other alternatives.
- Abba Eban

History will be kind to me for I intend to write it.
- Winston Churchill

The claim "I was only following orders" has been used
to justify too many tragedies in our history.
- Captain Picard of the television series
STAR TREK: The Next Generation


 

Things have never been more like the way they are today in history.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

It is sad but unfortunately true that
man learns nothing from history.
- Carl Jung

History is the version of past events
that people have decided to agree upon.
- Napoleon Bonaparte


Get a Funny Quote of the Day each day by email or in your feed reader.

 Subscribe in a reader -- or
Enter your email address:




Delivered by FeedBurner


It takes an endless amount of history to make even a little tradition.
- Henry James

History is indeed little more than the register of the crimes,
follies, and misfortunes of mankind.
- Edward Gibbon

Sometimes it is said that man cannot be trusted
with the government of himself.
Can he, then be trusted with the government of others?
Or have we found angels in the form of kings to govern him?
Let history answer this question.
- Thomas Jefferson

History is a tool used by politicians to justify their intentions.
- Ted Koppel

People that are really very weird can get into sensitive
positions and have a tremendous impact on history.
- Dan Quayle

You have to look at history as an evolution of society.
- Jean Chretien

History is a cyclic poem written by time upon the memories of man.
- Percy Bysshe Shelley

History is an account, mostly false,
of events,
mostly unimportant, which are brought about by rulers,
mostly knaves, and soldiers, mostly fools.
- Ambrose Bierce

It is the soothing thing about history that it does repeat itself.
- Gertrude Stein

History never looks like history when you are living through it.
- John W. Gardner

It's a very good historical book about history.
- Dan Quayle

History is a vision of God's creation on the move.
- Arnold J. Toynbee

France is delighted at this new opportunity to show
the world that when one has the will one can succeed
in joining peoples who have been brought close by history.
- Francois Mitterrand

History is a vast early warning system.
- Norman Cousins

History is a pack of lies about events that never happened
told by people who weren't there.
- George Santayana

History is a gallery of pictures in which there are
few originals and many copies.
- Alexis de Tocqueville

Anyone who knows history, particularly
the history of Europe, will, I think,
recognize that the domination
of education or of government
by any one particular religious faith
is never a happy arrangement for the people.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

That great dust-heap called 'history'.
- Augustine Birrell

Never doubt that you can change history.
You already have.
- Marge Piercy

Human history becomes more and more a race between
education and catastrophe.
- H. G. Wells

The past actually happened but history is only what someone wrote down.
- A. Whitney Brown

History is the sum total of things that could have been avoided.
- Konrad Adenauer

People are trapped in history and history is trapped in them.
- James A. Baldwin

History is more or less bunk.
- Henry Ford

It was a Greek tragedy.
Nixon was fulfilling his own nature.
Once it started it could not end otherwise.
- Henry A. Kissinger

Despise the enemy strategically, but take him seriously tactically.
- Mao Tse-Tung

You must pursue this investigation of Watergate even
if it leads to the president.
I'm innocent.
You've got to believe I'm innocent.
If you don't, take my job.
- Richard M. Nixon

Democratic nations must try to find ways to starve
the terrorist and the hijacker of the oxygen of publicity on which they depend.
- Margaret Thatcher

I'm the only person of distinction who has ever had
a depression named for him.
- Herbert Hoover

The test of our progress is not whether we add more
to the abundance of those who have much it is whether
we provide enough for those who have little.
- Franklin D. Roosevelt

They can shout down the head of the physics department at Cal Tech.
- James Stockdale

Being president is like being a jackass in a hailstorm.
There's nothing to do but to stand there and take it.
- Lyndon B. Johnson

No greater nor more affectionate honor can be conferred
on an American than to have a public school named after him.
- Herbert Hoover

It is necessary for me to establish a winner image.
Therefore, I have to beat somebody.
- Richard M. Nixon

The future has a way of arriving unannounced.
- George Will

Russians can give you arms but only the United States can give you a solution.
- Anwar Sadat

Everything we believe is a matter of evolution and history.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

To wear your heart on your sleeve isn't a very good plan;
you should wear it inside,
where it functions best.
- Margaret Thatcher

We used to root for the Indians against the cavalry,
because we didn't think it was fair in the history
books that when the cavalry won it was a great victory,
and when the Indians won it was a massacre.
- Dick Gregory

The greater the difficulty, the more the glory in surmounting it.
- Epicurus

Be as a tower firmly set; Shakes not its top for any blast that blows.
- Dante Alighieri

Never in the field of human conflict
was so much owed by so many to so few.
- Winston Churchill

The 1st Amendment protects the right to speak,
not the right to spend.
- Byron White

Libraries are not made, they grow.
- Augustine Birrell

Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever.
- Napoleon Bonaparte

In the long term we can hope that religion will change
the nature of man and reduce conflict.
But history is not encouraging in this respect.
The bloodiest wars in history have been religious wars.
- Richard M. Nixon

We peruse one ideal, that of bringing people together in peace,
irrespective of race, religion and political convictions,
for the benefit of mankind.
- Juan Antonio Samaranch

Something as curious as the monarchy won't survive
unless you take account of people's attitudes.
After all, if people don't want it, they won't have it.
- Prince Charles

Friendship is a word, the very sight of which in print makes the heart warm.
- Augustine Birrell

I have tried to lift France out of the mud.
But she will return to her errors and vomitings.
I cannot prevent the French from being French.
- Charles de Gaulle

They were afraid, never having learned what I taught myself:
Defeat the fear of death and welcome the death of fear.
- G. Gordon Liddy

The real 1960s began on the afternoon of November 22,
1963.
It came to seem that Kennedy's murder opened some malign
trap door in American culture,
and the wild bats flapped out.
- Lance Morrow

Failure is impossible.
- Susan B. Anthony

Generally speaking, historically in this country,
the care of a child has been thought of as female business.
- Eddie Bernice Johnson

Posterity: you will never know how much it has cost
my generation to preserve your freedom.
I hope you will make good use of it.
- John Quincy Adams

Remember, God provides the best camouflage several hours out of every 24.
- David M. Shoup

Terrorism takes us back to ages we thought were long
gone if we allow it a free hand to corrupt democratic
societies and destroy the basic rules of international life.
- Jacques Chirac

Following the light of the sun, we left the Old World.
- Christopher Columbus

Most of the things worth doing in the world had been
declared impossible before they were done.
- Louis D. Brandeis

Seek freedom and become captive of your desires.
Seek discipline and find your liberty.
- Frank Herbert

The Marine Corps is the Navy's police force and as
long as I am President that is what it will remain.
They have a propaganda machine that is almost equal to Stalin's.
- Harry S. Truman

The past is really almost as much a work of the imagination as the future.
- Jessamyn West

Keeping books on social aid is capitalistic nonsense.
I just use the money for the poor.
I can't stop to count it.
- Evita Peron

This is one small step for a man, one giant leap for mankind.
- Neil Armstrong


Thank you for visiting: Funny History Quotes - Funny Quotes about History.

Please sign up on the form below to receive
my Free Daily Inspiration - Daily Quotes email.

You can also search my large collection of Funny Quotes.

May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Sign-up for your free subscription to my Daily Inspiration - Daily Quote email.

Your E-Mail Address:
Your Name:

To confirm your subscription, you must click on a link in the email being sent to you.

Each email contains an unsubscribe link. We will NEVER sell, rent, loan, or abuse your email address in ANY way.


Funny Quotes

 


All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.