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Let these funny Beats Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
The best slave does not need to be beaten. She beats herself.
- Erica Jong
I got a good mind to join a club
and beat you over the head with it.
- the Groucho Marx movie Duck Soup
The goal of life is
to make your heartbeat match the beat of the universe,
to match your nature with Nature.
- Joseph Campbell
March to the beat of your own drum.
- Proverb
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Build a better mousetrap
and the world will beat a path to your door.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Two souls with but a single thought,
Two hearts that beat as one.
- Friedrich Halm
Never mind what others do;
do better than yourself,
beat your own record from day to day,
and you are a success.
- William J. H. Boetcker
Only the united beat of sex and heart together can create ecstasy.
- Anais Nin
It's just a job. Grass grows, birds fly, waves pound the sand.
I beat people up.
- Muhammad Ali (world champion boxer)
Jesus said: "A man was going down from Jerusalem to Jericho,
when he fell into the hands of robbers.
They stripped him of his clothes, beat him
and went away, leaving him half dead.
A priest happened to be going down the same road,
and when he saw the man, he passed by on the other side.
So too, a Levite [religious leader],
when he came to the place and saw him,
passed by on the other side.
But a Samaritan [Samaritans and Jews generally disliked
and were suspicious of each other] came where the man was;
and when he saw him, he took pity on him.
He went to him and bandaged his wounds ... and ...
took him to an inn and took care of him. ...
Jesus [said] "Go and do likewise."
- Luke 10:25-37 (The Parable of the Good Samaritan)
If a man can... make a better mousetrap,
the world will make a beaten path to his door.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Towering genius disdains a beaten path.
It seeks regions hitherto unexplored.
- Abraham Lincoln
If you think you are beaten, you are.
If you think you dare not, you don't.
If you'd like to win, but think you can't
It's almost a cinch you won't.
Life's battles don't always go to the stronger or faster man;
But soon or late the man who wins is the one who thinks he can.
- Anonymous
Beating an opponent is not a goal,
but a by-product of success.
- John Wooden
It is for us to pray not for tasks equal to our powers,
but for powers equal to our tasks,
to go forward with a great desire forever beating at the door
of our hearts as we travel toward our distant goal.
- Helen Keller
The pursuit of truth does not permit violence on one's opponent.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Life is a constant opponent,
and an overpowering adversary if attacked directly.
The successful and happy ones dance lightly with life -
a parry here, a feint there - always engaged,
but never in the direct line of life's heaviest blows.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
If you stand up and be counted,
from time to time you may get yourself knocked down.
But remember this: A man flattened by an opponent can get up again.
A man flattened by conformity stays down for good.
- Thomas J. Watson
The pursuit of happiness is a most ridiculous phrase:
if you pursue happiness you'll never find it.
- C. P. Snow
Man falls from the pursuit of the ideal
of plain living and high thinking
the moment he wants to multiply his daily wants.
Man's happiness really lies in contentment.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
The pursuit of truth and beauty is a sphere of activity
in which we are permitted to remain children all our lives.
- Albert Einstein
Only he is successful in his business who makes that pursuit
which affords him the highest pleasure sustain him.
- Henry David Thoreau
We hold these truths to be self-evident:
that all men are created equal;
that they are endowed by their Creator
with certain unalienable rights;
that among these are life, liberty,
and the pursuit of happiness.
- Thomas Jefferson
From the way most people live,
one would never guess that humans are beings of free will.
Repetition can be a choice, but often it isn't.
The athlete or pianist who practices the same routine
day after day, year after year, has their eye on a goal.
The unending repetition is a conscious choice
in the pursuit of a life dream.
But what about the sameness of most lives?
Observe the morning commute, the after-work drink,
the Sunday football game or religious service -
how many of those people are consciously following their dream,
training their mind, body, and spirit through that daily repetition?
And how many are mindlessly slogging through each day
out of habit and boredom?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
For this generation, ours, life is nuclear survival,
liberty is human rights, the pursuit of happiness
is a planet whose resources are devoted
to the physical and spiritual nourishment of its inhabitants.
- Jimmy Carter
I was bold in the pursuit of knowledge,
never fearing to follow truth and reason
to whatever results they led,
and bearding every authority which stood in their way.
- Thomas Jefferson
It is a wonderful advantage to a man,
in every pursuit or avocation,
to secure an adviser in a sensible woman.
In woman there is at once a subtle delicacy of tact,
and a plain soundness of judgement,
which are rarely combined to an equal degree in man.
A woman, if she be really your friend,
will have a sensitive regard for your character, honor, repute.
She will seldom counsel you to do a shabby thing:
for a woman friend always desires to be proud of you.
- Edward Bulwer-Lytton
Happiness is a figment of the imagination.
Imagine happiness.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Happiness is a choice.
- Anonymous
Money won't make you happy...
but everybody wants to find out for themselves.
- Zig Ziglar
Joy is a choice - but it isn't an easy choice.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Stay Happy, never let anyone get your goat.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Thousands of candles can be lit from a single candle,
and the life of the candle will not be shortened.
Happiness never decreases by being shared.
- The Buddha
Happiness is the absence of the striving for happiness.
- Zhuangzi
This is your day to Laugh at Life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Happiness is having a scratch for every itch.
- Ogden Nash
Happiness is having a large, loving, caring,
close-knit family in another city.
- George Burns
Happiness depends upon ourselves.
- Aristotle
Laugh when you can,
apologize when you should,
and let go of what you can't change.
Life's too short to be anything... but happy.
- Anonymous
It isn't what you have, or who you are, or where you are,
or what you are doing that makes you happy or unhappy.
It is what you think about.
- Dale Carnegie
The purpose of our lives is to be happy.
- Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama
We all live with the objective of being happy;
our lives are all different and yet the same.
- Anne Frank
Simple living is the way to happy living.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Our Joy comes from living our own lives simply -
never from demanding that others live simply -
or from ever making any demands whatsoever upon others.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
No one is in control of your happiness but you;
therefore, you have the power to change anything
about yourself or your life that you want to change.
- Barbara De Angelis
I truly believe that happiness is possible...
even when you're thirty-three
and have a bottom the size of two bowling balls.
- the movie Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason
The only reason you suffer is because you choose to suffer.
The only reason you are happy is because you choose to be happy.
Happiness is a choice, and so is suffering.
- don Miguel Ruiz
No matter how dull, or how mean, or how wise a man is,
he feels that happiness is his indisputable right.
- Helen Keller
Some cause happiness wherever they go;
others whenever they go.
- Oscar Wilde
Happiness is the china shop; love is the bull.
- H. L. Mencken
Sanity and happiness are an impossible combination.
- Mark Twain
Some days are simply meant for playing.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Happiness is often the result of being too busy to be miserable.
- Anonymous
Happiness blooms
in the presence of self-respect,
and the absence of ego.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
You don't have the power to make life "fair,"
but you do have the power to make life joyful.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
What is happiness except the simple harmony
between a man and the life he leads?
- Albert Camus
Sometimes your joy is the source of your smile,
but sometimes your smile
can be the source of your joy.
- Thich Nhat Hanh
Happiness is nothing more than good health and a bad memory.
- Albert Schweitzer
If you want to be happy, be.
- Leo Tolstoy
There is no value in life except what you choose to place upon it
and no happiness in any place except what you bring to it yourself.
- Henry David Thoreau
Wealth, like happiness, is never attained when sought after directly.
It comes as a by-product of providing a useful service.
- Henry Ford
My greatest service to others is living happily,
and radiating happiness and joy to those around me.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Forgiving is not a gift to someone else.
Forgiving is your gift to yourself -
a great gift - the gift of happiness.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
There is only one way to happiness and that is to cease worrying
about things which are beyond the power of our will.
- Epictetus
Love is when the other person's happiness
is more important than your own.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
The key to success, and to happiness,
is being fully engaged in life -
leading yourself with inspiration and committed action -
setting your own fine and honorable example.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
As a happy person, you radiate happiness to the world.
Visualize your light radiating throughout the world,
passing from person to person until it encircles the globe.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The best remedy for those who are afraid, lonely or unhappy
is to go outside, somewhere where they can be quiet,
alone with the heavens, nature and God.
Because only then does one feel that all is as it should be.
- Anne Frank
There is only one happiness in life: to love and to be loved.
- George Sand
Money has never made man happy, nor will it,
there is nothing in its nature to produce happiness.
The more of it one has the more one wants.
- Benjamin Franklin
Happiness is a butterfly, which, when pursued,
is always just beyond your grasp,
but which, if you will sit down quietly,
may alight upon you.
- Nathaniel Hawthorne
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.