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Funny Universe Quotes
Funny Quotes about Universe

Let these funny Universe Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

To the mind that is still,
the whole universe surrenders.
- Lao Tzu

The time-traveling is just too dangerous.
Better that I devote myself to study
the other great mystery of the universe - women!
- the movie Back to the Future II

The four building blocks of the universe are fire,
water, gravel and vinyl.
- Dave Barry

Two things are infinite:
the universe and human stupidity;
and I'm not sure about the universe.
- Albert Einstein


 

Greetings, cosmic children of the universe.
Welcome to my serenity circle.
Please leave all bad vibes outside the healing vortex.
- the movie Shrek the Third (2007)

The most powerful force in the universe is: gossip.
- Dave Barry

If it's true that our species is alone in the universe,
then I'd have to say that the universe
aimed rather low and settled for very little.
- George Carlin


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Only two things are infinite,
the universe and human stupidity,
and I'm not sure about the former.
- Albert Einstein

The universe we observe has precisely
the properties we should expect
if there is, at bottom, no design,
no purpose, no evil, no good,
nothing but blind, pitiless indifference.
- Charles Darwin

Our honorable and worthy ancestors knew that the world was flat,
motionless, and the center of the universe.
They knew the human body could not withstand
the forces of traveling faster than 19 mph.
They knew that the way to salvation was
exorcising witches and slaying non-believers.
They knew that it was a mortal sin to marry
someone of a different skin color.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

A person is smart. People are dumb,
panicky dangerous animals and you know it.
Fifteen hundred years ago everybody knew
the Earth was the center of the universe.
Five hundred years ago,
everybody knew the Earth was flat,
and fifteen minutes ago,
you knew that humans were alone on this planet.
Imagine what you'll know tomorrow.
- the movie Men in Black

Miracles are the natural way of the Universe -
our only job is to move our doubting minds aside
and let the miracles flow.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The universe is full of magical things
patiently waiting for our wits to grow sharper.
- Eden Phillpotts

He who lives in harmony with himself
lives in harmony with the universe.
- Marcus Aurelius

Life is a mask through which the universe expresses itself.
- Frank Herbert

The moral arc of the universe
bends at the elbow of justice.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

The goal of life is
to make your heartbeat match the beat of the universe,
to match your nature with Nature.
- Joseph Campbell

We live in a spiritual Universe.
- Ernest Holmes

If we spend the time we waste in sighing
for the perfect golden fruit
in fulfilling the conditions of its growth,
happiness will come, must come.
It is guaranteed in the very laws of the universe.
If it involves some chastening and renunciation, well,
the fruit will be all the sweeter for this touch of holiness.
- Helen Keller

Music is a moral law.
It gives soul to the universe, wings to the mind,
flight to the imagination, and charm and gaiety to life and to everything.
- Plato

The natural state of motherhood is unselfishness.
When you become a mother, you are no longer the center of your own universe.
You relinquish that position to your children.
- Jessica Lange

All the energy of the universe is mine
to use as spirit directs.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

To discover joy is to return to
a state of oneness with the universe.
- Peggy Jenkins

The clearest way into the Universe is through a forest wilderness.
- John Muir

I look for what needs to be done.
After all, that's how the universe designs itself.
- R. Buckminster Fuller

The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere
in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us.
- Bill Watterson

I am so honored that the Power of the Universe
has chosen for me to be ME.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The universe is wider than our views of it.
- Henry David Thoreau

Know that miracles are the natural way of the Universe
Your only job is to move your doubting mind out of the way.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

We can allow satellites, planets, suns, universe,
nay whole systems of universes, to be governed by laws,
but the smallest insect, we wish
to be created at once by special act.
- Charles Darwin

Gratitude in advance is the most powerful
creative force in the universe.
- Neale Donald Walsch

The mind of man is continuously unfolding
into a greater recognition of its real plan
in the creative order of the Universe.
- Ernest Holmes

I want to put a ding in the universe.
- Steve Jobs

The cathedral of my God of no church
is the entirety of the universe.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

It is well to remember that the
entire population of the universe,
with one trifling exception, is composed of others.
- Andrew J. Holmes

Nothing in the universe can travel at the speed of light,
they say, forgetful of the shadow's speed.
- Howard Nemerov

I am one with the power and wisdom of the Universe.
I have all that I need.
- Louise L. Hay

That deep emotional conviction of the presence
of a superior reasoning power, which is revealed
in the incomprehensible universe, forms my idea of God.
- Albert Einstein

There was no "before" the beginning of our universe,
because once upon a time there was no time.
- John D. Barrow

In our willingness to give that which we seek,
we keep the abundance of the universe circulating in our lives.
- Deepak Chopra

The manifest universe is the body of God ...
all people are incarnations of the One Spirit.
- Ernest Holmes

In order to make an apple pie from scratch,
you must first invent the universe.
- Carl Sagan

When prayer removes distrust and doubt
and enters the field of mental certainty,
it becomes faith; and the universe is built on faith.
- Ernest Holmes

As you simplify your life,
the laws of the universe will be simpler;
solitude will not be solitude,
poverty will not be poverty,
nor weakness weakness.
- Henry David Thoreau

You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe,
deserves your love and affection.
- The Buddha

When we try to pick out anything by itself,
we find it hitched to everything else in the universe.
- John Muir

We live in a spiritual Universe.
God is in, through, around and for us.
- Ernest Holmes

Once you make a decision, the universe conspires to make it happen.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

We are just an advanced breed of monkeys
on a minor planet of a very average star.
But we can understand the Universe.
That makes us something very special.
- Stephen Hawking

Music in the soul can be heard by the universe.
- Lao Tzu

A mind at peace, a mind centered
and not focused on harming others,
is stronger than any physical force in the universe.
- Wayne Dyer

The universe must exist for the self-expression
of God and the delight of God.
- Ernest Holmes

The effort to understand the universe is one
of the very few things that lifts human life
a little above the level of farce,
and gives it some of the grace of tragedy.
- Steven Weinberg

The Universe is one great kindergarten for man.
Everything that exists has brought
with it its own peculiar lesson.
- Orison Swett Marden

Know thyself, and thou shalt know the Universe and God.
- Pythagoras

I find hope in the darkest of days,
and focus in the brightest.
I do not judge the universe.
- Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama

The sun, with all those planets revolving around it and dependent on it,
can still ripen a bunch of grapes as if it had nothing
else in the universe to do.
- Galileo Galilei

It is impossible to imagine the universe run by a wise,
just and omnipotent God, but it is quite easy to imagine
it run by a board of gods.
- H. L. Mencken

Mind exists as a Principle in the universe,
just as electricity exists as a principle.
- Ernest Holmes

Humor is just another defense against the universe.
- Mel Brooks

There is a power for good in the universe
greater than you are and you can use it.
- Ernest Holmes

There is no chance and anarchy in the universe.
All is system and gradation.
Every god is there sitting in his sphere.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

We are all connected to everyone and everything in the universe.
Therefore, everything one does as an individual affects the whole.
All thoughts, words, images, prayers, blessings,
and deeds are listened to by all that is.
- Serge Kahili King

Just what future the Designer of the universe has provided
for the souls of men I do not know,
I cannot prove.
But I find that the whole order of Nature confirms my confidence that,
if it is not like our noblest hopes and dreams,
it will transcend them.
- Henry Norris Russell

Gratitude is an attitude that
hooks us up to our source of supply.
And the more grateful you are,
the closer you become to your maker,
to the architect of the universe,
to the spiritual core of your being.
- Bob Proctor

There is an orderliness in the universe,
there is an unalterable law governing everything
and every being that exists or lives.
It is no blind law; for no blind law can govern
the conduct of living beings.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Release your burdens - your fears, regrets,
guilts, shames, embarrassments, angers.
One by one, pick up each memory or fear that troubles you,
hold it close, and release it to the Universe.
Release each incident from your past that still bothers you.
Release each fear - your fears about your health,
your family, your job, and every other fear.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

When you are tempted to judge,
may you be reminded that we are ALL ONE,
and that every thought you think reverberates
across the universe touching everyone and everything.
- from the Simple Truths movie May You Be Blessed

I'm concentrating on staying healthy,
having peace, being happy, remembering what is important,
taking in nature and animals, spending time reading,
trying to understand the universe, where science and the spiritual meet.
- Joan Jett

When we contemplate the whole globe as one great dewdrop,
striped and dotted with continents and islands,
flying through space with other stars
all singing and shining together as one,
the whole universe appears as an infinite storm of beauty.
- John Muir

New Year's eve is like every other night;
there is no pause in the march of the universe,
no breathless moment of silence among created things
that the passage of another twelve months may be noted;
and yet no man has quite the same thoughts this evening
that come with the coming of darkness on other nights.
- Hamilton Wright Mabie


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- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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