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Funny Quotes about Life
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Funny Need Quotes
Funny Quotes about Need

Let these funny Need Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

Sometimes we need the fog to remind ourselves
that all of life is not black and white.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Don't expect me to get excited over
another damn thing we need to find.
- Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1 (2010)

I have faith. I just need proof to back it up.
- the movie Simon Birch

Older people shouldn't eat health food,
they need all the preservatives they can get.
- Robert Orben


 

A word to the wise ain't necessary -
it's the stupid ones that need the advice.
- Bill Cosby

I don't need you to remind me of my age.
I have a bladder to do that for me.
- Stephen Fry

There are only three things women need in life:
food,
water, and compliments.
- Chris Rock


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I feel the need to express something,
but I don't know what it is I want to express.
- the movie Interiors

I personally think we developed language
because of our deep need to complain.
- Lily Tomlin

Advertising is the art of convincing people to spend money
they don't have for something they don't need.
- Will Rogers

All you need is love.
But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt.
- Charles M. Schulz

Advice is seldom welcome,
and those who need it the most, like it the least.
- Lord Chesterfield

Remember, if you ever need a helping hand,
you'll find one at the end of your arm.
- Audrey Hepburn

My life is difficult. I need more money.
- the movie The Expendables (2010)

Politicians and diapers need to be changed regularly,
usually for the same reason.
- Anonymous

A bank is a place that will lend you money
if you can prove that you don't need it.
- Bob Hope

Faced with the choice between changing one's mind
and proving that there is no need to do so,
almost everyone gets busy on the proof.
- John Kenneth Galbraith

Whenever I feel the need to exercise,
I lie down until it goes away.
- Robert Maynard Hutchins

Oh, you weak, beautiful people
who give up with such grace.
What you need is someone to take hold of you -
gently, with love, and hand your life back to you.
- Tennessee Williams

All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence;
then success is sure.
- Mark Twain

My rule of life prescribed as an absolutely sacred rite
smoking cigars and also the drinking of alcohol
before, after and if need be during all meals
and in the intervals between them.
- Winston Churchill

I do not need anyone's permission to be my true self.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I say NO to the demands of the world.
I say YES to the longings of my own heart.
There is nothing I ever need to have.
There is nothing I ever need to do.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Listen to the compass of your heart.
All you need lies within you.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

The Ought-To Need-To Tango:
I am racked with the guilt and the pain of I should,
and I ought, and I can't, but I must.
I can't rest; I can't sleep; I'm just not understood,
and I hate that the world is unjust.
I have work; I have woes; I have troubles for life;
but I don't have a ME that I trust.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Stand Tall, Stand Proud.
Know that you are unique and magnificent.
You do not need the approval of others.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

You do not need anyone's permission to be your true self.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Love me when I least deserve it,
because that's when I really need it.
- Swedish Proverb

"Hurry up" ranks right up there with "you need to"
as a destroyer of our humanity.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If anyone has material possessions and sees his brother in need
but has no pity on him, how can the love of God be in him?
- 1 John 3:17

Whatever you do, you need courage.
Whatever course you decide upon,
there is always someone to tell you
that you are wrong.
There are always difficulties arising
that tempt you to believe your critics are right.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Parting is all we know of heaven, and all we need of hell.
- Emily Dickinson

Unlike grown-ups, children have little need to deceive themselves.
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Work like you don't need the money.
Love like you've never been hurt.
Dance like nobody's watching.
- Satchel Paige

The problems of the world cannot possibly
be solved by skeptics or cynics
whose horizons are limited by the obvious realities.
We need men who can dream of things that never were.
- John F. Kennedy

We humans feel an instinctive need to know
what is coming next - what we can count upon.
We fear change - even the most positive change.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Today is a day to cover your best weapons in velvet.
Go gently into the world.
Hold your anger.
Keep your competitive spirit in check.
Some day you will need your fierce weapons,
but not today.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Farewell My Friend
It was beautiful as long as it lasted
The journey of my life.
I have no regrets whatsoever
save the pain I'll leave behind.
Those dear hearts who love and care...
And the strings pulling at the heart and soul...
The strong arms that held me up
When my own strength let me down.
At every turning of my life
I came across good friends,
Friends who stood by me,
Even when the time raced me by.
Farewell, farewell my friends
I smile and bid you goodbye.
No, shed no tears for I need them not
All I need is your smile.
If you feel sad do think of me
for that's what I'll like
when you live in the hearts
of those you love, remember then
you never die.
- Gitanjali Ghei

We disrespect ourselves and our free-will
whenever we say that we NEED to do something.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

You can't learn everything you need to know legally.
- John Irving

Everything I need will be manifested.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Being human, we are imperfect. That's why we need each other.
To catch each other when we falter.
To encourage each other when we lose heart.
Some may lead; others may follow; but none of us can go it alone.
- Hilary Clinton

Man lives freely only by his readiness to die, if need be,
at the hands of his brother, never by killing him.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

One measure of friendship consists
not in the number of things friends can discuss,
but in the number of things they need no longer mention.
- Clifton Fadiman

The secret of success is to find a need and fill it,
to find a hurt and heal it,
to find somebody with a problem
and offer to help solve it.
- Robert H. Schuller

If you have ideas, you have the main asset you need,
and there isn't any limit to what you can do with your business and your life.
Ideas are any man's greatest asset.
- Harvey S. Firestone

You don't need anybody to tell you
who you are or what you are.
You are what you are!
- John Lennon

America's present need is not heroics but healing;
not nostrums but normalcy; not revolution but restoration.
- Warren G. Harding

When you feel the need to hurry,
remember that everything in life is a CHOICE.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

We need to become good citizens in the global village,
instead of competing.
What are we competing for - to drive more cars,
eat more steaks? That will destroy the world.
- Yuan T. Lee

Three-quarters of the sicknesses of intelligent people
come from their intelligence.
They need at least a doctor who can understand this sickness.
- Marcel Proust

It is not light that we need, but fire;
it is not the gentle shower,
but thunder.
We need the storm, the whirlwind, and the earthquake.
- Frederick Douglass

All you need is love.
- John Lennon

I haven't got any special religion this morning.
My God is the God of Walkers.
If you walk hard enough,
you probably don't need any other god.
- Bruce Chatwin

Make your important choices in life
based on your values and your long-term objectives
rather than on a need for approval.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I am certainly not one of those who need to be prodded.
In fact, if anything, I am the prod.
- Winston Churchill

Innocence isn't ever lost completely;
we just need to maintain our goodness to regain it.
- Jewel

We're constantly striving for success, fame and comfort
when all we really need to be happy
is someone or some thing to be enthusiastic about.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

Only in our dreams are we free.
The rest of the time we need wages.
- Terry Pratchett

Your children need your presence
more than your presents.
- Jesse Jackson

Music's not like becoming a doctor, who can walk into
a community and find people who need him.
- Charlie Byrd

We act as though comfort and luxury
were the chief requirements of life,
when all that we need to make us really happy
is something to be enthusiastic about.
- Charles Kingsley

Nothing is missing - Lack is an illusion.
We always have everything we truly need.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

There is no need for temples,
no need for complicated philosophies.
My brain and my heart are my temples;
my philosophy is kindness.
- Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama

Be grateful for the home you have, knowing that at this moment,
all you have is all you need.
- Sarah Ban Breathnach

I don't need plastic in my body to validate me as a woman.
- Courtney Love

Many people allow their need
for other people's approval to control their lives.
They spend their lives worrying about what others think of them.
- Rick Warren

There is nothing I ever need to have.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

All you need is love, love. Love is all you need.
- The Beatles

Look at this butterfly, so beautiful, so delicate.
I can enjoy this butterfly from a distance,
but if I touched her, she would die.
While not quite as delicate as butterflies,
people also need private space and private time
away from the demands of the world -
even away from the attentions of those
with whom they are most bonded.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Personally, I need a high level of physical fitness
in order to feel at ease.
- Jurgen Klinsmann


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May the world be kind to you,
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- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.