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Let these funny Drum Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
Set Life's Rhythm with Your Heart-Drum
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Today is your day to paint life in bold colors;
set today's rhythm with your heart-drum;
walk today's march with courage;
create today as your celebration of life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie 
March to the beat of your own drum.
- Proverb
Today is my day to paint in bold colors,
set today's rhythm with my heart-drum,
walk today's march with courage,
create today as my celebration of life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
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I set today's life-rhythm with my heart-drum.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
If a man does not keep pace with his companions,
perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer.
- Henry David Thoreau
If a man loses pace with his companions,
perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer.
Let him step to the music which he hears,
however measured or far away.
- Henry David Thoreau
Why should we be in such desperate haste to succeed,
and in such desperate enterprises?
If a man does not keep pace with his companions,
perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer.
- Henry David Thoreau
Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits
and then complain that he's not the man she married?
- Barbra Streisand
A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
- W. C. Fields
A man wrapped up in himself makes a very small bundle.
- Benjamin Franklin
Don't marry a man to reform him -
that's what reform schools are for.
- Mae West
A man is incomplete until he is married.
After that, he is finished.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.
- Ogden Nash
I care not much for a man's religion
whose dog and cat are not the better for it.
- Abraham Lincoln
Getting divorced just because you don't love a man
is almost as silly as getting married just because you do.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
One cannot have everything the way he would like it.
A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment,
anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.
- Mark Twain
No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous
There are two times when a man doesn't understand a woman -
before marriage and after marriage.
- Anonymous
A man is a fool if he drinks before he reaches the age of 50,
and a fool if he doesn't afterward.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
A man's friendships are, like his will,
invalidated by marriage -
but they are also no less invalidated
by the marriage of his friends.
- Samuel Butler
Marriages don't last. When I meet a guy,
the first question I ask myself is:
is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?
- Rita Rudner
He's the kind of man a woman would have to marry to get rid of.
- Mae West
You never really know a man until you have divorced him.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
Afraid? Me? A man who's licked
his weight in wild caterpillars?
Afraid? You bet I'm afraid!
- Groucho Marx
Give a man one rabbit, and he will eat for a day;
give a man two rabbits, and he will
feed his family and his neighbors
and return you 64,768 rabbits in change.
- Anonymous
In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland
A man likes his wife to be
just clever enough to appreciate his cleverness,
and just stupid enough to admire it.
- Israel Zangwill
Men always want to be a woman's first love -
women like to be a man's last romance.
- Oscar Wilde
Do not marry a man to reform him.
That is what reform schools are for.
- Mae West
One man's theology is another man's belly laugh.
- Robert A. Heinlein
It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks.
She's not marrying the best man.
- Anonymous
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend.
Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
- Groucho Marx
I am a man of fixed and unbending principles,
the first of which is to be flexible at all times.
- Everett Dirksen
You can lead a man to Congress,
but you can't make him think.
- Milton Berle
Whenever I date a guy, I think,
"Is this the man I want my children
to spend their weekends with?"
- Rita Rudner
Barf: I'm a mog: half man, half dog. I'm my own best friend!
- the movie Spaceballs (1987)
A cynic is a man who knows the price of everything
and the value of nothing.
- Oscar Wilde
Never stir up litigation.
A worse man can scarcely be found than one who does this.
- Abraham Lincoln
If it keeps up, man will atrophy
all his limbs but the push-button finger.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
Every man prefers belief to the exercise of judgment.
- Lucius Annaeus Seneca
A little girl at the wedding afterwards asked her mother
why the bride changed her mind.
What do you mean? responded her mother.
Well, she went down the aisle with one man,
and came back with another.
- Anonymous
Mr. Attlee is a very modest man.
Indeed he has a lot to be modest about.
- Winston Churchill
I would never want to be a member of a group
whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood.
- George Carlin
Stay hopeless and confused. Keep polishing those skills.
- the movie When a Man Loves a Woman (1994)
Confused Memories of Childhood:
Hate to my father, cruel hate,
confused with love - a mix not great.
The man I love - the man I hate;
the man I want to emulate.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The man who reads nothing at all
is better educated than the man who reads nothing but newspapers.
- Thomas Jefferson
I know that God made the whole world in 4004 BC.
I know because my preacher told me. He's a good man.
He's even saving up all the money we give him
to go to bible college someday.
- Anonymous Humor
Man can hardly even recognize the devils of his own creation.
- Albert Schweitzer
The civilized man has built a coach,
but has lost the use of his feet.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Man's nature is not essentially evil.
Brute nature has been known to
yield to the influence of love.
You must never despair of human nature.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
God must love the common man, he made so many of them.
- Abraham Lincoln
A benevolent man should allow a few faults in himself,
to keep his friends in countenance.
- Benjamin Franklin
A conservative is a man who is
too cowardly to fight and too fat to run.
- Elbert Hubbard
Adventure is not outside man; it is within.
- George Eliot
I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man,
and I hate people like that!
- Tom Lehrer
Every man thinks God is on his side.
- Jean Anouilh
The man of science is a poor philosopher.
- Albert Einstein
The man who does not read good books
has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
- Mark Twain
It appears to be a law that you cannot have
a deep sympathy with both man and nature.
- Henry David Thoreau
If you can not answer a man's argument,
all is not lost; you can still call him vile names.
- Elbert Hubbard
The man who says he is willing to meet you halfway
is usually a poor judge of distance.
- Laurence J. Peter
Books serve to show a man
that those original thoughts of his
aren't very new at all.
- Abraham Lincoln
A man can't be too careful in the choice of enemies.
- Oscar Wilde
The savage in man is never quite eradicated.
- Henry David Thoreau
The power of man has grown in every sphere, except over himself.
- Winston Churchill
Many a man owes his success to his first wife
and his second wife to his success.
- Jim Backus
One man's "magic" is another man's engineering.
"Supernatural" is a null word.
- Robert A. Heinlein
Man tends to treat all of his opinions as principles.
- Herbert Sebastian Agar
A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers,
looks around for a coffin.
- H. L. Mencken
Blessed is the man who, having nothing to say,
abstains from giving us wordy evidence of the fact.
- George Eliot
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.