Facebook share Tweet This Email this
If we are not happy and joyous at this season,
for what other season shall we wait and
for what other time shall we look?
- Abdul-Baha
Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits
and then complain that he's not the man she married?
- Barbra Streisand
Live life on the edge, not with an edge.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
It's not the size of the dog in the fight,
it's the size of the fight in the dog.
- Mark Twain
Get a Funny Quote of the Day each day by email or in your feed reader.
Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer
If you are not one of us, you are one of them.
- the movie The Matrix (1999)
"It's not that important,
don't worry about it" is the answer,
now what was the question?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous
If at first you don't succeed,
skydiving is not for you.
- Anonymous
It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks.
She's not marrying the best man.
- Anonymous
Yeah I called her up. She gave me a bunch of ...
about me not listening to her, or something.
I don't know, I wasn't really paying attention.
- the movie Dumb & Dumber (1994)
Yield to temptation. It may not pass your way again.
- Robert A. Heinlein
Marriage is a fine institution -
but I'm not ready for an institution yet.
- Mae West
One does not leave a convivial party before closing time.
- Winston Churchill
In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland
Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for.
- Will Rogers
I'm not used to feeling so human.
Is it always like this?
- Edward, from Twilight Saga by Stephenie Meyer
The key is, to not think of death as an end,
but as more of a very effective way to cut down on your expenses.
- the movie Love and Death
It's not the men in your life that counts,
it's the life in your men.
- Mae West, in the movie I'm No Angel
When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain.
- Mark Twain
Do not marry a man to reform him.
That is what reform schools are for.
- Mae West
Two things are infinite:
the universe and human stupidity;
and I'm not sure about the universe.
- Albert Einstein
The most important words in the English language
are not "I love you" but "It's benign."
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
I'm not talking about lust.
A woman in lust wants chocolate.
A woman in love wants diamonds.
- the movie How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
Personally, I'm always ready to learn,
although I do not always like being taught.
- Winston Churchill
DON'T get officious.
You're not yourself when you're officious -
That is the curse of a government job.
- the movie Harold and Maude (1971)
I care not much for a man's religion
whose dog and cat are not the better for it.
- Abraham Lincoln
Never argue at the dinner table, for the one who is not hungry
always gets the best of the argument.
- Voltaire
I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.
- Anonymous
Women marry men hoping they will change.
Men marry women hoping they will not.
- Albert Einstein
Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.
- Albert Einstein
Mr. President, I'm not saying we wouldn't get our hair mussed.
But I do say no more than ten to twenty million killed, tops.
Uh, depending on the breaks.
- the movie Dr. Strangelove
Damn it boss, I like you too much not to say it.
You've got everything except one thing: madness!
- the movie Zorba The Greek
Am I not destroying my enemies
when I make friends of them?
- Abraham Lincoln
There is no pleasure in having nothing to do;
the fun is in having lots to do and not doing it.
- Mary Wilson Little
It is only the poor who pay cash,
and that not from virtue,
but because they are refused credit.
- Anatole France
Faith: not wanting to know what is true.
- Friedrich Nietzsche
Only two things are infinite,
the universe and human stupidity,
and I'm not sure about the former.
- Albert Einstein
There is no use whatsoever trying to help
people who do not help themselves.
You cannot push anyone up a ladder
unless he is willing to climb himself.
- Andrew Carnegie
A ship in harbor is safe -
but that is not what ships are for.
- John A. Shedd
The trouble with the world is not
that people know too little,
but that they know so many things that ain't so.
- Mark Twain
When I want to be bold about my movement ...
I for sure do not call it exercise!
- Mary Anne Radmacher
The holy passion of Friendship is of so sweet
and steady and loyal and enduring a nature
that it will last through a whole lifetime,
if not asked to lend money.
- Mark Twain
Ending a sentence with a preposition is
something up with which I will not put.
- Winston Churchill
Though I am a servant, I am not your servant.
- Ursula K. Le Guin
I think that there is nothing, not even crime,
more opposed to poetry, to philosophy, ay, to life itself
than this incessant business.
- Henry David Thoreau
Although personally I am quite content with existing explosives,
I feel we must not stand in the path of improvement.
- Winston Churchill
Life is never fair, and perhaps it is a good thing
for most of us that it is not.
- Oscar Wilde
The wine of youth does not always
clear with advancing years;
sometimes it grows turbid.
- Carl Jung
I once had a rose named after me
and I was very flattered.
But I was not pleased to read
the description in the catalogue:
no good in a bed, but fine up against a wall.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth
until the hour of separation.
- Khalil Gibran
The only advantage of not being too good a housekeeper
is that your guests are so pleased
to feel how very much better they are.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
Delusion: belief said to be false by someone who does not share it.
- Thomas Szasz
The objection to Puritans is not that
they try to make us think as they do,
but that they try to make us do as they think.
- H. L. Mencken
It's not much of a tail, but I'm sort of attached to it.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)
Contrary to general belief,
I do not believe that friends are necessarily
the people you like best,
they are merely the people who got there first.
- Peter Ustinov
The man who does not read good books
has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
- Mark Twain
A positive attitude may not solve all your problems,
but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.
- Herm Albright
It's not very heroic to slay dragons.
Dragons are generally very peaceful and well behaved.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Confused Memories of Childhood:
Hate to my father, cruel hate,
confused with love - a mix not great.
The man I love - the man I hate;
the man I want to emulate.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our Light, not our Darkness, that most frightens us.
- Marianne Williamson
It's not clutter, it's my unique filing system.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I do not believe in using women in combat,
because females are too fierce.
- Margaret Mead
Do not take life too seriously.
You will never get out of it alive.
- Elbert Hubbard
Man's nature is not essentially evil.
Brute nature has been known to
yield to the influence of love.
You must never despair of human nature.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man,
and I hate people like that!
- Tom Lehrer
My advice to you is get married:
if you find a good wife you'll be happy;
if not, you'll become a philosopher.
- Socrates
Belief is not the beginning but the end of all knowledge.
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
Do not speak to me of rules.
This is war! This is not a game of cricket!
- from the movie The Bridge On The River Kwai
Do not bite at the bait of pleasure,
till you know there is no hook beneath it.
- Thomas Jefferson
A loyal friend laughs at your jokes
when they're not so good,
and sympathizes with your problems
when they're not so bad.
- Arnold H. Glasgow
Thank you for visiting: If we are not happy and joyous at this season, by Abdul-Baha.
Please sign up on the form below to receive
my Free Daily Inspiration - Daily Quotes email.
You can also search my large collection of Funny Quotes.
May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.