Enter one or two keywords to search these Funny Quotes.

Hint: keep it simple, like life twain



Facebook share   Tweet This   Email this

Funny Quotes about Life
Funny Quotes about Life | Funny Love Quotes | Links | About
Search:   A-   B-   Ca-   Co-   D-   E-   F-   G-   H-    I-    J-K-L   M-   N-O   Pa-   Pr-   Q-R   Sa-   Sk-   T-   U-V-W-X-Y-Z


Get a Humorous, Yet Insightful, Quote of the Day each day by email.
Follow funny-quotes-life.com by Email:


All men and women are born, live, suffer and die;
by Joseph Epstein

All men and women are born, live, suffer and die;
what distinguishes us one from another is our dreams,
whether they be dreams about worldly or unworldly things,
and what we do to make them come about.
We do not choose to be born.
We do not choose our parents.
We do not choose our historical epoch,
the country of our birth,
or the immediate circumstances of our upbringing.
We do not, most of us, choose to die;
nor do we choose the time and conditions of our death.
But within this realm of choicelessness, we do choose how we live.
- Joseph Epstein

Women want mediocre men,
and men are working to be as mediocre as possible.
- Margaret Mead

A man likes his wife to be
just clever enough to appreciate his cleverness,
and just stupid enough to admire it.
- Israel Zangwill

Women marry men hoping they will change.
Men marry women hoping they will not.
- Albert Einstein


Get a Funny Quote of the Day each day by email or in your feed reader.

 Subscribe in a reader -- or
Enter your email address:




Delivered by FeedBurner


Men always want to be a woman's first love -
women like to be a man's last romance.
- Oscar Wilde

Here's a toast to your new bride who has everything a girl
could want in her life, except for good taste in men.
- Anonymous

It's not the men in your life that counts,
it's the life in your men.
- Mae West, in the movie I'm No Angel


 

Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition.
- Marilyn Monroe

The greatest deception men suffer is from their own opinions.
- Leonardo da Vinci

Few men have virtue to withstand the highest bidder.
- George Washington

She's been diagnosed as a paranoid hypochondriac.
Doctors think she may be faking.
- the movie Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid

In critical moments men sometimes see
exactly what they wish to see.
- the character Spock of the television series Star Trek

Force always attracts men of low morality.
- Albert Einstein

Men have become the tools of their tools.
- Henry David Thoreau

In every society some men are born to rule,
and some to advise.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

History teaches us that men and nations behave wisely
only after they have exhausted all other alternatives.
- Abba Eban

If God listened to the prayers of men,
all men would quickly have perished:
for they are forever praying for evil against one another.
- Epicurus

It has always been a mystery to me
how men can feel themselves honored
by the humiliation of their fellow beings.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Our scientific power has outrun our spiritual power.
We have guided missiles and misguided men.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

I begin with the principle that all men are bores.
Surely no one will prove himself
so great a bore as to contradict me in this.
- Soren Kierkegaard

It is an interesting question how far men
would retain their relative rank
if they were divested of their clothes.
- Henry David Thoreau

My plan was to kiss her with every lip on my face.
- the movie Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid

The means by which we live have outdistanced
the ends for which we live.
Our scientific power has outrun our spiritual power.
We have guided missiles and misguided men.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Thank God men cannot fly, and lay waste
the sky as well as the earth.
- Henry David Thoreau

Most men lead lives of quiet desperation
and go to the grave with the song still in them.
- Henry David Thoreau

I don't advise a haircut, man.
All hairdressers are in the employment of the government.
Hairs are your aerials.
They pick up signals from the cosmos,
and transmit them directly into the brain.
This is the reason bald-headed men are uptight.
- the movie Withnail & I

I think men who have a pierced ear
are better prepared for marriage.
They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
- Rita Rudner

Tolerance is the first principle of community;
it is the spirit which conserves
the best that all men think.
- Helen Keller

When It's Darkest, Men See the Stars.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

While civilization has been improving our houses,
it has not equally improved
the men who are to inhabit them.
It has created palaces, but it was
not so easy to create noblemen and kings.
- Henry David Thoreau

The only thing necessary for evil to triumph
is for enough good men to do nothing.
- Edmund Burke

Nearly all men can stand adversity,
but if you want to test a man's character, give him power.
- Abraham Lincoln

Who never walks save where he sees
men's tracks, makes no discoveries.
- J. G. Holland

I look only to the good qualities of men.
Not being faultless myself,
I won't presume to probe into the faults of others.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

The revelation of thought takes men
out of servitude into freedom.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

The problems of the world cannot possibly
be solved by skeptics or cynics
whose horizons are limited by the obvious realities.
We need men who can dream of things that never were.
- John F. Kennedy

Every kind of peaceful cooperation among men
is primarily based on mutual trust
and only secondarily on institutions
such as courts of justice and police.
- Albert Einstein

The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation.
- Henry David Thoreau

We who lived in concentration camps can remember the men
who walked through the huts comforting others,
giving away their last piece of bread...
They offer sufficient proof that everything
can be taken from a man but one thing:
to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances,
to choose one's own way.
- Viktor E. Frankl

My heart bleeds at the death of every one of our gallant men.
- Robert E. Lee

It is not work that kills men; it is worry.
Worry is rust upon the blade.
- Henry Ward Beecher

One machine can do the work of fifty ordinary men.
No machine can do the work of one extraordinary man.
- Elbert Hubbard

It takes time to persuade men to do even
what is for their own good.
- Thomas Jefferson

A person is smart. People are dumb,
panicky dangerous animals and you know it.
Fifteen hundred years ago everybody knew
the Earth was the center of the universe.
Five hundred years ago,
everybody knew the Earth was flat,
and fifteen minutes ago,
you knew that humans were alone on this planet.
Imagine what you'll know tomorrow.
- the movie Men in Black

Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully
as when they do it from religious conviction.
- Blaise Pascal

There is a good ear, in some men,
that draws supplies to virtue
out of very indifferent nutriment.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Most men pursue pleasure with such breathless haste
that they hurry past it.
- Soren Kierkegaard

More men fail through lack of purpose than lack of talent.
- Billy Sunday

All free men, wherever they may live, are citizens of Berlin.
And therefore, as a free man, I take pride
in the words "Ich bin ein Berliner!"
- John F. Kennedy

All men are children, and of one family.
The same tale sends them all to bed,
and wakes them in the morning.
- Henry David Thoreau

The slavery of fear had made men afraid to think.
But such is the irresistible nature of truth,
that all it asks, and all it wants, is the liberty of appearing.
- Thomas Paine, Rights of Man, 1791

Wise men put their trust in ideas
and not in circumstances
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Behind an able man there are always other able men.
- Chinese proverb

The expert in battle seeks his victory
from strategic advantage
and does not demand it from his men.
- Sun Tzu

Republicans are men of narrow vision,
who are afraid of the future.
- Jimmy Carter

Security is mostly a superstition.
It does not exist in nature,
nor do the children of men as a whole experience it.
Avoiding danger is no safer
in the long run than outright exposure.
Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing.
- Helen Keller

In the long run, men hit only what they aim at.
Therefore, they had better aim at something high.
- Henry David Thoreau

Men love to wonder, and that is the seed of science.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

The price of apathy towards public affairs
is to be ruled by evil men.
- Plato

How could man rejoice in victory
and delight in the slaughter of men?
- Lao Tzu

I have no fear that the result of our experiment
will be that men may be trusted to
govern themselves without a master.
- Thomas Jefferson

Men kick friendship around like a football,
but it doesn't seem to crack.
Women treat it like glass and it goes to pieces.
- Anne Morrow Lindbergh

Employ your time in improving yourself by other men's writings,
so that you shall gain easily what others have labored hard for.
- Socrates

Men are disturbed not by things,
but by the view which they take of them.
- Epictetus

I do not believe in a fate that
falls on men however they act;
but I do believe in a fate
that falls on them unless they act.
- The Buddha

The difference between men friends and women friends
is that men tend to do things together,
women tend to just be together.
- Art Jahnke

The history of free men is never really written by chance
but by choice; their choice!
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

Men and women are not prisoners of fate,
but only prisoners of their own minds.
- Franklin D. Roosevelt

Men have a respect for scholarship and learning
greatly out of proportion to the use they commonly serve.
- Henry David Thoreau

Trust men and they will be true to you;
treat them greatly and they will show themselves great.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

When men are easy in their circumstances,
they are naturally enemies to innovations.
- Joseph Addison


Thank you for visiting: All men and women are born, live, suffer and die; by Joseph Epstein.

Please sign up on the form below to receive
my Free Daily Inspiration - Daily Quotes email.

You can also search my large collection of Funny Quotes.

May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


Funny Quotes

 


All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.