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Let these funny Epoch Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
All men and women are born, live, suffer and die;
what distinguishes us one from another is our dreams,
whether they be dreams about worldly or unworldly things,
and what we do to make them come about.
We do not choose to be born.
We do not choose our parents.
We do not choose our historical epoch,
the country of our birth,
or the immediate circumstances of our upbringing.
We do not, most of us, choose to die;
nor do we choose the time and conditions of our death.
But within this realm of choicelessness, we do choose how we live.
- Joseph Epstein
In individuals, insanity is rare;
but in groups, parties, nations and epochs,
it is the rule.
- Friedrich Nietzsche
I love and treasure individuals as I meet them;
I loathe and despise the groups
they identify with and belong to.
- George Carlin
We work with the people not out of pity
but out of respect for their potential for growth and development,
both as individuals and as communities.
- Jimmy Yen
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Human progress is neither automatic nor inevitable...
Every step toward the goal of justice
requires sacrifice, suffering, and struggle;
the tireless exertions and
passionate concern of dedicated individuals.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
Every experiment, by multitudes or by individuals,
that has a sensual and selfish aim, will fail.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
What is true of the individual will be
tomorrow true of the whole nation
if individuals will but refuse to lose heart and hope.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
My vision of a real humanity is of pure individuals
relating to each other, but not tied in any relationship.
They will be loving to each other,
but not being possessive of each other.
They will be sharing with each other
all their joys and all their blessings,
but never even in their dreams thinking of dominating,
thinking of enslaving the other person.
- Osho (Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh)
Manage through the uncertainties.
Practice appropriate actions and participate in healthy choices.
Value and celebrate the loyalty of the individuals around you:
celebrate their competencies and successes, as well as your own.
Build up your circle and reinforce it at every opportunity.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Love conquers all things except poverty and a toothache.
- Mae West
Love is an irresistible desire
to be irresistibly desired.
- Robert Frost
The first sigh of love is the last breath of wisdom.
- Anonymous
Love is like an hourglass,
with the heart filling up as the brain empties.
- Jules Renard
Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop.
- H. L. Mencken
In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland
Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter
quite like unrequited love.
- Charlie Brown in Charles M. Schulz' Peanuts comic
Men always want to be a woman's first love -
women like to be a man's last romance.
- Oscar Wilde
Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another.
- H. L. Mencken
I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner
Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
- H. L. Mencken
Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.
- Albert Einstein
A honeymoon should be like a table:
four bare legs and no drawers.
- Anonymous
Love thy neighbor -
and if he happens to be tall,
debonair and devastating,
it will be that much easier.
- Mae West
Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth
until the hour of separation.
- Khalil Gibran
Love is what makes two people
sit in the middle of a park bench
when there is plenty of room at both ends.
- Anonymous
Love is metaphysical gravity.
- R. Buckminster Fuller
The only true love is love at first sight;
second sight dispels it.
- Israel Zangwill
Oh, come on, Shrek, wake up and smell the pheromones!
- the movie Shrek (2001)
When you are courting a nice girl
an hour seems like a second.
When you sit on a red-hot cinder
a second seems like an hour.
That's relativity.
- Albert Einstein
True love is like ghosts,
which everyone talks about and few have seen.
- Francois de La Rochefoucauld
The Wedding March always reminds me of the music
played when soldiers go into battle.
- Heinrich Heine
One's first love is always perfect
until one meets one's second love.
- Elizabeth Aston
My wife ran off with my best friend, and I sure do miss him.
- Anonymous
Love is loving what your lover loves.
- Anonymous
Women marry men hoping they will change.
Men marry women hoping they will not.
- Albert Einstein
Love is a grave mental disease.
- Plato
Save a boyfriend for a rainy day -
and another, in case it doesn't rain.
- Mae West
Love is only a dirty trick played on us
to achieve continuation of the species.
- W. Somerset Maugham
The feeling of friendship is like that
of being comfortably filled with roast beef;
love, like being enlivened with champagne.
- Samuel Johnson
My boyfriend and I broke up.
He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to.
- Rita Rudner
True love comes quietly,
without banners or flashing lights.
If you hear bells, get your ears checked.
- Erich Segal
A relationship, I think, is like a shark.
You know? It has to constantly move forward or it dies.
And I think what we got on our hands is a dead shark.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall (1977)
I'd like to kiss ya, but I just washed ma hair.
- the movie The Cabin in the Cotton
I love to shop after a bad relationship.
I don't know. I buy a new outfit
and it makes me feel better. It just does.
Sometimes I see a really great outfit,
I'll break up with someone on purpose.
- Rita Rudner
A woman in love can't be reasonable -
or she probably wouldn't be in love.
- Mae West
Love looks through a telescope;
envy, through a microscope.
- Josh Billings
You may call God love, you may call God goodness.
But the best name for God is compassion.
- Meister Eckhart
Love one another but make not a bond of love.
Let it rather be a moving sea
between the shores of your souls.
- Khalil Gibran
Love means not ever having to say you're sorry.
- Erich Segal
Do you feel stuck?
Whether in a project, a job, a relationship,
or some other situation,
there is a time for perseverance,
and a time for letting go and moving on.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All discarded lovers should be given a second chance,
but with somebody else.
- Mae West
Lord, grant that I might not so much
seek to be loved as to love.
- St. Francis of Assisi
This day I will marry my friend,
the one I laugh with, live for, dream with, love.
- Anonymous
Where there is great love,
there are always miracles.
- Willa Cather
Love comforteth like sunshine after rain.
- William Shakespeare
The magic words for a great relationship are,
"I love you just the way you are."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
True love is a process of co-creation
in which neither feels ownership or superiority.
Jealousy is a highly destructive force
for love and relationships.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Jealousy is all the fun you think they had.
- Erica Jong
When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain.
- Mark Twain
If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
- Anonymous
Where There is Love, Nothing is Missing.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Beauty is an outward gift,
which is seldom despised,
except by those to whom it has been refused.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
If love is the answer,
could you please rephrase the question.
- Lily Tomlin
We are not held back by the love we didn't receive in the past,
but by the love we're not extending in the present.
- Marianne Williamson
Love does not claim possession, but gives freedom.
- Rabindranath Tagore
The most important words in the English language
are not "I love you" but "It's benign."
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
I have found that if you love life,
life will love you back.
- Arthur Rubinstein
Use the power of your word
in the direction of truth and love.
- don Miguel Ruiz
Beauty without grace is the hook without the bait.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
If (s)he's an apple and you're an orange,
celebrate your differences -
make a great fruit salad.
Love isn't about being the same -
it's about being sweet with each other.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Love is the flower you've got to let grow.
- John Lennon
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.