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Let these funny Choicelessness Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
All men and women are born, live, suffer and die;
what distinguishes us one from another is our dreams,
whether they be dreams about worldly or unworldly things,
and what we do to make them come about.
We do not choose to be born.
We do not choose our parents.
We do not choose our historical epoch,
the country of our birth,
or the immediate circumstances of our upbringing.
We do not, most of us, choose to die;
nor do we choose the time and conditions of our death.
But within this realm of choicelessness, we do choose how we live.
- Joseph Epstein
Women want mediocre men,
and men are working to be as mediocre as possible.
- Margaret Mead
A man likes his wife to be
just clever enough to appreciate his cleverness,
and just stupid enough to admire it.
- Israel Zangwill
Women marry men hoping they will change.
Men marry women hoping they will not.
- Albert Einstein
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Men always want to be a woman's first love -
women like to be a man's last romance.
- Oscar Wilde
Here's a toast to your new bride who has everything a girl
could want in her life, except for good taste in men.
- Anonymous
It's not the men in your life that counts,
it's the life in your men.
- Mae West, in the movie I'm No Angel
Men have become the tools of their tools.
- Henry David Thoreau
The greatest deception men suffer is from their own opinions.
- Leonardo da Vinci
It is an interesting question how far men
would retain their relative rank
if they were divested of their clothes.
- Henry David Thoreau
Force always attracts men of low morality.
- Albert Einstein
In every society some men are born to rule,
and some to advise.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
In critical moments men sometimes see
exactly what they wish to see.
- the character Spock of the television series Star Trek
History teaches us that men and nations behave wisely
only after they have exhausted all other alternatives.
- Abba Eban
Thank God men cannot fly, and lay waste
the sky as well as the earth.
- Henry David Thoreau
I think men who have a pierced ear
are better prepared for marriage.
They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
- Rita Rudner
She's been diagnosed as a paranoid hypochondriac.
Doctors think she may be faking.
- the movie Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid
Few men have virtue to withstand the highest bidder.
- George Washington
My plan was to kiss her with every lip on my face.
- the movie Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid
If God listened to the prayers of men,
all men would quickly have perished:
for they are forever praying for evil against one another.
- Epicurus
I don't advise a haircut, man.
All hairdressers are in the employment of the government.
Hairs are your aerials.
They pick up signals from the cosmos,
and transmit them directly into the brain.
This is the reason bald-headed men are uptight.
- the movie Withnail & I
Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition.
- Marilyn Monroe
Our scientific power has outrun our spiritual power.
We have guided missiles and misguided men.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
I begin with the principle that all men are bores.
Surely no one will prove himself
so great a bore as to contradict me in this.
- Soren Kierkegaard
Most men lead lives of quiet desperation
and go to the grave with the song still in them.
- Henry David Thoreau
The means by which we live have outdistanced
the ends for which we live.
Our scientific power has outrun our spiritual power.
We have guided missiles and misguided men.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
It has always been a mystery to me
how men can feel themselves honored
by the humiliation of their fellow beings.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
When It's Darkest, Men See the Stars.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
While civilization has been improving our houses,
it has not equally improved
the men who are to inhabit them.
It has created palaces, but it was
not so easy to create noblemen and kings.
- Henry David Thoreau
The only thing necessary for evil to triumph
is for enough good men to do nothing.
- Edmund Burke
Tolerance is the first principle of community;
it is the spirit which conserves
the best that all men think.
- Helen Keller
Nearly all men can stand adversity,
but if you want to test a man's character, give him power.
- Abraham Lincoln
The revelation of thought takes men
out of servitude into freedom.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully
as when they do it from religious conviction.
- Blaise Pascal
Every kind of peaceful cooperation among men
is primarily based on mutual trust
and only secondarily on institutions
such as courts of justice and police.
- Albert Einstein
My heart bleeds at the death of every one of our gallant men.
- Robert E. Lee
The problems of the world cannot possibly
be solved by skeptics or cynics
whose horizons are limited by the obvious realities.
We need men who can dream of things that never were.
- John F. Kennedy
One machine can do the work of fifty ordinary men.
No machine can do the work of one extraordinary man.
- Elbert Hubbard
Who never walks save where he sees
men's tracks, makes no discoveries.
- J. G. Holland
A person is smart. People are dumb,
panicky dangerous animals and you know it.
Fifteen hundred years ago everybody knew
the Earth was the center of the universe.
Five hundred years ago,
everybody knew the Earth was flat,
and fifteen minutes ago,
you knew that humans were alone on this planet.
Imagine what you'll know tomorrow.
- the movie Men in Black
It takes time to persuade men to do even
what is for their own good.
- Thomas Jefferson
It is not work that kills men; it is worry.
Worry is rust upon the blade.
- Henry Ward Beecher
We who lived in concentration camps can remember the men
who walked through the huts comforting others,
giving away their last piece of bread...
They offer sufficient proof that everything
can be taken from a man but one thing:
to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances,
to choose one's own way.
- Viktor E. Frankl
I look only to the good qualities of men.
Not being faultless myself,
I won't presume to probe into the faults of others.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation.
- Henry David Thoreau
We have guided missiles and misguided men.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
The slavery of fear had made men afraid to think.
But such is the irresistible nature of truth,
that all it asks, and all it wants, is the liberty of appearing.
- Thomas Paine, Rights of Man, 1791
We the people are the rightful masters
of both Congress and the courts,
not to overthrow the Constitution
but to overthrow the men who pervert the Constitution.
- Abraham Lincoln
Every actual State is corrupt.
Good men must not obey laws too well.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Little do men perceive what solitude is,
and how far it extendeth.
For a crowd is not company,
and faces are but a gallery of pictures,
and talk but a tinkling cymbal,
where there is no love.
- Francis Bacon
The expert in battle seeks his victory
from strategic advantage
and does not demand it from his men.
- Sun Tzu
Every creature is better alive than dead,
men and moose and pine trees,
and he who understands it aright
will rather preserve its life than destroy it.
- Henry David Thoreau
Timid men prefer the calm of despotism
to the tempestuous sea of liberty.
- Thomas Jefferson
The difference between men friends and women friends
is that men tend to do things together,
women tend to just be together.
- Art Jahnke
Trust men and they will be true to you;
treat them greatly and they will show themselves great.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Republicans are men of narrow vision,
who are afraid of the future.
- Jimmy Carter
The highest proof of the spirit is love.
Love is the eternal thing which men can already
on earth possess as it really is.
- Albert Schweitzer
Habits age men before their time.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Men are born to succeed, not to fail.
- Henry David Thoreau
The majority of men meet with failure
because of their lack of persistence
in creating new plans to take
the place of those which fail.
- Napoleon Hill
Men occasionally stumble over the truth,
but most of them pick themselves up
and hurry off as if nothing had happened.
- Winston Churchill
Men are disturbed not by things,
but by the view which they take of them.
- Epictetus
If we take the generally accepted definition of bravery
as a quality which knows no fear, I have never seen a brave man.
All men are frightened. The more intelligent they are,
the more they are frightened.
- George S. Patton
There is a good ear, in some men,
that draws supplies to virtue
out of very indifferent nutriment.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
The price of apathy towards public affairs
is to be ruled by evil men.
- Plato
If you would convince a man that he does wrong, do right.
Men will believe what they see.
- Henry David Thoreau
Great men or men of great gifts
you shall easily find,
but symmetrical men never.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
When men destroy their old gods,
they will find new ones to take their place.
- Pearl S. Buck
Only free men can negotiate;
prisoners cannot enter into contracts.
Your freedom and mine cannot be separated.
- Nelson Mandela
Security is mostly a superstition.
It does not exist in nature,
nor do the children of men as a whole experience it.
Avoiding danger is no safer
in the long run than outright exposure.
Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing.
- Helen Keller
Behind an able man there are always other able men.
- Chinese proverb
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.