Enter one or two keywords to search these Funny Quotes.

Hint: keep it simple, like life twain



Facebook share   Tweet This   Email this

Funny Quotes about Life
Funny Quotes about Life | Funny Love Quotes | Links | About
Search:   A-   B-   Ca-   Co-   D-   E-   F-   G-   H-    I-    J-K-L   M-   N-O   Pa-   Pr-   Q-R   Sa-   Sk-   T-   U-V-W-X-Y-Z


Get a Humorous, Yet Insightful, Quote of the Day each day by email.
Follow funny-quotes-life.com by Email:


The first step towards the solution
by John Baines

The first step towards the solution
of any problem is optimism.
- John Baines

Don't go around saying the world owes you a living;
the world owes you nothing; it was here first.
- Mark Twain PHOTO

The first sigh of love is the last breath of wisdom.
- Anonymous PHOTO

Men always want to be a woman's first love -
women like to be a man's last romance.
- Oscar Wilde


Get a Funny Quote of the Day each day by email or in your feed reader.

 Subscribe in a reader -- or
Enter your email address:




Delivered by FeedBurner


When I eventually met Mr. Right
I had no idea that his first name was Always.
- Rita Rudner

If he's first class, I'm traveling steerage.
- the movie Libeled Lady (1936)

If at first you don't succeed,
skydiving is not for you.
- Anonymous


 

When I first saw you, I thought you were handsome.
Then, of course, you spoke.
- the movie As Good As It Gets (1997)

Marriages don't last. When I meet a guy,
the first question I ask myself is:
is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?
- Rita Rudner

I am a man of fixed and unbending principles,
the first of which is to be flexible at all times.
- Everett Dirksen

I don't know which will go first - rock 'n' roll or Christianity.
- John Lennon

Getting fired is nature's way to telling you
that you had the wrong job in the first place.
- Hal Lancaster

The physician can bury his mistakes,
but the architect can only advise his client to plant vines -
so they should go as far as possible from home
to build their first buildings.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

Contrary to general belief,
I do not believe that friends are necessarily
the people you like best,
they are merely the people who got there first.
- Peter Ustinov

Those who have free seats at a play hiss first.
- Chinese Proverb

Life is uncertain; always eat dessert first.
- Anonymous

If at first you don't succeed,
try, try, and try again.
Then give up.
There's no use being a damned fool about it.
- W. C. Fields

One's first love is always perfect
until one meets one's second love.
- Elizabeth Aston

After the first blush of sin, comes its indifference.
- Henry David Thoreau

The only true love is love at first sight;
second sight dispels it.
- Israel Zangwill

There are two kinds of people,
those who do the work,
and those who take the credit.
Try to be in the first group;
there is less competition there.
- Indira Gandhi

Get the facts first.
You can distort them later.
- Mark Twain

There are four stages in a marriage.
First there's the affair,
then the marriage,
then children
and finally the fourth stage,
without which you cannot know a woman, the divorce.
- Norman Mailer

Smile first thing in the morning. Get it over with.
- W. C. Fields

We're more popular than Jesus now;
I don't know which will go first, rock 'n' roll or Christianity.
- John Lennon

Many a man owes his success to his first wife
and his second wife to his success.
- Jim Backus

Belief is a virus, and once it gets into you,
its first order of business is to preserve itself,
and the way it preserves itself
is to keep you from having any doubts,
and the way it keeps you from doubting
is to blind you to the way things really are.
- Philip Caputo

Christianity will go. It will vanish and shrink.
I needn't argue with that; I'm right and I will be proved right.
We're more popular than Jesus now;
I don't know which will go first - rock and roll or Christianity.
- John Lennon

Always be a first-rate version of yourself,
instead of a second-rate version of somebody else.
- Judy Garland

Seek first to understand,
then to be understood.
- Stephen Covey

Apathy, indifference, not caring...
It may sound insensitive for me to say, "I don't care,"
but ask first to what I am indifferent.
I choose to be caring, compassionate
and kind toward all people,
and I also choose to be indifferent to gossip,
petty complaints, and idle chatter.
About those, I just don't care.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Today is the first day of the rest of your life.
- Anonymous

To climb steep hills requires a slow pace at first.
- William Shakespeare

When we step on the battlefield, I will be
The First Boots On and the Last Boots Off.
- LtG. Hal Moore

Tolerance is the first principle of community;
it is the spirit which conserves
the best that all men think.
- Helen Keller

Faith is taking the first step,
even when you don't see the whole staircase.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

All things at first appear difficult.
- Chinese proverb

First they ignore you, then they laugh at you,
then they fight you, then you win.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Lovers who have been left, lose confidence and become afraid.
They learn to leave relationships first.
The broken hearted become the heart breakers.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Give thanks for the rainbows, for the butterflies,
for all God's creatures - large and small,
for the bright blue sky and the soft fog and the gentle rain,
for the tree veiled in the season's first frost,
for the baby's laugh, for the touch of a hand
and the whispered "I love you."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

BERLIN: PROCLAMATION TO THE GERMAN NATION FEBRUARY 1, 1933
The National Government will regard it as its first and foremost duty
to revive in the nation the spirit of unity and co-operation.
It will preserve and defend those basic principles
on which our nation has been built.
It regards Christianity as the foundation of our national morality,
and the family as the basis of national life....
- Adolf Hitler

Okay, here's your first lesson: how to take a FALL!
- the movie Karate Kid

Take a deep breath and do the difficult thing first.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Experience is a hard teacher.
She gives the test first
and the lessons afterwards.
- Anonymous

The first quality that is needed is audacity.
- Winston Churchill

During the first period of a man's life
the greatest danger is not to take the risk.
- Soren Kierkegaard

First say to yourself what you would be;
then do what you have to do.
- Epictetus

The first principle is that you must not fool yourself -
and you are the easiest person to fool.
- Richard Feynman

Give me six hours to chop down a tree
and I will spend the first four sharpening the axe.
- Abraham Lincoln

A holiday, the day I first named you, "friend."
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Non-violence is the first article of my faith.
It is also the last article of my creed.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

You grow up the day you have
your first real laugh - at yourself.
- Ethel Barrymore

Every really new idea looks crazy at first.
- Alfred North Whitehead

Courage is rightly esteemed the first of human qualities...
because it is the quality which guarantees all others.
- Winston Churchill

Know, first, who you are, and then adorn yourself accordingly.
- Epictetus

The first wealth is health.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

First learn the meaning of what you say, and then speak.
- Epictetus

Be gentle first with yourself.
- Lama Yeshe

Habits are cobwebs at first, cables at last.
- Chinese proverb

My reaction to porno films is as follows; After the first ten minutes,
I want to go home and screw; After the first twenty minutes,
I never want to screw again as long as I live
- Erica Jong

The first step in the evolution of ethics
is a sense of solidarity with other human beings.
- Albert Schweitzer

We shall not cease from exploration
And the end of all of our exploring
Will be to arrive where we started
And know the place for the first time
- T. S. Eliot

Self-confidence is the first requisite to great undertakings.
- Samuel Johnson

In rivers, the water that you touch
is the last of what has passed
and the first of that which comes;
so with present time.
- Leonardo da Vinci

Honesty is the first chapter in the book of wisdom.
- Thomas Jefferson

In my country we go to prison first, and then become President.
- Nelson Mandela

If there is anything that we wish to change in the child,
we should first examine it and see whether it is
not something that could better be changed in ourselves.
- Carl Jung

Thanks to television, for the first time
the young are seeing history made
before it is censored by their elders.
- Margaret Mead

"Think simple" as my old master used to say -
meaning reduce the whole of its parts
into the simplest terms,
getting back to first principles.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

Life is a journey. It is not a race to test
who can finish first or who can end up with the most loot.
Rather, life is best enjoyed as a meander -
watching the view to left and right - above and below -
as the days slowly move past in dress review.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Nothing happens unless first a dream.
- Carl Sandburg


Thank you for visiting: The first step towards the solution by John Baines.

Please sign up on the form below to receive
my Free Daily Inspiration - Daily Quotes email.

You can also search my large collection of Funny Quotes.

May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


Funny Quotes

 


All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.