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Let these funny Shannon Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
The best thing about me is you.
- Shannon Crown
Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
- Mark Twain 
Barf: I'm a mog: half man, half dog. I'm my own best friend!
- the movie Spaceballs (1987)
I am easily satisfied with the very best.
- Winston Churchill
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A friend is someone who will bail you out of jail.
A best friend is the one sitting next
to you saying "boy was that fun."
- The Maugles
My wife ran off with my best friend, and I sure do miss him.
- Anonymous
Look your best - who said love is blind?
- Mae West
It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks.
She's not marrying the best man.
- Anonymous
Never argue at the dinner table, for the one who is not hungry
always gets the best of the argument.
- Voltaire
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend.
Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
- Groucho Marx
The best thing about the future is
that it comes one day at a time.
- Abraham Lincoln
If you refuse to accept anything but the best,
you very often get it.
- Somerset Maugham
Knowing your own darkness is the best method
for dealing with the darknesses of other people.
- Carl Jung
We have the best government that money can buy.
- Mark Twain
Heaven must be an awfully dull place
if your best friends end up elsewhere.
- Anonymous
Contrary to general belief,
I do not believe that friends are necessarily
the people you like best,
they are merely the people who got there first.
- Peter Ustinov
Testing oneself is best when done alone.
- Jimmy Carter
A common denominator of all religions is that
they have the power to bring out the best and the worst in people.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The best way to appreciate your job
is to imagine yourself without one.
- Oscar Wilde
Speak when you are angry -
and you will make the best speech you'll ever regret.
- Laurence J. Peter
For those who do not think,
it is best at least to rearrange
their prejudices once in a while.
- Luther Burbank
That's what Tiggers do best!
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)
The age of a woman doesn't mean a thing.
The best tunes are played on the oldest fiddles.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
The best argument against democracy is
a five-minute conversation with the average voter.
- Winston Churchill
When you have got an elephant by the hind legs
and he is trying to run away, it's best to let him run.
- Abraham Lincoln
Honesty may be the best policy,
but it's important to remember that apparently, by elimination,
dishonesty is the second-best policy.
- George Carlin
Short words are best
and the old words, when short, are best of all.
- Winston Churchill
Most people enjoy the inferiority of their best friends.
- Lord Chesterfield
Common looking people are the best in the world:
that is the reason the Lord makes so many of them.
- Abraham Lincoln
The best remedy for a short temper is a long walk.
- Jacqueline Schiff
Tolerance is the first principle of community;
it is the spirit which conserves
the best that all men think.
- Helen Keller
You may call God love, you may call God goodness.
But the best name for God is compassion.
- Meister Eckhart
Life is best when I wish neither to hurry the future nor to slow it.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Simply do your best, and you will avoid
self-judgment, self-abuse and regret.
- don Miguel Ruiz
Best Friends: we're a parade - even by ourselves!
- Mary Anne Radmacher
To know yet to think that one does not know is best;
Not to know yet to think that one knows
will lead to difficulty.
- Lao Tzu
If we like what we do, if we always do our best,
then we are really enjoying life.
We are having fun, we don't get bored,
we don't have frustrations.
- don Miguel Ruiz
Know the best and highest choices for health
and more often choose those things.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
There is some good in the worst of us
and some evil in the best of us.
When we discover this,
we are less prone to hate our enemies.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
Infinite striving to be the best is man's duty;
it is its own reward.
Everything else is in God's hands.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
The best remedy for those who are afraid, lonely or unhappy
is to go outside, somewhere where they can be quiet,
alone with the heavens, nature and God.
Because only then does one feel that all is as it should be.
- Anne Frank
The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.
- Dale Carnegie
Be prepared for life -
to live happily and without regret,
knowing that you have done your best.
- the Boy Scout Handbook
Today is a day to cover your best weapons in velvet.
Go gently into the world.
Hold your anger.
Keep your competitive spirit in check.
Some day you will need your fierce weapons,
but not today.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The best bridge between despair and hope is a good night's sleep.
- E. Joseph Cossman
I have lost my seven best friends,
which is to say that God has had mercy on me
seven times without realizing it.
He lent a friendship, took it from me, and sent me another.
- Jean Cocteau
The best way to gain self-confidence
is to do what you are afraid to do.
- Anonymous
You have to accept whatever comes
and the only important thing is that you meet it with courage
and with the best that you have to give.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
The best way to predict the future is to create it.
- Peter F. Drucker
I believe that a simple and unassuming manner of life
is best for everyone, best both for the body and the mind.
- Albert Einstein
The most erroneous stories are those
we think we know best -
and therefore never scrutinize or question.
- Stephen Jay Gould
It's a funny thing about life;
if you refuse to accept anything but the best,
you very often get it.
- W. Somerset Maugham
My dream is of a place and a time where America
will once again be seen as the last best hope of earth.
- Abraham Lincoln
Always do your best.
- don Miguel Ruiz
The best time to make friends is before you need them.
- Ethel Barrymore
When the best leader's work is done the people say,
"We did it ourselves."
- Lao Tzu
Whatever your work and whatever its worth,
No matter how strong or clever,
Some one will sneer if you pause to hear,
And scoff at your best endeavor.
For the target art has a broad expanse,
And wherever you chance to hit it,
Though close be your aim to the bull's-eye fame,
There are those who will never admit it.
- Ella Wheeler Wilcox
Experience is the best teacher.
- Proverb
The best comfort I could offer
was to just let her tell her story.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Life is a journey. It is not a race to test
who can finish first or who can end up with the most loot.
Rather, life is best enjoyed as a meander -
watching the view to left and right - above and below -
as the days slowly move past in dress review.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Perhaps nature is our best assurance of immortality.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
The best and most beautiful things in the world
cannot be seen or even touched.
They must be felt with the heart.
- Helen Keller
Sleep is the best meditation.
- Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama
A good example is the best sermon.
- Benjamin Franklin
The best of a book is not the thought which it contains,
but the thought which it suggests;
just as the charm of music dwells not in the tones
but in the echoes of our hearts.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes
One way or another, we all have to find
what best fosters the flowering of our humanity
in this contemporary life,
and dedicate ourselves to that.
- Joseph Campbell
The time comes upon every public man
when it is best for him to keep his lips closed.
- Abraham Lincoln
The key is to keep company only with people who uplift you,
whose presence calls forth your best.
- Epictetus
Be yourself. There is nothing more for you to do
than to be the best YOU that you can be -
with no imitation, no pretense, no guilt, no shame.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Tradition is like a second-hand store.
It is best to sort carefully
between the treasures and the trash.
See everything with new eyes.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
He who knows best knows how little he knows.
- Thomas Jefferson
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.