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Let these funny Scholar Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
A scholar who cherishes the love of comfort
is not fit to be deemed a scholar.
- Lao Tzu
Men have a respect for scholarship and learning
greatly out of proportion to the use they commonly serve.
- Henry David Thoreau
Women want mediocre men,
and men are working to be as mediocre as possible.
- Margaret Mead
A man likes his wife to be
just clever enough to appreciate his cleverness,
and just stupid enough to admire it.
- Israel Zangwill
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Men always want to be a woman's first love -
women like to be a man's last romance.
- Oscar Wilde
It's not the men in your life that counts,
it's the life in your men.
- Mae West, in the movie I'm No Angel
Here's a toast to your new bride who has everything a girl
could want in her life, except for good taste in men.
- Anonymous
Women marry men hoping they will change.
Men marry women hoping they will not.
- Albert Einstein
She's been diagnosed as a paranoid hypochondriac.
Doctors think she may be faking.
- the movie Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid
Few men have virtue to withstand the highest bidder.
- George Washington
Force always attracts men of low morality.
- Albert Einstein
In critical moments men sometimes see
exactly what they wish to see.
- the character Spock of the television series Star Trek
It has always been a mystery to me
how men can feel themselves honored
by the humiliation of their fellow beings.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
In every society some men are born to rule,
and some to advise.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
My plan was to kiss her with every lip on my face.
- the movie Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid
The greatest deception men suffer is from their own opinions.
- Leonardo da Vinci
Our scientific power has outrun our spiritual power.
We have guided missiles and misguided men.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
I don't advise a haircut, man.
All hairdressers are in the employment of the government.
Hairs are your aerials.
They pick up signals from the cosmos,
and transmit them directly into the brain.
This is the reason bald-headed men are uptight.
- the movie Withnail & I
It is an interesting question how far men
would retain their relative rank
if they were divested of their clothes.
- Henry David Thoreau
Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition.
- Marilyn Monroe
The means by which we live have outdistanced
the ends for which we live.
Our scientific power has outrun our spiritual power.
We have guided missiles and misguided men.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
Thank God men cannot fly, and lay waste
the sky as well as the earth.
- Henry David Thoreau
If God listened to the prayers of men,
all men would quickly have perished:
for they are forever praying for evil against one another.
- Epicurus
Most men lead lives of quiet desperation
and go to the grave with the song still in them.
- Henry David Thoreau
History teaches us that men and nations behave wisely
only after they have exhausted all other alternatives.
- Abba Eban
I begin with the principle that all men are bores.
Surely no one will prove himself
so great a bore as to contradict me in this.
- Soren Kierkegaard
Men have become the tools of their tools.
- Henry David Thoreau
I think men who have a pierced ear
are better prepared for marriage.
They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
- Rita Rudner
Nearly all men can stand adversity,
but if you want to test a man's character, give him power.
- Abraham Lincoln
While civilization has been improving our houses,
it has not equally improved
the men who are to inhabit them.
It has created palaces, but it was
not so easy to create noblemen and kings.
- Henry David Thoreau
Tolerance is the first principle of community;
it is the spirit which conserves
the best that all men think.
- Helen Keller
The only thing necessary for evil to triumph
is for enough good men to do nothing.
- Edmund Burke
When It's Darkest, Men See the Stars.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
I look only to the good qualities of men.
Not being faultless myself,
I won't presume to probe into the faults of others.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
The problems of the world cannot possibly
be solved by skeptics or cynics
whose horizons are limited by the obvious realities.
We need men who can dream of things that never were.
- John F. Kennedy
It is not work that kills men; it is worry.
Worry is rust upon the blade.
- Henry Ward Beecher
A person is smart. People are dumb,
panicky dangerous animals and you know it.
Fifteen hundred years ago everybody knew
the Earth was the center of the universe.
Five hundred years ago,
everybody knew the Earth was flat,
and fifteen minutes ago,
you knew that humans were alone on this planet.
Imagine what you'll know tomorrow.
- the movie Men in Black
We who lived in concentration camps can remember the men
who walked through the huts comforting others,
giving away their last piece of bread...
They offer sufficient proof that everything
can be taken from a man but one thing:
to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances,
to choose one's own way.
- Viktor E. Frankl
One machine can do the work of fifty ordinary men.
No machine can do the work of one extraordinary man.
- Elbert Hubbard
It takes time to persuade men to do even
what is for their own good.
- Thomas Jefferson
Every kind of peaceful cooperation among men
is primarily based on mutual trust
and only secondarily on institutions
such as courts of justice and police.
- Albert Einstein
Who never walks save where he sees
men's tracks, makes no discoveries.
- J. G. Holland
My heart bleeds at the death of every one of our gallant men.
- Robert E. Lee
The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation.
- Henry David Thoreau
The revelation of thought takes men
out of servitude into freedom.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully
as when they do it from religious conviction.
- Blaise Pascal
We know but a few men, a great many coats and breeches.
- Henry David Thoreau
There is a good ear, in some men,
that draws supplies to virtue
out of very indifferent nutriment.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
The heresy of one age becomes the orthodoxy of the next.
Mere tolerance has given place to a sentiment of brotherhood
between sincere men of all denominations.
- Helen Keller
The politician in my country seeks votes,
affection and respect, in that order.
With few notable exceptions,
they are simply men who want to be loved.
- Edward R. Murrow
The expert in battle seeks his victory
from strategic advantage
and does not demand it from his men.
- Sun Tzu
Security is mostly a superstition.
It does not exist in nature,
nor do the children of men as a whole experience it.
Avoiding danger is no safer
in the long run than outright exposure.
Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing.
- Helen Keller
To sin by silence when they should protest makes cowards of men.
- Abraham Lincoln
When men destroy their old gods,
they will find new ones to take their place.
- Pearl S. Buck
Man becomes great exactly in the degree
in which he works for the welfare of his fellow-men.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
There are times, sir, when men of good conscience
cannot blindly follow orders.
- Captain Picard, STAR TREK: The Next Generation
We the people are the rightful masters
of both Congress and the courts,
not to overthrow the Constitution
but to overthrow the men who pervert the Constitution.
- Abraham Lincoln
Men and women are not prisoners of fate,
but only prisoners of their own minds.
- Franklin D. Roosevelt
I have no ambition to govern men; it is a painful and thankless office.
- Thomas Jefferson
Men have always detested women's gossip
because they suspect the truth:
their measurements are being taken and compared.
- Erica Jong
The majority of men meet with failure
because of their lack of persistence
in creating new plans to take
the place of those which fail.
- Napoleon Hill
Measures must always, in a progressive society,
be held superior to men, who are after all,
imperfect instruments, working for their fulfillment.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Most men pursue pleasure with such breathless haste
that they hurry past it.
- Soren Kierkegaard
Timid men prefer the calm of despotism
to the tempestuous sea of liberty.
- Thomas Jefferson
We have guided missiles and misguided men.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
Men love to wonder, and that is the seed of science.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
It is foolish and wrong to mourn the men who died.
Rather we should thank God that such men lived.
- George S. Patton
The highest proof of the spirit is love.
Love is the eternal thing which men can already
on earth possess as it really is.
- Albert Schweitzer
The history of free men is never really written by chance
but by choice; their choice!
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
Habits age men before their time.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Either war is obsolete, or men are.
- R. Buckminster Fuller
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.