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Let these funny Mislead Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
Blinding ignorance does mislead us.
Oh Wretched mortals, open your eyes!
- Leonardo da Vinci
Even in the Christian religion,
much of its real meaning is hidden by words
that are misleading and symbols that but few understand.
- Ernest Holmes
Training - training is everything; training is all there is to a person.
We speak of nature; it is folly; there is no such thing as nature;
what we call by that misleading name is merely heredity and training.
We have no thoughts of our own, no opinions of our own;
they are transmitted to us, trained into us.
All that is original in us, and therefore fairly creditable
or discreditable to us, can be covered up and hidden
by the point of a cambric needle, all the rest being atoms
contributed by, and inherited from, a procession of ancestors
that stretches back a billion years to the Adam-clam
or grasshopper or monkey from whom our race has been
so tediously and ostentatiously and unprofitably developed.
And as for me, all that I think about in this plodding sad pilgrimage,
this pathetic drift between the eternities,
is to look out and humbly live a pure and high and blameless life,
and save that one microscopic atom in me that is truly me:
the rest may land in Sheol and welcome for all I care.
- Mark Twain in A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court
You might have seen a housefly, maybe even a superfly,
but I bet you ain't never seen a DONKEY fly!
- the movie Shrek (2001)
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One cannot have everything the way he would like it.
A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment,
anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.
- Mark Twain
I think that there is nothing, not even crime,
more opposed to poetry, to philosophy, ay, to life itself
than this incessant business.
- Henry David Thoreau
Question with boldness even the existence of a God;
because, if there be one, he must more approve of the homage of reason,
than that of blind-folded fear.
- Thomas Jefferson
Boys will be boys. And even that wouldn't matter
if only we could prevent girls from being girls.
- Anne Frank
Man can hardly even recognize the devils of his own creation.
- Albert Schweitzer
I truly believe that happiness is possible...
even when you're thirty-three
and have a bottom the size of two bowling balls.
- the movie Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason
Iron rusts from disuse;
water loses its purity from stagnation...
even so does inaction sap the vigor of the mind.
- Leonardo da Vinci
I know that God made the whole world in 4004 BC.
I know because my preacher told me. He's a good man.
He's even saving up all the money we give him
to go to bible college someday.
- Anonymous Humor
Even if you're on the right track,
you'll get run over if you just sit there.
- Will Rogers
She drove me to drink.
That's the one thing I'm indebted to her for.
- the movie Never Give a Sucker an Even Break
A true friend is someone who
thinks that you are a good egg
even though he knows that
you are slightly cracked.
- Bernard Meltzer
Best Friends: we're a parade - even by ourselves!
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Faith is taking the first step,
even when you don't see the whole staircase.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
Appreciate again and again, freshly and naively,
the basic goods of life, with awe,
pleasure, wonder and even ecstasy,
however stale these experiences may have become to others.
- Abraham Maslow
To laugh often and much;
to win the respect of intelligent people
and the affection of children,
to leave the world a better place,
to know even one life has breathed easier
because you have lived,
this is to have succeeded.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Most of us are prisoners of habit,
and don't even notice that we do the same things,
think the same things, want the same things each day -
mostly without conscious thought.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Life does not consist mainly,
or even largely, of facts or happenings.
It consist mainly of the storm of thoughts
that is forever flowing through one's head.
- Mark Twain
We humans feel an instinctive need to know
what is coming next - what we can count upon.
We fear change - even the most positive change.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
It takes time to persuade men to do even
what is for their own good.
- Thomas Jefferson
Belief fuels our decisions -
even when we are not clearly aware of those beliefs.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
The trouble is,
if you don't risk anything,
you risk even more.
- Erica Jong
Doing an injury puts you below your enemy;
revenging one make you but even with him;
forgiving it sets you above him.
- Benjamin Franklin [attributed]
If a man is called to be a street sweeper,
he should sweep streets even as Michelangelo painted,
or Beethoven composed music, or Shakespeare wrote poetry.
He should sweep streets so well that all the hosts
of heaven and earth will pause to say,
here lived a great street sweeper who did his job well.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
Shoot for the moon.
Even if you miss,
you'll land among the stars.
- Les Brown
If you don't risk anything, you risk even more.
- Erica Jong
Farewell My Friend
It was beautiful as long as it lasted
The journey of my life.
I have no regrets whatsoever
save the pain I'll leave behind.
Those dear hearts who love and care...
And the strings pulling at the heart and soul...
The strong arms that held me up
When my own strength let me down.
At every turning of my life
I came across good friends,
Friends who stood by me,
Even when the time raced me by.
Farewell, farewell my friends
I smile and bid you goodbye.
No, shed no tears for I need them not
All I need is your smile.
If you feel sad do think of me
for that's what I'll like
when you live in the hearts
of those you love, remember then
you never die.
- Gitanjali Ghei
To be one, to be united is a great thing.
But to respect the right to be different is maybe even greater.
- Bono
Life is a series of experiences,
each one of which makes us bigger,
even though sometimes it is hard to realize this.
- Henry Ford
Piglet noticed that even though he had a Very Small Heart,
it could hold a rather large amount of Gratitude.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)
You know you love someone when you know
you want them to be happy,
even if their happiness means
that you are not a part of it.
- Anonymous
Few people are capable of expressing with equanimity
opinions which differ from
the prejudices of their social environment.
Most people are even incapable of forming such opinions.
- Albert Einstein
Praying without ceasing is not ritualized,
nor are there even words.
It is a constant state of awareness of oneness with God.
- Peace Pilgrim
You can chain me, you can torture me,
you can even destroy this body,
but you will never imprison my mind.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Even the rich are hungry for love,
for being cared for, for being wanted,
for having someone to call their own.
- Mother Teresa
Even from the darkest night songs of beauty can be born.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Religion is more than life. Remember that his own religion
is the truest to every man even if it stands low
in the scales of philosophical comparison.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
People understand me so poorly that they don't even understand
my complaint about them not understanding me.
- Soren Kierkegaard
To know even one life has
breathed easier because you have lived.
This is to have succeeded.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
One of the greatest cause of unhappiness -
perhaps even the only cause of unhappiness - is comparison.
I remember as a young child hearing my mother say,
"Comparisons are odious."
That is one of the oldest sayings in the English language,
and one of the most important.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Too many of us look upon Americans as dollar chasers.
This is a cruel libel, even if it is reiterated
thoughtlessly by the Americans themselves.
- Albert Einstein
If you have health, you probably will be happy,
and if you have health and happiness,
you have all the wealth you need, even if it is not all you want.
- Elbert Hubbard
Respond intelligently even to unintelligent treatment.
- Lao Tzu
Not everyone is always going to like what you do.
Your job application, your book proposal,
your offer of marriage is going to
get rejected sometimes - perhaps often.
Your boss, your spouse, even the person
behind you in the supermarket checkout line
is occasionally going to think that you are doing it all wrong.
Don't take it personally.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I recognize the delivery of grace to my day,
even if I cannot identify a specific return address.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
I live in my own place -
have never copied anyone even half,
and at any master who lacks the grace -
to laugh at himself - I laugh.
- Friedrich Nietzsche
Maturity is the ability to do a job
whether or not you are supervised,
to carry money without spending it,
and to bear an injustice without wanting to get even.
- Ann Landers
Children are born innocent.
Before they are domesticated they live in the moment,
love without fear, and don't even think about the opinions of others.
- don Miguel Ruiz
Even death is not to be feared by one who has lived wisely.
- The Buddha
The most beautiful things in the world
cannot be seen or even touched,
they must be felt with the heart.
- Helen Keller
It was the experience of mystery -
even if mixed with fear -
that engendered religion.
- Albert Einstein
My vision of a real humanity is of pure individuals
relating to each other, but not tied in any relationship.
They will be loving to each other,
but not being possessive of each other.
They will be sharing with each other
all their joys and all their blessings,
but never even in their dreams thinking of dominating,
thinking of enslaving the other person.
- Osho (Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh)
While you are proclaiming peace with your lips,
be careful to have it even more fully in your heart.
- St. Francis of Assisi
Love comes to those who still hope
even though they've been disappointed,
to those who still believe
even though they've been betrayed,
to those who still love
even though they've been hurt before.
- Anonymous
It takes a great deal of courage to stand up to your enemies,
but even more to stand up to your friends.
- J.K. Rowling
Never be in a hurry; do everything quietly and in a calm spirit.
Do not lose your inner peace for anything whatsoever,
even if your whole world seems upset.
- Saint Francis de Sales
To kill an error is as good a service as,
and sometimes even better than,
the establishing of a new truth or fact.
- Charles Darwin
Do not lose your inner peace for anything whatsoever,
even if your whole world seems upset.
- Saint Francis de Sales
It is more dangerous that even
a guilty person should be punished
without the forms of law
than that he should escape.
- Thomas Jefferson
I have found that hollow,
which even I had relied on for solid.
- Henry David Thoreau
You can never really live anyone else's life,
not even your child's.
The influence you exert is through your own life,
and what you've become yourself.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
Let reason trump tradition and the opinions of others,
but let your own sense of what is Right trump even reason.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Never do anything against conscience
even if the state demands it.
- Albert Einstein
Look at this butterfly, so beautiful, so delicate.
I can enjoy this butterfly from a distance,
but if I touched her, she would die.
While not quite as delicate as butterflies,
people also need private space and private time
away from the demands of the world -
even away from the attentions of those
with whom they are most bonded.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
You can do what you have to do,
and sometimes you can do it
even better than you think you can.
- Jimmy Carter
Violence, even well intentioned,
always rebounds upon oneself.
- Lao Tzu
Truth stands, even if there be no public support.
It is self-sustained.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
We are going to have peace even if we have to fight for it.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.