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Funny Christian Quotes
Funny Christian Sayings

Let these funny Christian Quotes add some humor to your life. And check out many more Funny Quotes from my large collection.

Lord, grant that I might not so much
seek to be loved as to love.
- St. Francis of Assisi

If someone had told me I would be Pope one day,
I would have studied harder.
- Pope John Paul I

Anyone who thinks sitting in church
can make you a Christian must also think
that sitting in a garage can make you a car.
- Garrison Keillor

If Christ were here now there is one thing
he would not be - a Christian.
- Mark Twain


 

If you can't feed a hundred people, then feed just one.
- Mother Teresa

Do not let Sunday be taken from you.
If your soul has no Sunday, it becomes an orphan.
- Albert Schweitzer

The Christian missionary may preach the gospel
to the poor naked heathen,
but the spiritual heathen who populate Europe
have as yet heard nothing of Christianity.
- Carl Jung


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If anyone has material possessions and sees his brother in need
but has no pity on him, how can the love of God be in him?
- 1 John 3:17

In boundless love as a Christian and as a man
I read through the passage which tells us
how the Lord at last rose in His might
and seized the scourge to drive out of the Temple
the brood of vipers and of adders.
- Adolf Hitler

This too, shall pass.
- Bible

Comfort and prosperity have never enriched
the world as much as adversity has.
- Billy Graham

A new command I give you: Love one another.
As I have loved you, so you must love one another.
- Jesus of Nazareth (John 13:34)

For those of true faith, death is not a time to mourn,
but a time to celebrate returning to the Creator.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Christmas waves a magic wand over this world,
and behold, everything is softer and more beautiful.
- Norman Vincent Peale

Our Lord has written the promise of the resurrection,
not in books alone, but in every leaf in spring-time.
- Martin Luther

Sunday clears away the rust of the whole week.
- Joseph Addison

I have a dream that one day every valley shall be exalted,
every hill and mountain shall be made low,
the rough places will be made straight
and the glory of the Lord shall be revealed
and all flesh shall see it together.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he.
- The Bible

Joy is a net of love by which you can catch souls.
- Mother Teresa

Lord, make me an instrument of thy peace.
Where there is hatred, let me sow love.
- St. Francis of Assisi

If you believe in forever,
then life is just a one night stand.
- The Righteous Brothers

Let us touch the dying, the poor,
the lonely and the unwanted
according to the graces we have received
and let us not be ashamed
or slow to do the humble work.
- Mother Teresa

The miracle is not that we do this work,
but that we are happy to do it.
- Mother Teresa

No man ever prayed heartily without learning something.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Compassion and generosity must be the heart of any true religion.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The most telling act of true Faith
is celebrating the death of a loved one
with the certain knowledge that
they are now in a better place.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he.
- Proverbs 23:7

A new friend is like new wine;
when it has aged you will drink it with pleasure.
- Ecclesiastes 9:10

Love one another.
- Jesus of Nazareth

"Just living is not enough," said the butterfly,
"one must have sunshine, freedom and a little flower."
- Hans Christian Andersen

The great gift of Easter is hope -
Christian hope which makes us have that confidence in God,
in his ultimate triumph, and in his goodness and love,
which nothing can shake.
- Basil C. Hume

We are all pencils in the hand of God.
- Mother Teresa

To everything there is a season,
and a time to every purpose under heaven:
A time to be born, and a time to die.
- Ecclesiastes 3:1

The will of God will never take you
to where the grace of God will not protect you.
- Anonymous

O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek
to be consoled as to console;
to be understood as to understand;
to be loved as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive;
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.
- St. Francis of Assisi

To be a Christian without prayer
is no more possible than to be alive without breathing.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Humility is not thinking less of yourself,
it's thinking of yourself less.
- Rick Warren (author of The Purpose Driven(R) Life)

Lord, make me an instrument of thy peace.
- St Francis of Assisi

Forgive Your Brother from Your Heart.
- Matthew 18:21-22

It is my desire, in the office of a Christian minister,
to do nothing which I cannot do with my whole heart.
Having said this, I have said all.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Christian voters should start looking
at global warming and extreme poverty
as religious issues that speak to the culture of life.
- Al Franken

We must be ready to learn from one another,
not claiming that we alone possess all truth
and that somehow we have a corner on God.
- Archbishop Desmond Tutu

When all is said and done,
the one sole condition that makes
spiritual happiness and preserves it
is the absence of doubt.
- Mark Twain

You have heard that it was said,
"Love your neighbor and hate your enemy."
But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.
- Matthew 5:43-44

Words which do not give the
light of Christ increase the darkness.
- Mother Teresa

What if Christmas, he thought, doesn't come from a store.
What if Christmas, perhaps, means a little bit more.
- Dr. Seuss

Preach the Gospel at all times and when necessary use words.
- St. Francis of Assisi

"Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?"
Jesus replied:
"'Love the Lord your God with all your heart
and with all your soul and with all your mind.'
This is the first and greatest commandment.
And the second is like it:
'Love your neighbor as yourself.'
All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments."
- Matthew 22:36-40

We should live our lives as though
Christ were coming this afternoon.
- Jimmy Carter

Above all the grace and the gifts
that Christ gives to his beloved
is that of overcoming self.
- St. Francis of Assisi

(Jesus on Love)
You have heard that it was said,
"Love your neighbor and hate your enemy."
But I tell you: Love your enemies
and pray for those who persecute you.
- Matthew 5:43-44

Now abide faith, hope, love, these three;
but the greatest of these is love.
- Corinthians 13:13

Many people mistake our work for our vocation.
Our vocation is the love of Jesus.
- Mother Teresa

Faith has to do with things that are not seen
and hope with things that are not at hand.
- Saint Thomas Aquinas.

Prayer is simply a two-way conversation between you and God.
- Billy Graham

Preserve me, O God: for in thee do I put my trust.
- Psalm 16:1

It is the quality of our work which will please God
and not the quantity.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

The Spirit is described in the Holy Scriptures
as much more anarchic than any established religion credits.
- Bono

Death is nothing else but going home to God,
the bond of love will be unbroken for all eternity.
- Mother Teresa

Let us more and more insist on raising funds of love,
of kindness, of understanding, of peace.
Money will come if we seek first the Kingdom of God -
the rest will be given.
- Mother Teresa

Guide our feet into the way of peace.
- Luke 1:79

God creates out of nothing. Wonderful you say.
Yes, to be sure, but he does what is still more wonderful:
he makes saints out of sinners.
- Soren Kierkegaard

It cannot be wisdom to assert the truth of one faith over another.
In our troubled world so full of contradictions,
the wise person makes justice his guide and learns from all.
- Akbar the Great (1542-1605)

I hate to see complacency prevail in our lives
when it's so directly contrary to the teaching of Christ.
- Jimmy Carter

A man who was completely innocent,
offered himself as a sacrifice for the good of others,
including his enemies,
and became the ransom of the world.
It was a perfect act.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

A man's pride shall bring him low,
but honor shall uphold the humble in spirit.
- Proverbs 29:23

As you sow, so shall you reap.
- Galatians 6:7

Love is patient, love is kind.
It does not envy, it does not boast,
It is not proud. It does not dishonor others,
It is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered,
It keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil
but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts,
always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails.
- Corinthians 13:4-8 (NIV)

What does it profit, my brethren,
if someone says he has faith but does not have works?
Can faith save him?
- James 2:14

Bold Light of Spirit:
Out of the darkness and into the light,
Open our eyes and behold such a sight.
Brilliance of day takes the place of the night,
Boldness and courage are swords of His Might.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The smallest seed of faith is better than
the largest fruit of happiness.
- Henry David Thoreau


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- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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