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Funny Name Quotes
Funny Quotes about Name

Let these funny Name Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

As you awaken,
may your dreams greet you by name,
and may you answer, "Yes!"
- Mary Anne Radmacher

When I eventually met Mr. Right
I had no idea that his first name was Always.
- Rita Rudner

I don't have a bank account because I don't know my mother's maiden name.
- Paula Poundstone

Always end the name of your child with a vowel,
so that when you yell, the name will carry.
- Bill Cosby


 

Experience is what you have after you've forgotten her name.
- Milton Berle

99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
- Anonymous

The ad agency's name for Hell is "Las Vegas."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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Experience is simply the name we give our mistakes.
- Oscar Wilde

Sometimes I lie awake at night and ask "Why me?"
Then a voice answers "Nothing personal,
your name just happened to come up. -
- Charlie Brown, in Charles M. Schulz' cartoon Peanuts

You may call God love, you may call God goodness.
But the best name for God is compassion.
- Meister Eckhart

Mother is the name for God
in the lips and hearts of little children.
- William Makepeace Thackeray

Everything we say, do, think, and feel
is a product of our personal history
and the collective history of humankind.
Our name for these histories is "prejudice."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

In the name of Hypocrites, doctors have invented the
most exquisite form of torture ever known to man:
survival.
- Edward Everett Hale

Always it gave me a pang that my children had no lawful claim to a name.
- Harriet Ann Jacobs

Inferiority Complex:
a name for not loving yourself enough.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

A poet's work is to name the unnameable,
to point at frauds, to take sides, start arguments,
shape the world, and stop it going to sleep.
- Salman Rushdie

My father used to sing to me in my mother's womb.
I think I can name about any tune in two beats.
- Yancy Butler

If I were asked to name the chief benefit of the house,
I should say: the house shelters day-dreaming,
the house protects the dreamer, the house allows one to dream in peace.
- Gaston Bachelard

It's true, you can never eat a pet you name.
And anyway, it would be like a ventriloquist eating his dummy.
- Alexander Theroux

Jim Bakker spells his name with two k's because three would be too obvious.
- Bill Maher

All my life, my heart has yearned for a thing I cannot name.
- Andre Breton

The bungalow had more to do with how Americans live
today than any other building that has gone remotely
by the name of architecture in our history.
- Russell Lynes

Do not say, "It is morning,"
and dismiss it with a name of yesterday.
See it for the first time
as a newborn child that has no name.
- Rabindranath Tagore

The weeds keep multiplying in our garden,
which is our mind ruled by fear.
Rip them out and call them by name.
- Sylvia Browne

Love is simply the name for the desire and the pursuit of the whole.
- Aristophanes

Heroism on command, senseless violence,
and all the loathsome nonsense that goes by the name of patriotism -
how passionately I hate them!
- Albert Einstein

America is another name for opportunity.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

SPIRIT is the name we give to
the entirety of everything we can perceive
plus the entirety of everything
that is beyond our perception.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

What's in a name? That which we call a rose
by any other name would smell as sweet
- William Shakespeare

A man's good name is his best monument
- from an old churchyard at Lockerbie, Scotland

There is no principle worth the name
if it is not wholly good.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

I wanted to know the name of every stone
and flower and insect and bird and beast.
I wanted to know where it got its color, where it got its life -
but there was no one to tell me.
- George Washington Carver

I sincerely believe that banking establishments
are more dangerous than standing armies,
and that the principle of spending money
to be paid by posterity, under the name of funding,
is but swindling futurity on a large scale.
- Thomas Jefferson

"Fair" is not a useful concept.
Life is not "fair."
You can't make life "fair."
You can get angry.
You can complain about life not being "fair."
You can attempt revenge - perhaps violently.
You can inflict great suffering upon yourself
in the name of life being "unfair."
And Life is still not "fair."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

We call that person who has lost his father,
an orphan; and a widower that man who has lost his wife.
But that man who has known the immense unhappiness of losing a friend,
by what name do we call him? Here every language is
silent and holds its peace in impotence.
- Joseph Roux

Our creator is the same and never changes
despite the names given Him by people here
and in all parts of the world.
Even if we gave Him no name at all,
He would still be there, within us,
waiting to give us good on this earth.
- George Washington Carver

And on the pedestal these words appear:
`My name is Ozymandias, King of Kings:
'Look on my works, ye mighty, and despair!'
Nothing beside remains. Round the decay
Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare,
The lone and level sands stretch far away.
- Percy Bysshe Shelley

I had pro offers from the Detroit Lions and Green Bay Packers,
who were pretty hard up for linemen in those days.
If I had gone into professional football the name Jerry
Ford might have been a household word today.
- Gerald R. Ford

Know that the true essence of the Golden Rule
is always being compassionate, kind,
generous, and being in service to others.
Compelling others to behave as you wish
them to behave in the name of the
Golden Rule is a corruption of a sacred principle.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Friendship is but another name for an alliance
with the follies and the misfortunes of others.
Our own share of miseries is sufficient:
why enter then as volunteers into those of another?
- Thomas Jefferson

The difference between the old ballplayer and the new
ballplayer is the jersey.
The old ballplayer cared about the name on the front.
The new ballplayer cares about the name on the back.
- Steve Garvey

What difference does it make to the dead,
the orphans, and the homeless,
whether the mad destruction is wrought
under the name of totalitarianism
or the holy name of liberty or democracy?
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

When you don't work for a while, immediately you get
a little black mark next to your name.
- Lori Loughlin

Each year we look for a big name that is attractive
to the public and pleasant for the girls.
- Marcello Mastroianni

All the people in Star Trek will always be known as those characters.
And what characters to have attached to your name in life!
The show is such a phenomenon all over the world.
- Nichelle Nichols

Yes, there is some thought about making a film of My Name Is Asher Lev.
- Chaim Potok

They did that little thing on South Park,
and they mentioned my name and had a character of me
judging a Halloween contest.
It was really funny.That made me the coolest aunt on earth.
- Tina Yothers

In The Name of the King is the right title.
To be honest, I don't know who had the final idea for
the title but I liked it and it has a strong connection to the movie's story.
- Uwe Boll

A good education is another name for happiness.
- Ann Plato

When I go out with the ladies, I don't force them to pronounce my name.
I tell them I like to go by the nickname of Kitten.
- Joaquin Phoenix

Inside us there is something that has no name,
that something is what we are.
- Jose Saramago

A sign of celebrity is that his name is often worth more than his services.
- Daniel J. Boorstin

I have no name: I am but two days old.
What shall I call thee? I happy am, Joy is my name.
Sweet joy befall thee!
- William Blake

I don't even correct people when they mispronounce my name now.
- Ann Beattie

His name, even, is part of the marketing scheme,
I mean, Thelonious Sphere Monk - how can you think
of a better name to fit his style of playing?
- Matthew Shipp

The Shakespeare that Shakespeare became is the name
that's attached to these astonishing objects that he left behind.
- Stephen Greenblatt

The Pentagon still has not given a name to the Iraqi war.
Somehow 'Operation Re-elect Bush' doesn't seem to be popular.
- Jay Leno

One crowded hour of glorious life is worth an age without a name.
- Walter Scott

In a change of masters the poor change nothing except their master's name.
- Phaedrus

If DreamWorks and Disney need that name to sell the
cartoon and get people in the seats,
that's what they need.
It's not fair, but there's plenty of other work for us to do.
- Carlos Alazraqui

Yeah, well my name is Bai Ling.
That means white spirit, and I really feel like sometimes I'm not existing.
- Bai Ling

Here lies one whose name was writ in water.
- John Keats

My Life in CIA is the first time that I've ever written a story in my own name.
- Harry Mathews

I think every player listens out for his name being
sung and it's something I really enjoy.
- Steven Gerrard

People always think I'm Jewish and changed my last name from Rabinowitz.
- Nathan Lane

I've always thought space station is a great name.
It should be like a gas station where we go for service
and supplies before heading further out.
- Wally Schirra

To understand a name you must be acquainted with the
particular of which it is a name.
- Bertrand Russell

I thought it completely absurd to mention my name in
the same breath as the presidency.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

I never knew any painter worthy of the name who paid
the smallest attention to what a critic says,
even in conversation.
- Robert Baldwin Ross

Since you knew they was goin' to cheat you anyway,
I recorded under any name with all of 'em.
- John Lee Hooker

It really is quite remarkable that Darfur has become a household name.
I am gratified that's the case.
- Nicholas D. Kristof


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- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.