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Let these funny Jackson Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
Let there be peace on earth.
And let it begin with me.
- Jill Jackson Miller
Be smarter than other people, just don't tell them so.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
You can always tell when a man's well informed.
His views are pretty much like your own.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
Think big thoughts but relish small pleasures.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr. 
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Love is when the other person's happiness
is more important than your own.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
There is nothing more depressing,
than having everything,
and still feeling sad.
- Janet Jackson
Good manners sometimes means simply
putting up with other people's bad manners.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
Remember that children, marriages, and flower gardens
reflect the kind of care they get.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
People take different roads seeking fulfillment and happiness.
Just because they're not on your road
doesn't mean they've gotten lost.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
Never forget the three powerful resources
you always have available to you:
love, prayer, and forgiveness.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
Sometimes the heart sees what is invisible to the eye.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
Nothing is more expensive than a missed opportunity.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
Let the refining and improving of your own life
keep you so busy that you have little time to criticize others.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
Your children need your presence
more than your presents.
- Jesse Jackson
Our character is what we do when we think no one is looking.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
How do we measure a great leader?
By how he treats the least of these.
- Jesse Jackson
Luck marches with those who give their very best.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
Never take counsel of your fears.
- Andrew Jackson
One man with courage makes a majority.
- old saying probably repeated by Andrew Jackson
(falsely attributed to Jefferson)
We're constantly striving for success, fame and comfort
when all we really need to be happy
is someone or some thing to be enthusiastic about.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
Find a job you like and you add five days to every week.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
Remember that the happiest people
are not those getting more, but those giving more.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
Choose your life's mate carefully.
From this one decision will come
90 percent of all your happiness or misery.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
If you're doing your best,
you won't have any time to worry about failure.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
The best preparation for tomorrow is doing your best today.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
Live so that when your children think of fairness,
caring and integrity, they think of you.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
In business or in life, don't follow the wagon tracks too closely.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
Opportunity dances with those already on the dance floor.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
You are braver than you believe,
stronger than you seem,
and smarter than you think.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)
If ever there is tomorrow when we're not together...
there is something you must always remember.
You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem,
and smarter than you think.
But the most important thing is, even if we're apart...
I'll always be with you.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)
I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner
Don't go around saying the world owes you a living;
the world owes you nothing; it was here first.
- Mark Twain
If you do what you've always done,
you'll get what you always got.
- Mark Twain
If you are not one of us, you are one of them.
- the movie The Matrix (1999)
Yesterday is like a dung heap;
you can complain about the smell,
or you can use it to fertilize tomorrow's garden.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer
It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble.
It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.
- Mark Twain (attributed)
However beautiful the strategy,
you should occasionally look at the results.
- Winston Churchill
Now, if you don't mind, I'd appreciate it if you could lower your wand.
- the movie Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
And you just gotta remember, Sparky -
no matter what they tell you - you can NEVER have too much sugar.
- the movie Michael (1996)
There's a couple of things they don't teach you
in Harvard Business School,
one is how to cope with defeat,
the other is how to handle a shotgun.
- The Simpsons Movie (2007)
I read that you should never go out with someone
if you can think of three reasons why you shouldn't.
- the movie Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason (2004)
The most important words in the English language
are not "I love you" but "It's benign."
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
When everything comes your way
you're in the wrong lane.
- Anonymous
You can lead a man to Congress,
but you can't make him think.
- Milton Berle
Thank you, gentlemen. Someday I will repay you,
unless of course I can't find you, or if I forget.
- the movie Shrek 2
Marriage has no guarantees.
If that's what you're looking for,
go live with a car battery.
- Erma Bombeck
In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland
(Groom), take (Bride)'s hand and place your hand over hers.
Now, remember this moment and cherish it...
because this will be the last time you ever have the upper hand.
- Anonymous
You have to learn to push the guilt
under the rug and move on,
otherwise it overwhelms you.
- the Woody Allen movie Match Point
When you are courting a nice girl
an hour seems like a second.
When you sit on a red-hot cinder
a second seems like an hour.
That's relativity.
- Albert Einstein
There's no reason to become alarmed,
and we hope you'll enjoy the rest of your flight.
By the way, is there anyone on board who knows how to fly a plane?
- the movie Airplane!
Be careful about reading health books.
You may die of a misprint.
- Mark Twain
Damn it boss, I like you too much not to say it.
You've got everything except one thing: madness!
- the movie Zorba The Greek
You can't make an omelet without breaking eggs.
- Anonymous
When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain.
- Mark Twain
A friend will tell you she saw your old boyfriend -
and he's a priest.
- Erma Bombeck
Getting divorced just because you don't love a man
is almost as silly as getting married just because you do.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
To keep your marriage brimming,
With love in the wedding cup,
Whenever you're wrong, admit it;
Whenever you're right, shut up.
- Ogden Nash
Always remember the three magic words: You're right dear.
- Anonymous
You might have seen a housefly, maybe even a superfly,
but I bet you ain't never seen a DONKEY fly!
- the movie Shrek (2001)
DON'T get officious.
You're not yourself when you're officious -
That is the curse of a government job.
- the movie Harold and Maude (1971)
Oh no, I can't do anything to the death.
Doctor's orders. You see, I have this ulcer condition,
and death is the worst thing for it.
- the movie Love and Death
Will the people in the cheaper seats clap your hands?
And the rest of you, if you'll just rattle your jewelry.
- John Lennon
Well, you ask a silly question, and you get a silly answer.
- Tom Lehrer
You'll live to be a hundred if you give up
all the things that make you want to.
- the movie Interiors
You never really know a man until you have divorced him.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
You know what? Maybe there's a good reason
donkeys shouldn't talk.
- the movie Shrek (2001)
You can put wings on a pig,
but you don't make it an eagle.
- William J. Clinton
I got a good mind to join a club
and beat you over the head with it.
- the Groucho Marx movie Duck Soup
Where did you park the invisible car?
- the movie Megamind (2010)
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.