Enter one or two keywords to search these Funny Quotes.

Hint: keep it simple, like life twain



Facebook share   Tweet This   Email this

Funny Quotes about Life
Funny Quotes about Life | Funny Love Quotes | Links | About
Search:   A-   B-   Ca-   Co-   D-   E-   F-   G-   H-    I-    J-K-L   M-   N-O   Pa-   Pr-   Q-R   Sa-   Sk-   T-   U-V-W-X-Y-Z

Funny Pleasures Quotes
Funny Quotes about Pleasures

Let these funny Pleasures Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

Think big thoughts but relish small pleasures.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

It is of the small joys and little pleasures
that the greatest of our days are built.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

There is more difference in the quality
of our pleasures than in the amount.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Our pleasures were simple - they included survival.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower


Get a Funny Quote of the Day each day by email or in your feed reader.

 Subscribe in a reader -- or
Enter your email address:




Delivered by FeedBurner


If one oversteps the bounds of moderation,
the greatest pleasures cease to please.
- Epictetus

That man is rich whose pleasures are the cheapest.
- Henry David Thoreau

It is the nature of the wise to resist pleasures,
but the foolish to be a slave to them.
- Epictetus


 

Service which is rendered without joy
helps neither the servant nor the served.
But all other pleasures and possessions
pale into nothingness before service
which is rendered in a spirit of joy.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

What if happiness were found in the serenity of simple pleasures.
What if we didn't need the newest gizmo... the highest high?
What if happiness is in the air we breathe...
slowly, deeply, and consciously?
What if happiness is one fresh grape, savored with gratitude?
What if happiness is in our oneness with all creation?
What if happiness is about enjoying life exactly as it comes to us -
without chasing after it?
What if happiness is something we CHOOSE...
regardless of our circumstances?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

There is no pleasure in having nothing to do;
the fun is in having lots to do and not doing it.
- Mary Wilson Little

Do not bite at the bait of pleasure,
till you know there is no hook beneath it.
- Thomas Jefferson

Appreciate again and again, freshly and naively,
the basic goods of life, with awe,
pleasure, wonder and even ecstasy,
however stale these experiences may have become to others.
- Abraham Maslow

It gives me great pleasure indeed to see the stubbornness
of an incorrigible nonconformist warmly acclaimed.
- Albert Einstein

Music produces a kind of pleasure
which human nature cannot do without.
- Confucius

My definition of success is to live your life in a way
that causes you to feel a ton of pleasure and very little pain -
and because of your lifestyle, have the people around you feel
a lot more pleasure than they do pain.
- Tony Robbins

Most men pursue pleasure with such breathless haste
that they hurry past it.
- Soren Kierkegaard

Only he is successful in his business who makes that pursuit
which affords him the highest pleasure sustain him.
- Henry David Thoreau

A new friend is like new wine;
when it has aged you will drink it with pleasure.
- Ecclesiastes 9:10

I believe that every human mind feels pleasure
in doing good to another.
- Thomas Jefferson

The noblest pleasure is the joy of understanding.
- Leonardo da Vinci

To give pleasure to a single heart by a single act
is better than a thousand heads bowing in prayer.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Pleasure disappoints, possibility never
- Soren Kierkegaard

The great pleasure in life is doing
what people say you cannot do.
- Walter Bagehot

Liberty is to the collective body,
what health is to every individual body.
Without health no pleasure can be tasted by man;
without liberty, no happiness can be enjoyed by society.
- Thomas Jefferson

Allow the president to invade a neighboring nation,
whenever he shall deem it necessary to repel an invasion,
and you allow him to do so whenever he may choose
to say he deems it necessary for such a purpose -
and you allow him to make war at pleasure.
- Abraham Lincoln

When one has the feeling of dislike for evil,
when one feels tranquil,
one finds pleasure in listening to good teachings;
when one has these feelings and appreciates them,
one is free of fear.
- The Buddha

If I were to wish for anything,
I should not wish for wealth and power,
but for the passionate sense of potential -
for the eye which, ever young and ardent, sees the possible.
Pleasure disappoints; possibility never.
- Soren Kierkegaard

The greatest battle of all is simply... Life.
This is no child's game. This is the big one -
the Super Bowl - the Game of all games.
The rules of Life are unwritten and unknown.
Perhaps, one could say that there are no rules.
The Judge has ultimate power.
She can call the game at any time - for any reason.
The penalties in the Game are completely arbitrary -
in both timing and severity.
Penalty for what, we ask?
The Judge is silent.
How can I win the Game?
"You can never win," comes the answer,
"So just take pleasure in playing the Game."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

There are nine requisites for contented living:
HEALTH enough to make work a pleasure;
WEALTH enough to support your needs;
STRENGTH enough to battle with difficulties and forsake them;
GRACE enough to confess your sins and overcome them;
PATIENCE enough to toil until some good is accomplished;
CHARITY enough to see some good in your neighbor;
LOVE enough to move you to be useful and helpful to others;
FAITH enough to make real the things of God;
HOPE enough to remove all anxious fears concerning the future.
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Man can never know the kind of loneliness a woman knows.
Man lies in a woman's womb only to gather strength,
he nourishes himself from this fusion,
and then he rises and goes into the world,
into his work, into battle, into art.
He is not lonely. He is busy.
The memory of the swim in amniotic fluid gives him energy, completion.
The woman may be busy too, but she feels empty.
Sensuality for her is not only a wave of pleasure
in which she has bathed,
and a charge of electric joy at contact with another.
When man lies in her womb, she is fulfilled,
each act of love a a taking of man within her,
an act of birth and rebirth, of child-bearing and man-bearing.
Man lies in her womb and is reborn each time anew
with a desire to act, to BE.
But for woman, the climax is not in the birth,
but in the moment the man rests inside of her.
- Anais Nin

False facts are highly injurious to the progress of science,
for they often endure long; but false views,
if supported by some evidence, do little harm,
for every one takes a salutary pleasure in proving their falseness.
- Charles Darwin

Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer

No one knows what's next, but everybody does it.
- George Carlin

Marriage has no guarantees.
If that's what you're looking for,
go live with a car battery.
- Erma Bombeck

And you just gotta remember, Sparky -
no matter what they tell you - you can NEVER have too much sugar.
- the movie Michael (1996)

Television has a real problem. They have no page two.
- Art Buchwald

There's no reason to become alarmed,
and we hope you'll enjoy the rest of your flight.
By the way, is there anyone on board who knows how to fly a plane?
- the movie Airplane!

No one can have a higher opinion of you than I have,
and I think you're a slimy, contemptible sewer rat!
- the movie The Great Mouse Detective

I have no fear of the gallows ... They're going to shoot me.
- the movie Love and Death

No matter how much cats fight,
there always seem to be plenty of kittens.
- Abraham Lincoln

Mr. President, I'm not saying we wouldn't get our hair mussed.
But I do say no more than ten to twenty million killed, tops.
Uh, depending on the breaks.
- the movie Dr. Strangelove

No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous

One cannot have everything the way he would like it.
A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment,
anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.
- Mark Twain

A honeymoon should be like a table:
four bare legs and no drawers.
- Anonymous

Oh no, I can't do anything to the death.
Doctor's orders. You see, I have this ulcer condition,
and death is the worst thing for it.
- the movie Love and Death

When I eventually met Mr. Right
I had no idea that his first name was Always.
- Rita Rudner

Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life, son.
- the movie National Lampoon's Animal House (1978)

A man's friendships are, like his will,
invalidated by marriage -
but they are also no less invalidated
by the marriage of his friends.
- Samuel Butler

Faced with the choice between changing one's mind
and proving that there is no need to do so,
almost everyone gets busy on the proof.
- John Kenneth Galbraith

It has been my experience that folks who
have no vices, have very few virtues.
- Abraham Lincoln

The way to silence religious disputes is to take no notice of them.
- Thomas Jefferson

It is the things for which there is no evidence
that are believed with passion.
- Bertrand Russell

Early in life I had to choose between honest arrogance
and hypocritical humility.
I chose the former and have seen no reason to change.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

There is no use whatsoever trying to help
people who do not help themselves.
You cannot push anyone up a ladder
unless he is willing to climb himself.
- Andrew Carnegie

Computers are like Old Testament gods;
lots of rules and no mercy.
- Joseph Campbell

If at first you don't succeed,
try, try, and try again.
Then give up.
There's no use being a damned fool about it.
- W. C. Fields

Principles have no real force except when one is well-fed.
- Mark Twain

No one was ever named "Hero" for following the crowd.
Heroes set their own course.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

It's not the men in your life that counts,
it's the life in your men.
- Mae West, in the movie I'm No Angel

He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.
- Oscar Wilde

The fear of death is the most unjustified of all fears,
for there's no risk of accident for someone who's dead.
- Albert Einstein

When all think alike, no one is thinking very much.
- Walter Lippmann

A clever man commits no minor blunders.
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

The man who does not read good books
has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
- Mark Twain

I am no longer young enough to know everything.
- Oscar Wilde

There is no such thing as public opinion.
There is only published opinion.
- Winston Churchill

Some things will never seem adequate
no matter how hard we try.
- from the movie White Man's Burden

An excellent man;
he has no enemies;
and none of his friends like him.
- Oscar Wilde

I find that principles have no real force
except when one is well fed.
- Mark Twain

Clothes make the man.
Naked people have little or no influence on society.
- Mark Twain

Against logic there is no armor like ignorance.
- Laurence J. Peter


Thank you for visiting: Funny Pleasures Quotes - Funny Quotes about Pleasures.

Please sign up on the form below to receive
my Free Daily Inspiration - Daily Quotes email.

You can also search my large collection of Funny Quotes.

May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


Funny Quotes

 


All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.