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Let these funny Handling Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
Governing a great nation is like cooking a small fish -
too much handling will spoil it.
- Lao Tzu
There's a couple of things they don't teach you
in Harvard Business School,
one is how to cope with defeat,
the other is how to handle a shotgun.
- The Simpsons Movie (2007)
Every tomorrow has two handles.
We can take hold of it with the handle of anxiety
or the handle of faith.
- Henry Ward Beecher
The size of your success is measured by
the strength of your desire;
the size of your dream;
and how you handle disappointment along the way.
- Robert Kiyosaki
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It seems that we have it backward in our society.
We tend to look up to people
who are under a great deal of stress,
who can handle loads of stress,
and those who are under a great deal of pressure.
- Richard Carlson
Always take hold of things by the smooth handle.
- Thomas Jefferson
I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure.
I make mistakes, I am out of control
and at times hard to handle.
But if you can't handle me at my worst,
then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.
- Marilyn Monroe
You can live the life you love -
even in the face of the most challenging circumstances.
While sometimes it may appear that life throws more obstacles
in your path than you can handle,
you can always choose to be happy.
Yes, you are that powerful.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I know God will not give me anything I can't handle.
I just wish he didn't trust me so much.
- Mother Teresa
People in their handlings of affairs
often fail when they are about to succeed.
If one remains as careful at the end
as he was at the beginning,
there will be no failure.
- Lao Tzu
It is a mistake to look too far ahead.
Only one link in the chain of destiny
can be handled at a time.
- Winston Churchill
A person who never made a mistake
never tried anything new.
- Albert Einstein
He who joyfully marches in rank and file
has already earned my contempt.
He has been given a large brain by mistake,
since for him the spinal cord would suffice.
- Albert Einstein
The greatest mistake you can make in life
is to be continually fearing you will make one.
- Elbert Hubbard
Knowledge rests not upon truth alone, but upon error also.
- Carl Jung
It is unwise to be too sure of one's own wisdom.
It is healthy to be reminded that the strongest
might weaken and the wisest might err.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Freedom is not worth having if it
does not connote freedom to err.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
To err is human, to forgive divine.
- Alexander Pope
I claim to be a simple individual liable
to err like any other fellow mortal.
I own, however, that I have humility enough
to confess my errors and to retrace my steps.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
He who never made a mistake,
never made a discovery.
- Samuel Smiles
Our major obligation is not to mistake slogans for solutions.
- Edward R. Murrow
Anyone who has never made a mistake,
has never tried anything new.
- Albert Einstein
Let me never fall into the vulgar mistake of dreaming
that I am persecuted whenever I am contradicted.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Guilt says I've done something wrong;
... shame says there is something wrong with me.
Guilt says I've made a mistake;
... shame says I am a mistake.
Guilt says what did was not good;
... shame says I am no good.
- John Bradshaw
The biggest mistake we could ever make in our lives
is to think we work for anybody but ourselves.
- Brian Tracy
Without music, life would be a mistake...
I would only believe in a God who knew how to dance.
- Friedrich Nietzsche
Many people mistake our work for our vocation.
Our vocation is the love of Jesus.
- Mother Teresa
I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner
The only fool bigger than the person who knows it all
is the person who argues with him.
- Stanislaw Jerszy Lec
I've become the person I've always hated, but I'm happier.
- the Woody Allen movie Celebrity
The person who says it cannot be done
should not interrupt the person who is doing it.
- Chinese proverb
Credit is a system whereby a person who can't pay
gets another person who can't pay
to guarantee that he can pay.
- Charles Dickens
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism.
To steal from many is research.
- Anonymous
Think of how stupid the average person is,
and realize half of them are stupider than that.
- George Carlin
And you, Sonja, you look more beautiful
standing here than you do in person.
- the movie Love and Death (1975)
What would be the use of immortality to a person
who cannot use well a half an hour.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Inside every cynical person,
there is a disappointed idealist.
- George Carlin
I can't go back to yesterday -
because I was a different person then.
- Lewis Carroll
Tell me about a person's family, friends, and community,
and I'll tell you what his opinions are.
- Mark Twain
(paraphrase)
What sane person could live in this world and not be crazy?
- Ursula K. Le Guin
A person is smart. People are dumb,
panicky dangerous animals and you know it.
Fifteen hundred years ago everybody knew
the Earth was the center of the universe.
Five hundred years ago,
everybody knew the Earth was flat,
and fifteen minutes ago,
you knew that humans were alone on this planet.
Imagine what you'll know tomorrow.
- the movie Men in Black
Man is least himself when he talks in his own person.
Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth.
- Oscar Wilde
Love is when the other person's happiness
is more important than your own.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
Friendship is born at that moment
when one person says to another,
"What! You too? I thought I was the only one."
- C. S. Lewis
It takes a long while for a naturally trustful person
to reconcile himself to the idea that
after all God will not help him
- H. L. Mencken
We are afraid to care too much, for fear
that the other person does not care at all.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
Truth is absolute, but only to one person.
My truth is absolute to me, and your truth is absolute to you.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The person who you're with most in life is yourself
and if you don't like yourself,
you're always with somebody you don't like.
- Marc S. Lewis
A competent and self-confident person is
incapable of jealousy in anything.
Jealousy is invariably a symptom of neurotic insecurity.
- Robert A. Heinlein
Resenting someone is a way of never leaving that person.
- Kare Anderson
No person was ever honored for what he received.
Honor has been the reward for what he gave.
- Calvin Coolidge
The shoe that fits one person pinches another;
there is no recipe for living that suits all cases.
- Carl Jung
The moment a person forms a theory,
his imagination sees in every object
only the traits which favor that theory.
- Thomas Jefferson
A person who trusts no one can't be trusted.
- Jerome Blattner
Jealousy is that pain which a man feels
from the apprehension that he is not equally beloved
by the person whom he entirely loves.
- Joseph Addison
Resenting someone, or hating someone, ensures that
you can never emotionally escape that person.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Being unwanted, unloved, uncared for, forgotten by everybody,
I think that is a much greater hunger,
a much greater poverty than the person who has nothing to eat.
- Mother Teresa
We know what a person thinks not when he tells us
what he thinks, but by his actions.
- Isaac Bashevis Singe
Good for who? Good for what?
There is no absolute "good."
"Good" is simply one person's preference.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
If the person you are talking to doesn't appear to be listening, be patient.
It may simply be that he has a small piece of fluff in his ear.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)
We have nearly complete misunderstanding between
people of different faiths in Lake Wobegon,
and that's probably one reason why we get along so very well.
It's when you are trying to convince another person to think
the same way that you do that there is
friction and trouble between people.
But when you feel that the other person is
dumber than dirt, too dumb for words -
why waste your breath - you get along pretty well.
There's no bond between people that's quite so strong as
when people each feel slightly superior towards the other one.
- Garrison Keillor
It was high counsel that I once heard given to a young person,
"Always do what you are afraid to do."
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Never say goodbye when you still want to try,
never give up when you still feel you can't take it.
Never say you don't love the person anymore
when you can't let go.
- Anonymous
A person isn't who they are during
the last conversation you had with them -
they're who they've been
throughout your whole relationship.
- Rainer Maria Rilke
The most pathetic person in the world
is someone who has sight, but has no vision.
- Helen Keller
If one does not understand a person,
one tends to regard him as a fool.
- Carl Jung
An unclean person is universally a slothful one.
- Henry David Thoreau
It hurts to love someone
and not be loved in return,
but what is more painful is to love
someone and never find the courage
to let that person know how you feel.
- Anonymous
There is an optical illusion about every person we meet.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Never allow a person to tell you NO
who doesn't have the power to say YES.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
I recognize that the person I was in my past
is not the person I am today.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.