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Let these funny Governing Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
Governing a great nation is like cooking a small fish -
too much handling will spoil it.
- Lao Tzu
In dwelling, live close to the ground.
In thinking, keep to the simple.
In conflict, be fair and generous.
In governing, don't try to control.
In work, do what you enjoy.
In family life, be completely present.
- Lao Tzu
There is an orderliness in the universe,
there is an unalterable law governing everything
and every being that exists or lives.
It is no blind law; for no blind law can govern
the conduct of living beings.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Sometimes it is said that man cannot be trusted
with the government of himself.
Can he, then be trusted with the government of others?
Or have we found angels in the form of kings to govern him?
Let history answer this question.
- Thomas Jefferson
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Education makes people easy to lead, but difficult to drive;
easy to govern, but impossible to enslave.
- Henry Peter Brougham
I have no fear that the result of our experiment
will be that men may be trusted to
govern themselves without a master.
- Thomas Jefferson
Govern a great nation as you would cook a small fish.
Do not overdo it.
- Lao Tzu
No man is good enough to govern another man
without that other's consent.
- Abraham Lincoln
I have no ambition to govern men; it is a painful and thankless office.
- Thomas Jefferson
That government is best which governs the least,
because its people discipline themselves.
- Thomas Jefferson
I will not be governed by the tyranny of immediacy.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
The consent of the governed is not consent if it is not informed.
- Edward Snowden
Happiness doesn't depend on any external conditions,
it is governed by our mental attitude.
- Dale Carnegie
We can allow satellites, planets, suns, universe,
nay whole systems of universes, to be governed by laws,
but the smallest insect, we wish
to be created at once by special act.
- Charles Darwin
In all things and in all ways,
choice impacts virtually every element of our life.
It bears repeating that even those things
which seem out of reach of our choice
are governed by how we choose to perceive them.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits
and then complain that he's not the man she married?
- Barbra Streisand
Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer
If you are not one of us, you are one of them.
- the movie The Matrix (1999)
It's not the size of the dog in the fight,
it's the size of the fight in the dog.
- Mark Twain
Live life on the edge, not with an edge.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
"It's not that important,
don't worry about it" is the answer,
now what was the question?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous
I care not much for a man's religion
whose dog and cat are not the better for it.
- Abraham Lincoln
Women marry men hoping they will change.
Men marry women hoping they will not.
- Albert Einstein
It's not the men in your life that counts,
it's the life in your men.
- Mae West, in the movie I'm No Angel
One does not leave a convivial party before closing time.
- Winston Churchill
I'm not used to feeling so human.
Is it always like this?
- Edward, from Twilight Saga by Stephenie Meyer
Yeah I called her up. She gave me a bunch of ...
about me not listening to her, or something.
I don't know, I wasn't really paying attention.
- the movie Dumb & Dumber (1994)
Two things are infinite:
the universe and human stupidity;
and I'm not sure about the universe.
- Albert Einstein
When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain.
- Mark Twain
Yield to temptation. It may not pass your way again.
- Robert A. Heinlein
Personally, I'm always ready to learn,
although I do not always like being taught.
- Winston Churchill
The key is, to not think of death as an end,
but as more of a very effective way to cut down on your expenses.
- the movie Love and Death
I'm not talking about lust.
A woman in lust wants chocolate.
A woman in love wants diamonds.
- the movie How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks.
She's not marrying the best man.
- Anonymous
The most important words in the English language
are not "I love you" but "It's benign."
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
Marriage is a fine institution -
but I'm not ready for an institution yet.
- Mae West
Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for.
- Will Rogers
Damn it boss, I like you too much not to say it.
You've got everything except one thing: madness!
- the movie Zorba The Greek
Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.
- Albert Einstein
DON'T get officious.
You're not yourself when you're officious -
That is the curse of a government job.
- the movie Harold and Maude (1971)
I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.
- Anonymous
Do not marry a man to reform him.
That is what reform schools are for.
- Mae West
Mr. President, I'm not saying we wouldn't get our hair mussed.
But I do say no more than ten to twenty million killed, tops.
Uh, depending on the breaks.
- the movie Dr. Strangelove
If at first you don't succeed,
skydiving is not for you.
- Anonymous
Never argue at the dinner table, for the one who is not hungry
always gets the best of the argument.
- Voltaire
In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland
Do not use a hatchet to remove
a fly from your friend's forehead.
- Chinese Proverb
I do not believe that civilization will be wiped out
in a war fought with the atomic bomb.
Perhaps two-thirds of the people of the earth will be killed.
- Albert Einstein
Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth
until the hour of separation.
- Khalil Gibran
There is no use whatsoever trying to help
people who do not help themselves.
You cannot push anyone up a ladder
unless he is willing to climb himself.
- Andrew Carnegie
I'm sure we all agree that we ought to love one another
and I know there are people in the world
that do not love their fellow human beings
and I HATE people like that.
- Tom Lehrer
Do not speak to me of rules.
This is war! This is not a game of cricket!
- from the movie The Bridge On The River Kwai
It's not much of a tail, but I'm sort of attached to it.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)
The most difficult phase of life
is not when no one understands you,
it is when you don't understand yourself.
- Anonymous
The church is always trying to get other people to reform;
it might not be a bad idea to reform itself a little,
by way of example.
- Mark Twain
What sane person could live in this world and not be crazy?
- Ursula K. Le Guin
It's not a mess.
It's a physical manifestation of
a wonderfully complex ability to
assess and compartmentalize information.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
If Christ were here now there is one thing
he would not be - a Christian.
- Mark Twain
I once had a rose named after me
and I was very flattered.
But I was not pleased to read
the description in the catalogue:
no good in a bed, but fine up against a wall.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
It's not clutter, it's my unique filing system.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Confused Memories of Childhood:
Hate to my father, cruel hate,
confused with love - a mix not great.
The man I love - the man I hate;
the man I want to emulate.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
One does not discover new lands without consenting
to lose sight of the shore for a very long time.
- Andre Gide
I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man,
and I hate people like that!
- Tom Lehrer
It's not very heroic to slay dragons.
Dragons are generally very peaceful and well behaved.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
As far as the laws of mathematics
refer to reality, they are not certain,
and as far as they are certain,
they do not refer to reality.
- Albert Einstein
For centuries, theologians have been explaining
the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-knowing.
- H. L. Mencken
We are finally driven to monogamy
not by morality but by exhaustion.
- Erica Jong
Silence is not always a Sign of Wisdom,
but Babbling is ever a folly.
- Benjamin Franklin
Genius may have its limitations,
but stupidity is not thus handicapped.
- Elbert Hubbard
Feeling sorry for yourself, and your present condition,
is not only a waste of energy
but the worst habit you could possibly have.
- Dale Carnegie
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.