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Let these funny Edward Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
If you wait for opportunities to occur,
you will be one of the crowd.
- Edward de Bono
Of all the things that could frighten you,
you worry about my driving?
- Edward, from Twilight saga by Stephenie Meyer
I'm not used to feeling so human.
Is it always like this?
- Edward, from Twilight Saga by Stephenie Meyer
People say conversation is a lost art;
how often I have wished it were.
- Edward R. Murrow
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Anyone who isn't confused,
really doesn't understand the situation.
- Edward R. Murrow
Just once in a while, let us exalt
the importance of ideas and information.
- Edward R. Murrow
If we were to do the Second Coming of Christ
in color for a full hour,
there would be a considerable number of stations
which would decline to carry it on the grounds
that a Western or a quiz show would be more profitable.
- Edward R. Murrow
Everyone is a prisoner of his own experiences.
No one can eliminate prejudices -
just recognize them.
- Edward R. Murrow
Most truths are so naked
that people feel sorry for them
and cover them up,
at least a little bit.
- Edward R. Murrow
No one can terrorize a whole nation,
unless we are all his accomplices.
- Edward R. Murrow
The making of friends, who are real friends,
is the best token we have of a man's success in life.
- Edward Everett Hale
We cannot defend freedom abroad by deserting it at home.
- Edward R. Murrow
Difficulty is the excuse history never accepts.
- Edward R. Murrow
Walking takes longer...
than any other known form of locomotion except crawling.
Thus it stretches time and prolongs life.
Life is already too short to waste on speed.
- Edward Abbey
Education is a better safeguard of liberty than a standing army.
- Edward Everett
The consent of the governed is not consent if it is not informed.
- Edward Snowden
Procrastination is the thief of time.
- Edward Young
Today is the first and last day of forever.
- Edward, from Twilight saga by Stephenie Meyer
A reporter is always concerned with tomorrow.
There's nothing tangible of yesterday.
All I can say I've done is
agitate the air ten or fifteen minutes
and then boom - it's gone.
- Edward R. Murrow
Just because your voice reaches halfway around the world
doesn't mean you are wiser
than when it reached only to the end of the bar.
- Edward R. Murrow
Good night, and good luck.
- Edward R. Murrow
Fame is morally neutral.
- Edward R. Murrow
The speed of communications is wondrous to behold.
It is also true that speed can multiply
the distribution of information that we know to be untrue.
- Edward R. Murrow
We will not be driven by fear into an age of unreason
if we dig deep in our history and remember
that we are not descended from fearful men,
not from men who feared to write, to speak,
to associate and to defend causes
which were for the moment unpopular.
- Edward R. Murrow
The politician in my country seeks votes,
affection and respect, in that order.
With few notable exceptions,
they are simply men who want to be loved.
- Edward R. Murrow
To be persuasive, we must be believable;
to be believable, we must be credible;
to be credible, we must be truthful.
- Edward R. Murrow
We cannot make good news out of bad practice.
- Edward R. Murrow
We must not confuse dissent with disloyalty.
When the loyal opposition dies,
I think the soul of America dies with it.
- Edward R. Murrow
The obscure we see eventually.
The completely obvious,
it seems, takes longer.
- Edward R. Murrow
Our major obligation is not to mistake slogans for solutions.
- Edward R. Murrow
We will not walk in fear, one of another.
We are not descended from fearful men,
Not from men who feared to write, to speak,
To associate and to defend causes
which were for the moment unpopular.
This is no time... to keep silent.
- Edward R. Murrow
A satellite has no conscience.
- Edward R. Murrow
The newest computer can merely compound, at speed,
the oldest problem in the relations between human beings,
and in the end the communicator will be confronted with the old problem,
of what to say and how to say it.
- Edward R. Murrow
It is a wonderful advantage to a man,
in every pursuit or avocation,
to secure an adviser in a sensible woman.
In woman there is at once a subtle delicacy of tact,
and a plain soundness of judgement,
which are rarely combined to an equal degree in man.
A woman, if she be really your friend,
will have a sensitive regard for your character, honor, repute.
She will seldom counsel you to do a shabby thing:
for a woman friend always desires to be proud of you.
- Edward Bulwer-Lytton
Love conquers all things except poverty and a toothache.
- Mae West
One good Husband is worth two good Wives;
for the scarcer things are, the more they're valued.
- Benjamin Franklin
Two things are infinite:
the universe and human stupidity;
and I'm not sure about the universe.
- Albert Einstein
Still, things could be a lot worse.
Oh, that's right... I'm falling to my death. Guess they can't.
- the movie Megamind (2010)
What this country needs is a credit card for
charging things to experience.
- Tom Wilson
You'll live to be a hundred if you give up
all the things that make you want to.
- the movie Interiors
Oh, Shrek. Don't worry.
Things just seem bad because it's dark and rainy
and Fiona's father hired a sleazy hitman to whack you.
- the movie Shrek 2
There are two things that are more difficult
than making an after-dinner speech:
climbing a wall which is leaning toward you
and kissing a girl who is leaning away from you.
- Winston Churchill
There's a couple of things they don't teach you
in Harvard Business School,
one is how to cope with defeat,
the other is how to handle a shotgun.
- The Simpsons Movie (2007)
True believers just don't see things the way they are,
because if they did, they wouldn't be true believers anymore.
- Philip Caputo
I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful,
natural, wholesome things that money can buy.
- Steve Martin
Things have never been more like the way they are today in history.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
Only two things are infinite,
the universe and human stupidity,
and I'm not sure about the former.
- Albert Einstein
The trouble with having an open mind, of course,
is that people will insist on coming along
and trying to put things in it.
- Terry Pratchett
"The time has come," the walrus said, "to talk of many things:
of shoes and ships - and sealing wax - of cabbages and kings."
- Lewis Carroll
Some things will never seem adequate
no matter how hard we try.
- from the movie White Man's Burden
Few things are harder to put up with
than the annoyance of a good example.
- Mark Twain
Sometimes I've believed as many as
six impossible things before breakfast.
- Lewis Carroll
The devil has put a penalty on all things we enjoy in life.
Either we suffer in health or we suffer in soul or we get fat.
- Albert Einstein
Facts are stubborn things,
but statistics are more pliable.
- Laurence J. Peter
Too many people spend money they haven't earned,
to buy things they don't want,
to impress people they don't like.
- Will Rogers
It is the things for which there is no evidence
that are believed with passion.
- Bertrand Russell
Things may come to those who wait,
but only the things left by those who hustle.
- Abraham Lincoln
Except in cases of necessity, which are rare,
leave your friend to learn
unpleasant things from his enemies;
they are ready enough to tell them.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.
Two things a man should never be angry at:
what he can help,
and what he cannot help.
- Thomas Fuller
The trouble with the world is not
that people know too little,
but that they know so many things that ain't so.
- Mark Twain
Why, sometimes I've believed as many as
six impossible things before breakfast.
- Lewis Carroll
The man who can smile when things go wrong
has thought of someone else he can blame it on.
- Robert Bloch
I Dream This Day of Wondrous Things,
of Peace and Hope and Pride.
I Dance My Dance with Life Today,
I'm Filled with Love Inside.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
We don't see things as they are,
we see things as we are.
- Anais Nin
A time for work, a time for play -
balance in all things.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Capitalism tries for a delicate balance:
It attempts to work things out so that
everyone gets just enough stuff to keep them from
getting violent and trying to take other people's stuff.
- George Carlin
Everything is a miracle,
not just the beautiful and lovely things.
- Anonymous
Sometimes I wonder if we shall ever grow up
in our politics and say definite things which mean something,
or whether we shall always go on using generalities
to which everyone can subscribe, and which mean very little.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
All things share the same breath -
the beast, the tree, the man...
the air shares its spirit with all the life it supports.
- Chief Seattle (attributed)
Our lives begin to end the day we become silent
about things that matter.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
Joy is what happens to us when we allow ourselves
to recognize how good things really are.
- Marianne Williamson
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.