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Let these funny Absurdities Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
Finish each day and be done with it.
You have done what you could;
some blunders and absurdities have crept in;
forget them as soon as you can.
Tomorrow is a new day;
you shall begin it serenely
and with too high a spirit
to be encumbered with your old nonsense.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
In soloing - as in other activities -
it is far easier to start something
than it is to finish it.
- Amelia Earhart
Life is a journey. It is not a race to test
who can finish first or who can end up with the most loot.
Rather, life is best enjoyed as a meander -
watching the view to left and right - above and below -
as the days slowly move past in dress review.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
In choosing joy, the finish line dissolves
into a different matter altogether.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
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A truly good book teaches me better than to read it.
I must soon lay it down, and commence living on its hint.
What I began by reading, I must finish by acting.
- Henry David Thoreau
All endeavor calls for the ability
to tramp the last mile,
shape the last plan, endure the last hours toil.
The fight to the finish spirit is the one...
characteristic we must posses
if we are to face the future as finishers.
- Henry David Thoreau
With Malice toward none, with charity for all,
with firmness in the right,
as God gives us to see the right,
let us strive on to finish the work we are in,
to bind up the nation's wounds.
- Abraham Lincoln
There's a couple of things they don't teach you
in Harvard Business School,
one is how to cope with defeat,
the other is how to handle a shotgun.
- The Simpsons Movie (2007)
Half the world is composed of idiots,
the other half, of people clever enough
to take indecent advantage of them.
- Walter Kerr
The time-traveling is just too dangerous.
Better that I devote myself to study
the other great mystery of the universe - women!
- the movie Back to the Future II
Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits.
- Mark Twain
Knowing your own darkness is the best method
for dealing with the darknesses of other people.
- Carl Jung
In life you are given two ends;
one to think with and the other to sit on.
Your success in life depends on which end you use most.
Heads you win, tails you lose.
- Conrad Burns
Experience keeps a dear school,
but fools will learn in no other.
- Benjamin Franklin
A New Year's resolution is something that
goes in one Year and out the other.
- Anonymous
Do you feel stuck?
Whether in a project, a job, a relationship,
or some other situation,
there is a time for perseverance,
and a time for letting go and moving on.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
History teaches us that men and nations behave wisely
only after they have exhausted all other alternatives.
- Abba Eban
Let your sympathies and your compassion
be always with the under dog in the fight -
this is magnanimity;
but bet on the other one - this is business.
- Mark Twain
Be smarter than other people, just don't tell them so.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
I have great hopes that we shall love each other all our lives
as much as if we had never married at all.
- Lord Byron
Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans.
- John Lennon
The church is always trying to get other people to reform;
it might not be a bad idea to reform itself a little,
by way of example.
- Mark Twain
The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American
recently passed each other in opposite directions.
- George Carlin
Thaw with her gentle persuasion is more powerful
than Thor with his hammer.
The one melts, the other breaks into pieces.
- Henry David Thoreau
When written in Chinese, the word "crisis"
is composed of two characters.
One represents danger and the other represents opportunity.
- John F. Kennedy
Difference of opinion is advantageous in religion.
The several sects perform the office of a Censor -
over each other.
- Thomas Jefferson
I am sorry to say that there is too much point to the wisecrack
that life is extinct on other planets
because their scientists were more advanced than ours.
- John F. Kennedy
If (s)he's an apple and you're an orange,
celebrate your differences -
make a great fruit salad.
Love isn't about being the same -
it's about being sweet with each other.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
If we have no peace,
it is because we have forgotten
that we belong to each other.
- Mother Teresa
I contend that we are both atheists.
I just believe in one fewer god than you do.
When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible gods,
you will understand why I dismiss yours.
- Stephen Roberts
Love is when the other person's happiness
is more important than your own.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
I am not the same having seen the moon shine
on the other side of the world.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
There are only two ways to live your life.
One is as though nothing is a miracle.
The other is as though everything is a miracle.
- Albert Einstein
Could a greater miracle take place
than for us to look through each other's eyes for an instant?
- Henry David Thoreau
We will not learn how to live together in peace
by killing each other's children.
- Jimmy Carter
The greatest lovers are like twin blooms,
each reflecting the passion and the glory of the other.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Fear defeats more people than
any other one thing in the world.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Capitalism tries for a delicate balance:
It attempts to work things out so that
everyone gets just enough stuff to keep them from
getting violent and trying to take other people's stuff.
- George Carlin
Nothing other people do is because of you.
It is because of themselves
- don Miguel Ruiz
Each man's life touches so many other lives.
- It's a Wonderful Life (1946 movie)
Don't look for approval from anyone other than yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
A life is not important except in
the impact it has on other lives.
- Jackie Robinson (baseball player)
Good manners sometimes means simply
putting up with other people's bad manners.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
We are injured and hurt emotionally,
not so much by other people
or what they say and don't say,
but by our own attitude and our own response.
- Maxwell Maltz
Happiness blooms
in the presence of self-respect
and the absence of ego.
Love yourself.
Love everyone around you.
Love everyone in the whole world.
Know that your own life is of infinite importance,
as is every other life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Real excellence and humility are
not incompatible one with the other,
on the contrary they are twin sisters.
- Jean Baptiste Lacordaire
Other people do not have to change
for us to experience peace of mind.
- Gerald Jampolsky
Every man has his own courage,
and is betrayed because he seeks in himself
the courage of other persons.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
We have nearly complete misunderstanding between
people of different faiths in Lake Wobegon,
and that's probably one reason why we get along so very well.
It's when you are trying to convince another person to think
the same way that you do that there is
friction and trouble between people.
But when you feel that the other person is
dumber than dirt, too dumb for words -
why waste your breath - you get along pretty well.
There's no bond between people that's quite so strong as
when people each feel slightly superior towards the other one.
- Garrison Keillor
If we are not happy and joyous at this season,
for what other season shall we wait and
for what other time shall we look?
- Abdul-Baha
Because we believe that our ethnic group,
our society, our political party, our God,
is better than your God, we kill each other.
- Neale Donald Walsch
We are afraid to care too much, for fear
that the other person does not care at all.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
Today is a day to honor other cultures.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
What's in a name? That which we call a rose
by any other name would smell as sweet
- William Shakespeare
Behind an able man there are always other able men.
- Chinese proverb
All other things being equal,
the simplest explanation is the most likely.
- a statement of Occam's Razor
Capital as such is not evil; it is its wrong use that is evil.
Capital in some form or other will always be needed.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
You cannot divorce religious belief and public service.
I've never detected any conflict between
God's will and my political duty.
If you violate one, you violate the other.
- Jimmy Carter
We all share unity with each other
and with the one Creator Spirit.
We are one.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Let us always meet each other with a smile,
for the smile is the beginning of love.
- Mother Teresa
There are always two forces warring against each other within us.
- Paramahansa Yogananda
Don't be trapped by dogma -
which is living with the results of other people's thinking.
Don't let the noise of other's opinions
drown out your own inner voice.
- Steve Jobs
The way to happiness is what I call Zero-Based Gratitude.
Each day be happy and grateful for what you have,
independent of yesterday and of other people.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
True love means putting the other person before yourself,
and honoring the relationship above all.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
If there is any one secret of success,
it lies in the ability to get
the other person's point of view
and see things from that person's angle
as well as from your own.
- Henry Ford
We gather today in gratitude for the bounty of the land,
the joyful company around this table,
and all the other blessings of this life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Many people allow their need
for other people's approval to control their lives.
They spend their lives worrying about what others think of them.
- Rick Warren
We win justice quickest by rendering
justice to the other party.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
When you make the sacrifice in marriage,
you're sacrificing not to each other
but to unity in a relationship.
- Joseph Campbell
The best way to enhance freedom in other lands
is to demonstrate here that our democratic system
is worthy of emulation.
- Jimmy Carter
What is our family?
We touch our full hearts and see ourselves
reflected whole in each other's eyes.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.