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Let these funny Transgressed Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
Laws are sand, customs are rock.
Laws can be evaded and punishment escaped,
but an openly transgressed custom brings sure punishment.
The penalty may be unfair, unrighteous, illogical, and a cruelty;
no matter, it will be inflicted, just the same.
Certainly, then, there can be but one wise thing
for a visiting stranger to do -
find out what the country's customs are,
and refrain from offending against them.
- Mark Twain
Customs do not concern themselves
with right or wrong or reason.
But they have to be obeyed;
one reasons all around them until he is tired,
but he must not transgress them, it is sternly forbidden.
- Mark Twain
Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits
and then complain that he's not the man she married?
- Barbra Streisand
Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer
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If you are not one of us, you are one of them.
- the movie The Matrix (1999)
It's not the size of the dog in the fight,
it's the size of the fight in the dog.
- Mark Twain
"It's not that important,
don't worry about it" is the answer,
now what was the question?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Live life on the edge, not with an edge.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.
- Anonymous
One does not leave a convivial party before closing time.
- Winston Churchill
I'm not used to feeling so human.
Is it always like this?
- Edward, from Twilight Saga by Stephenie Meyer
DON'T get officious.
You're not yourself when you're officious -
That is the curse of a government job.
- the movie Harold and Maude (1971)
Do not marry a man to reform him.
That is what reform schools are for.
- Mae West
I'm not talking about lust.
A woman in lust wants chocolate.
A woman in love wants diamonds.
- the movie How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
Women marry men hoping they will change.
Men marry women hoping they will not.
- Albert Einstein
It's not the men in your life that counts,
it's the life in your men.
- Mae West, in the movie I'm No Angel
It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks.
She's not marrying the best man.
- Anonymous
Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.
- Albert Einstein
The most important words in the English language
are not "I love you" but "It's benign."
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
Yield to temptation. It may not pass your way again.
- Robert A. Heinlein
When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain.
- Mark Twain
Two things are infinite:
the universe and human stupidity;
and I'm not sure about the universe.
- Albert Einstein
Personally, I'm always ready to learn,
although I do not always like being taught.
- Winston Churchill
Marriage is a fine institution -
but I'm not ready for an institution yet.
- Mae West
If at first you don't succeed,
skydiving is not for you.
- Anonymous
I care not much for a man's religion
whose dog and cat are not the better for it.
- Abraham Lincoln
Damn it boss, I like you too much not to say it.
You've got everything except one thing: madness!
- the movie Zorba The Greek
Mr. President, I'm not saying we wouldn't get our hair mussed.
But I do say no more than ten to twenty million killed, tops.
Uh, depending on the breaks.
- the movie Dr. Strangelove
The key is, to not think of death as an end,
but as more of a very effective way to cut down on your expenses.
- the movie Love and Death
No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous
Yeah I called her up. She gave me a bunch of ...
about me not listening to her, or something.
I don't know, I wasn't really paying attention.
- the movie Dumb & Dumber (1994)
In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland
Never argue at the dinner table, for the one who is not hungry
always gets the best of the argument.
- Voltaire
Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for.
- Will Rogers
I am not young enough to know everything.
- Oscar Wilde
The holy passion of Friendship is of so sweet
and steady and loyal and enduring a nature
that it will last through a whole lifetime,
if not asked to lend money.
- Mark Twain
When dealing with people, remember you are
not dealing with creatures of logic,
but creatures of emotion.
- Dale Carnegie
I want to be the white man's brother, not his brother-in-law.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth
until the hour of separation.
- Khalil Gibran
The lawyer's truth is not Truth,
but consistency or a consistent expediency.
- Henry David Thoreau
It's not very heroic to slay dragons.
Dragons are generally very peaceful and well behaved.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
It's not a mess.
It's a physical manifestation of
a wonderfully complex ability to
assess and compartmentalize information.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Although personally I am quite content with existing explosives,
I feel we must not stand in the path of improvement.
- Winston Churchill
If you ask me anything I don't know,
I'm not going to answer.
- Yogi Berra
Man's nature is not essentially evil.
Brute nature has been known to
yield to the influence of love.
You must never despair of human nature.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
It's not much of a tail, but I'm sort of attached to it.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)
I once had a rose named after me
and I was very flattered.
But I was not pleased to read
the description in the catalogue:
no good in a bed, but fine up against a wall.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
Politics is such a torment that I advise everyone
I love not to mix with it.
- Thomas Jefferson
I do not believe in using women in combat,
because females are too fierce.
- Margaret Mead
The church is always trying to get other people to reform;
it might not be a bad idea to reform itself a little,
by way of example.
- Mark Twain
I'm sure we all agree that we ought to love one another
and I know there are people in the world
that do not love their fellow human beings
and I HATE people like that.
- Tom Lehrer
The mind is not a vessel to be filled
but a fire to be kindled.
- Plutarch
If you can not answer a man's argument,
all is not lost; you can still call him vile names.
- Elbert Hubbard
Do not use a hatchet to remove
a fly from your friend's forehead.
- Chinese Proverb
The objection to Puritans is not that
they try to make us think as they do,
but that they try to make us do as they think.
- H. L. Mencken
Do not bite at the bait of pleasure,
till you know there is no hook beneath it.
- Thomas Jefferson
Faith: not wanting to know what is true.
- Friedrich Nietzsche
One minute you're in the lunchroom at Glenwood High
and you ... blink and you're 40,
you blink again and you can see movies
at half price on a senior citizen's pass.
Ask not for whom the bell tolls, or to put it more accurately,
ask not for whom the toilet flushes.
- the Woody Allen movie Celebrity
We are finally driven to monogamy
not by morality but by exhaustion.
- Erica Jong
Too often the strong, silent man is silent only because
he does not know what to say, and is reputed strong
only because he has remained silent.
- Winston Churchill
Normal is not something to aspire to,
it's something to get away from.
- Jodie Foster
Do not take life too seriously.
You will never get out of it alive.
- Elbert Hubbard
A loyal friend laughs at your jokes
when they're not so good,
and sympathizes with your problems
when they're not so bad.
- Arnold H. Glasgow
It is only the poor who pay cash,
and that not from virtue,
but because they are refused credit.
- Anatole France
I do not fear death.
I had been dead for billions and billions
of years before I was born,
and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it.
- Mark Twain
The most difficult phase of life
is not when no one understands you,
it is when you don't understand yourself.
- Anonymous
The existence of an anthropomorphic
"Father-figure" deity is not impossible,
merely exceptionally improbable and illogical.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I am not afraid of storms
for I am learning how to sail my ship.
- Louisa May Alcott
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our Light, not our Darkness, that most frightens us.
- Marianne Williamson
For centuries, theologians have been explaining
the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-knowing.
- H. L. Mencken
A positive attitude may not solve all your problems,
but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.
- Herm Albright
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.