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Funny Wise Quotes
Funny Quotes about Wise

Let these funny Wise Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

He who knows others is wise.
He who knows himself is enlightened.
- Lao Tzu

A word to the wise ain't necessary -
it's the stupid ones that need the advice.
- Bill Cosby

Religion is regarded by the common people as true,
by the wise as false, and by the rulers as useful.
- Lucius Annaeus Seneca

I was wise enough to never grow up
while fooling most people into believing I had.
- Margaret Mead


 

The more he became truly wise,
the more he distrusted everything he knew.
- Voltaire

Take risks: if you win, you will be happy;
if you lose, you will be wise.
- Anonymous

No matter how dull, or how mean, or how wise a man is,
he feels that happiness is his indisputable right.
- Helen Keller


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A wise girl kisses but doesn't love,
listens but doesn't believe,
and leaves before she is left.
- Marilyn Monroe

Before beginning a Hunt, it is wise to ask someone
what you are looking for before you begin looking for it.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

Self-pity is our worst enemy
and if we yield to it,
we can never do anything wise in this world.
- Helen Keller

See no evil, Hear no evil, Speak no evil.
- Japanese pictorial maxim (the Three Wise Monkeys)

When you are winning a war
almost everything that happens
can be claimed to be right and wise.
- Winston Churchill

It is a wise father that knows his own child.
- William Shakespeare

If you wish to succeed in life,
make perseverance your bosom friend,
experience your wise counselor,
caution your elder brother,
and hope your guardian genius.
- Joseph Addison

Many receive advice, only the wise profit from it.
- Publilius Syrus

Wise sayings often fall on barren ground,
but a kind word is never thrown away.
- Arthur Helps

The teacher who is indeed wise does not bid you to
enter the house of his wisdom but rather leads you
to the threshold of your mind.
- Khalil Gibran

It is not fit that every man should travel;
it makes a wise man better,
and a fool worse.
- William Hazlitt

Don't follow any advice, no matter how good,
until you feel as deeply in your spirit as you think
in your mind that the counsel is wise.
- Joan Rivers

Everyone is wise, until he speaks.
- Irish proverb

Who is wise in love, love most, say least.
- Alfred Lord Tennyson

A wise man hears one word and understands two.
- Yiddish Proverb

Few of the many wise apothegms which have been uttered
have prevented a single foolish action.
- Thomas B. Macaulay

I have always been regretting that
I was not as wise as the day I was born.
- Henry David Thoreau

Some folks are wise and some are otherwise.
- Tobias Smollett

Wise kings generally have wise counselors;
and he must be a wise man himself who is capable of distinguishing one.
- Diogenes

Experience is the only prophecy of wise men.
- Alphonse de Lamartine

In seeking wisdom thou art wise; in imagining that thou hast attained it -
thou art a fool.
- Lord Chesterfield

Education, n.: That which discloses to the wise and
disguises from the foolish their lack of understanding.
- Ambrose Bierce

The wise man looks back into the past,
and does not grieve over what is far off,
nor rejoice over what is near;
for he knows that time is without end.
- Lao Tzu

A wise man is superior to any insults which can be put upon him,
and the best reply to unseemly behavior is patience and moderation.
- Moliere

No man was ever wise by chance.
- Lucius Annaeus Seneca

The two powers which in my opinion constitute a wise man
are those of bearing and forbearing.
- Epictetus

Almost every wise saying has an opposite one,
no less wise, to balance it.
- George Santayana

The art of being wise is the art of knowing what to overlook.
- William James

Wise men make more opportunities than they find.
- Francis Bacon

The wisdom of the wise and the experience of the ages
are perpetuated by quotations.
- Benjamin Disraeli

The foolish man seeks happiness in the distance;
the wise grows it under his feet.
- J. Robert Oppenheimer

A wise traveler never despises his own country.
- William Hazlitt

Life is a dream for the wise, a game for the fool,
a comedy for the rich, a tragedy for the poor.
- Sholom Aleichem

The wise person often shuns society for fear of being bored.
- Jean de la Bruyere

He who devotes sixteen hours a day to hard study may
become at sixty as wise as he thought himself at twenty.
- Mary Wilson Little

The wisdom of the wise is an uncommon degree of common sense.
- Dean Inge

The wise man in the storm prays God,
not for safety from danger,
but for deliverance from fear.
It is the storm within which endangers him,
not the storm without.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

The wise man looks into space,
and does not regard the small as too little,
nor the great as too much;
for he knows that there is no limit to dimensions.
- Lao Tzu

A wise man should have money in his head,
but not in his heart.
- Jonathan Swift

Better mad with the rest of the world than wise alone.
- Baltasar Gracian

From the errors of others, a wise man corrects his own.
- Publilius Syrus

The wise man does not lay up his own treasures.
The more he gives to others, the more he has for his own.
- Lao Tzu

Love is the joy of the good, the wonder of the wise,
the amazement of the Gods.
- Plato

Be happy.
It's one way of being wise.
- Sidonie Gabrielle Colette

Nine-tenths of wisdom is being wise in time.
- Theodore Roosevelt

When I can look life in the eyes, grown calm and very coldly wise,
life will have given me the truth, and taken in exchange -
my youth.
- Sara Teasdale

An optimist is a person who sees a green light everywhere,
while the pessimist sees only the red stoplight.
The truly wise person is colorblind.
- Albert Schweitzer

He is a wise man who does not grieve
for the things which he has not,
but rejoices for those which he has.
- Epictetus

A wise man can learn more from a foolish question
than a fool can learn from a wise answer.
- Bruce Lee

The wise ones fashioned speech with their thought,
sifting it as grain is sifted through a sieve.
- The Buddha

The wise musicians are those who play what they can master.
- Duke Ellington

It is the nature of the wise to resist pleasures,
but the foolish to be a slave to them.
- Epictetus

It is always wise to look ahead,
but difficult to look further than you can see.
- Winston Churchill

Wise men put their trust in ideas
and not in circumstances
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

It is impossible to imagine the universe run by a wise,
just and omnipotent God, but it is quite easy to imagine
it run by a board of gods.
- H. L. Mencken

Wise are those who learn that the bottom line doesn't
always have to be their top priority.
- William Arthur Ward

Neither a wise man nor a brave man lies down
on the tracks of history
to wait for the train of the future to run over him.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

A wise man will make haste to forgive,
because he knows the true value of time,
and will not suffer it to pass away in unnecessary pain.
- Samuel Johnson

You can tell whether a man is clever by his answers.
You can tell whether a man is wise by his questions.
- Naguib Mahfouz

Before God we are all equally wise - and equally foolish.
- Albert Einstein

Be as smart as you can, but remember that it is always
better to be wise than to be smart.
- Alan Alda

A fool flatters himself, a wise man flatters the fool.
- Robert Bulwer-Lytton

The wise does at once what the fool does at last.
- Baltasar Gracian

All this worldly wisdom was once
the unamiable heresy of some wise man.
- Henry David Thoreau


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