Enter one or two keywords to search these Funny Quotes.

Hint: keep it simple, like life twain



Facebook share   Tweet This   Email this

Funny Quotes about Life
Funny Quotes about Life | Funny Love Quotes | Links | About
Search:   A-   B-   Ca-   Co-   D-   E-   F-   G-   H-    I-    J-K-L   M-   N-O   Pa-   Pr-   Q-R   Sa-   Sk-   T-   U-V-W-X-Y-Z

Funny Wise Quotes
Funny Quotes about Wise

Let these funny Wise Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

He who knows others is wise.
He who knows himself is enlightened.
- Lao Tzu

Religion is regarded by the common people as true,
by the wise as false, and by the rulers as useful.
- Lucius Annaeus Seneca

I was wise enough to never grow up
while fooling most people into believing I had.
- Margaret Mead

The more he became truly wise,
the more he distrusted everything he knew.
- Voltaire


Get a Funny Quote of the Day each day by email or in your feed reader.

 Subscribe in a reader -- or
Enter your email address:




Delivered by FeedBurner


No matter how dull, or how mean, or how wise a man is,
he feels that happiness is his indisputable right.
- Helen Keller

Before beginning a Hunt, it is wise to ask someone
what you are looking for before you begin looking for it.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

See no evil, Hear no evil, Speak no evil.
- Japanese pictorial maxim (the Three Wise Monkeys)


 

A wise girl kisses but doesn't love,
listens but doesn't believe,
and leaves before she is left.
- Marilyn Monroe

Self-pity is our worst enemy
and if we yield to it,
we can never do anything wise in this world.
- Helen Keller

Take risks: if you win, you will be happy;
if you lose, you will be wise.
- Anonymous

If you wish to succeed in life,
make perseverance your bosom friend,
experience your wise counselor,
caution your elder brother,
and hope your guardian genius.
- Joseph Addison

The wise man in the storm prays God,
not for safety from danger,
but for deliverance from fear.
It is the storm within which endangers him,
not the storm without.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

You can tell whether a man is clever by his answers.
You can tell whether a man is wise by his questions.
- Naguib Mahfouz

It is noted that a stopped clock is correct twice each day.
In a similar manner, a person who is unchanging appears wise occasionally.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

All this worldly wisdom was once
the unamiable heresy of some wise man.
- Henry David Thoreau

An optimist is a person who sees a green light everywhere,
while the pessimist sees only the red stoplight.
The truly wise person is colorblind.
- Albert Schweitzer

Many receive advice, only the wise profit from it.
- Publilius Syrus

It is a wise father that knows his own child.
- William Shakespeare

A wise man will make haste to forgive,
because he knows the true value of time,
and will not suffer it to pass away in unnecessary pain.
- Samuel Johnson

The wise man looks back into the past,
and does not grieve over what is far off,
nor rejoice over what is near;
for he knows that time is without end.
- Lao Tzu

Everyone is wise, until he speaks.
- Irish proverb

Wise men put their trust in ideas
and not in circumstances
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

A wise man can learn more from a foolish question
than a fool can learn from a wise answer.
- Bruce Lee

The wise man looks into space,
and does not regard the small as too little,
nor the great as too much;
for he knows that there is no limit to dimensions.
- Lao Tzu

A wise man hears one word and understands two.
- Yiddish Proverb

The foolish man seeks happiness in the distance;
the wise grows it under his feet.
- J. Robert Oppenheimer

I have always been regretting that
I was not as wise as the day I was born.
- Henry David Thoreau

When you are winning a war
almost everything that happens
can be claimed to be right and wise.
- Winston Churchill

The two powers which in my opinion constitute a wise man
are those of bearing and forbearing.
- Epictetus

Neither a wise man nor a brave man lies down
on the tracks of history
to wait for the train of the future to run over him.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

It is the nature of the wise to resist pleasures,
but the foolish to be a slave to them.
- Epictetus

Early to bed and early to rise,
makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise.
- Benjamin Franklin

The wise ones fashioned speech with their thought,
sifting it as grain is sifted through a sieve.
- The Buddha

He is a wise man who does not grieve
for the things which he has not,
but rejoices for those which he has.
- Epictetus

It is always wise to look ahead,
but difficult to look further than you can see.
- Winston Churchill

The wise man does not lay up his own treasures.
The more he gives to others, the more he has for his own.
- Lao Tzu

Before God we are all equally wise - and equally foolish.
- Albert Einstein

Thoughtful people seldom share exactly the same opinion -
the same point-of-view.
The wise ones understand that they know nothing -
for virtually none of our experience is truly factual -
and they graciously honor all other opinions.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

A wise one said, "We are most like God when we forgive."
It is easy for us to blame, but hard for us to forgive.
Yet that is what we are called upon to do -
to forgive everyone for everything.
And the reward?
In this life, the reward for forgiveness
is your own happiness.
Unconditional universal forgiveness is
the key to your own happiness.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

It cannot be wisdom to assert the truth of one faith over another.
In our troubled world so full of contradictions,
the wise person makes justice his guide and learns from all.
- Akbar the Great (1542-1605)

A wise and frugal government,
which shall leave men free to regulate
their own pursuits of industry and improvement,
and shall not take from the mouth
of labor and the bread it has earned -
this is the sum of good government.
- Thomas Jefferson

Every day is a new beginning -
a day for a new plan and new action.
If today, in conscious awareness, you choose
the same plan as yesterday, you are wise.
If you choose a different plan, you are equally wise.
Whatever you choose, choose with intention.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Excellence is the result of
caring more than others think wise,
risking more than other's think safe,
dreaming more than others think practical,
and expecting more than others think possible.
- Anonymous

To be idle is a short road to death
and to be diligent is a way of life;
foolish people are idle,
wise people are diligent.
- The Buddha

Laws are sand, customs are rock.
Laws can be evaded and punishment escaped,
but an openly transgressed custom brings sure punishment.
The penalty may be unfair, unrighteous, illogical, and a cruelty;
no matter, it will be inflicted, just the same.
Certainly, then, there can be but one wise thing
for a visiting stranger to do -
find out what the country's customs are,
and refrain from offending against them.
- Mark Twain

In those days he was wiser than he is now;
he used to frequently take my advice.
- Winston Churchill

The whole problem with the world is that
fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves,
but wiser people so full of doubts.
- Bertrand Russell

I do not think much of a man who is
not wiser today than he was yesterday.
- Abraham Lincoln

Just because your voice reaches halfway around the world
doesn't mean you are wiser
than when it reached only to the end of the bar.
- Edward R. Murrow

Losing an illusion makes you wiser than finding a truth.
- Ludwig Boerne

We are wiser than we know.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

I am the wisest man alive, for I know one thing,
and that is that I know nothing.
- Socrates

It is unwise to be too sure of one's own wisdom.
It is healthy to be reminded that the strongest
might weaken and the wisest might err.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Peace and friendship with all mankind is our wisest policy,
and I wish we may be permitted to pursue it.
- Thomas Jefferson

History teaches us that men and nations behave wisely
only after they have exhausted all other alternatives.
- Abba Eban

Choose wisely - then act decisively. Do it today!
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The secret of health for both mind and body
is not to mourn for the past,
nor to worry about the future,
but to live the present moment wisely and earnestly.
- The Buddha

We must use time wisely and forever realize
that the time is always ripe to do right.
- Nelson Mandela

Even death is not to be feared by one who has lived wisely.
- The Buddha

Yesterday is a canceled check;
tomorrow is a
promissory note;
today is the only cash you have;
so spend it wisely.
- Kay Lyons

It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble.
It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.
- Mark Twain (attributed)

If you do what you've always done,
you'll get what you always got.
- Mark Twain

"It's not that important,
don't worry about it" is the answer,
now what was the question?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

You can't make an omelet without breaking eggs.
- Anonymous

Well, you ask a silly question, and you get a silly answer.
- Tom Lehrer

The first sigh of love is the last breath of wisdom.
- Anonymous

The way I see it, it doesn't matter what you believe,
just so you're sincere.
- Linus Van Pelt in Charles M. Schulz' Go Fly A Kite, Charlie Brown

Stay Happy, never let anyone get your goat.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool,
than to speak and remove all doubt.
- sometimes attributed to Mark Twain, Abraham Lincoln, or Samuel Johnson

The universe we observe has precisely
the properties we should expect
if there is, at bottom, no design,
no purpose, no evil, no good,
nothing but blind, pitiless indifference.
- Charles Darwin

The urge to save humanity is almost always
a false front for the urge to rule.
- H. L. Mencken


Thank you for visiting: Funny Wise Quotes - Funny Quotes about Wise.

Please sign up on the form below to receive
my Free Daily Inspiration - Daily Quotes email.

You can also search my large collection of Funny Quotes.

May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


Funny Quotes

 


All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.