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Funny Quotes about Life
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Funny Tools Quotes
Funny Quotes about Tools

Let these funny Tools Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

An architect's most useful tools are
an eraser at the drafting board,
and a wrecking bar at the site.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

Men have become the tools of their tools.
- Henry David Thoreau

A man too busy to take care of his health is like
a mechanic too busy to take care of his tools.
- Spanish Proverb

The finest workers in stone are not copper or steel tools,
but the gentle touches of air and water
working at their leisure with a liberal allowance of time.
- Henry David Thoreau


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When you find your path, you must not be afraid.
You need to have sufficient courage to make mistakes.
Disappointment, defeat, and despair are
the tools God uses to show us the way.
- Paulo Coelho

Taoists understand that both the mind and the body
are mere tools of the Spirit,
and that intention creates physical reality.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Discover the tools to build your own vision.
- Mary Anne Radmacher


 

Teachers are expected to reach unattainable goals with inadequate tools.
The miracle is that at times they accomplish this impossible task.
- Haim G. Ginott

Dependence begets subservience and venality,
suffocates the germ of virtue,
and prepares fit tools for the designs of ambition.
- Thomas Jefferson

You are not your mind. You, a Spiritual BEing,
are neither your mind nor your body.
Mind and body are your tools - to use as you choose.
Sometimes your body appears to have a will of its own,
as when it twitches or pains.
Likewise, your mind often appears to have its own will.
That incessant chattering of regret, disappointment, guilt,
shame, foreboding, worry, and fear
is your Rattlesnake Mind striking off on its own.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.
- George Carlin

If the only tool you have is a hammer,
you tend to see every problem as a nail.
- Abraham Maslow

If your only tool is a hammer,
you tend to see every problem as a nail.
- Abraham Maslow

War is the ultimate tool of politics.
- R. Buckminster Fuller

We must use time as a tool, not as a crutch.
- John F. Kennedy

Happiness is having a large, loving, caring,
close-knit family in another city.
- George Burns

He who joyfully marches in rank and file
has already earned my contempt.
He has been given a large brain by mistake,
since for him the spinal cord would suffice.
- Albert Einstein

Where large sums of money are concerned,
it is advisable to trust nobody.
- Agatha Christie

Standing in the inspiring vision of my future,
I boldly take every step - large and small -
with courage and intent.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I Act with Bold Courage:
Standing in the inspiring vision of my future,
I boldly take every step -
large and small - with courage and intent.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Give thanks for the rainbows, for the butterflies,
for all God's creatures - large and small,
for the bright blue sky and the soft fog and the gentle rain,
for the tree veiled in the season's first frost,
for the baby's laugh, for the touch of a hand
and the whispered "I love you."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Doubt and mistrust are the mere panic of timid imagination,
which the steadfast heart will conquer,
and the large mind will transcend.
- Helen Keller

Just because an animal is large, it doesn't mean he doesn't want kindness;
however big Tigger seems to be, remember that he wants as much kindness as Roo.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

Youth, large, lusty, loving -
Youth, full of grace, force, fascination.
Do you know that Old Age may come after you
with equal grace, force, fascination?
- Walt Whitman

Piglet noticed that even though he had a Very Small Heart,
it could hold a rather large amount of Gratitude.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

Life - for most people - is their past projected large
onto the movie screen of their future.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

When we get piled upon one another
in large cities, as in Europe,
we shall become as corrupt as Europe.
- Thomas Jefferson

Miracles are a retelling in small letters
of the very same story
which is written across the whole world
in letters too large for some of us to see.
- C. S. Lewis

Anyone who doesn't take truth seriously in small matters
cannot be trusted in large ones either.
- Albert Einstein

The awareness that health is dependent
upon habits that we control
makes us the first generation in history
that to a large extent determines its own destiny.
- Jimmy Carter

The spirit of this country is totally adverse to a large military force.
- Thomas Jefferson

Our "Rainbows and Butterflies" are the small miracles of our life -
the little things that are so easy to overlook,
yet so awe inspiring when we take a moment
to notice and to pay attention.
Give thanks for the rainbows, for the butterflies,
for all God's creatures - large and small,
for the bright blue sky and the soft fog and the gentle rain,
for the tree veiled in the season's first frost,
for the baby's laugh,
for the touch of a hand and the whispered "I love you."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The solution to adult problems tomorrow
depends in large measure upon
how our children grow up today.
- Margaret Mead

In matters of truth and justice,
there is no difference between large and small problems,
for issues concerning the treatment of people are all the same.
- Albert Einstein

There are no small acts of kindness.
Every compassionate act makes large the world.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

I sincerely believe that banking establishments
are more dangerous than standing armies,
and that the principle of spending money
to be paid by posterity, under the name of funding,
is but swindling futurity on a large scale.
- Thomas Jefferson

It is always a good day to be grateful for all of life -
grateful for large blessings and small.
Especially to be grateful for the symbolic blessings -
the rainbows and butterflies that come into our lives
when we least expect and most need them.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I offer gentle understanding to myself.
I position myself in love, not fear.
I look behind me with forgiveness.
I look forward with festive anticipation.
I embrace this holy moment and assert,
"Now. This moment is the moment to love,
the moment to serve, the moment to seize
the legacy instead of the small.
Now. Now I will live large, love boldly,
reach to the edges of my unfurled heart and fully enrolled hope.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

My mind seems to have become a kind of machine for
grinding general laws out of large collections of facts.
- Charles Darwin

The holiday season promotes
a heightened sense of community.
It draws our chins up and
helps us look above and over
the limiting fence of our own events,
activities and preoccupations.
The opportunity for a heroic gesture
can tap you quietly on the shoulder
in the midst of a holiday bustle.
If you are attentive,
you will notice the gentle touch
and will be able to respond. Remember...
There are no small acts of kindness.
Every compassionate act makes large the world.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Probably the happiest period in life
most frequently is in middle age,
when the eager passions of youth are cooled,
and the infirmities of age not yet begun;
as we see that the shadows,
which are at morning and evening so large,
almost entirely disappear at midday.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

Happiness is a figment of the imagination.
Imagine happiness.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Happiness is having a scratch for every itch.
- Ogden Nash

Thousands of candles can be lit from a single candle,
and the life of the candle will not be shortened.
Happiness never decreases by being shared.
- The Buddha

Happiness is the absence of the striving for happiness.
- Zhuangzi

Joy is a choice - but it isn't an easy choice.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

This is your day to Laugh at Life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Happiness depends upon ourselves.
- Aristotle

Stay Happy, never let anyone get your goat.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Happiness is a choice.
- Anonymous

Money won't make you happy...
but everybody wants to find out for themselves.
- Zig Ziglar

Laugh when you can,
apologize when you should,
and let go of what you can't change.
Life's too short to be anything... but happy.
- Anonymous

If you want to be happy, be.
- Leo Tolstoy

We all live with the objective of being happy;
our lives are all different and yet the same.
- Anne Frank

The purpose of our lives is to be happy.
- Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama

I truly believe that happiness is possible...
even when you're thirty-three
and have a bottom the size of two bowling balls.
- the movie Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason

Happiness is the china shop; love is the bull.
- H. L. Mencken

Some days are simply meant for playing.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Our Joy comes from living our own lives simply -
never from demanding that others live simply -
or from ever making any demands whatsoever upon others.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

No matter how dull, or how mean, or how wise a man is,
he feels that happiness is his indisputable right.
- Helen Keller

Sanity and happiness are an impossible combination.
- Mark Twain

You don't have the power to make life "fair,"
but you do have the power to make life joyful.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

No one is in control of your happiness but you;
therefore, you have the power to change anything
about yourself or your life that you want to change.
- Barbara De Angelis

Happiness is often the result of being too busy to be miserable.
- Anonymous

What is happiness except the simple harmony
between a man and the life he leads?
- Albert Camus

Happiness is nothing more than good health and a bad memory.
- Albert Schweitzer

Happiness blooms
in the presence of self-respect,
and the absence of ego.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Simple living is the way to happy living.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Some cause happiness wherever they go;
others whenever they go.
- Oscar Wilde

The only reason you suffer is because you choose to suffer.
The only reason you are happy is because you choose to be happy.
Happiness is a choice, and so is suffering.
- don Miguel Ruiz

Sometimes your joy is the source of your smile,
but sometimes your smile
can be the source of your joy.
- Thich Nhat Hanh


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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