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Funny Quotes about Life
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Funny Health Quotes
Funny Quotes about Health

Let these funny Health Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

The greatest wealth is health.
- Virgil

Be careful about reading health books.
You may die of a misprint.
- Mark Twain

Happiness is nothing more than good health and a bad memory.
- Albert Schweitzer

He who takes medicine and neglects his diet
wastes the skill of his doctors.
- Chinese Proverb PHOTO


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The devil has put a penalty on all things we enjoy in life.
Either we suffer in health or we suffer in soul or we get fat.
- Albert Einstein

To keep the body in good health is a duty...
otherwise we shall not be able
to keep our mind strong and clear.
- The Buddha

The first wealth is health.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson


 

Know the best and highest choices for health
and more often choose those things.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

A man too busy to take care of his health is like
a mechanic too busy to take care of his tools.
- Spanish Proverb

The wish for healing has always been half of health.
- Lucius Annaeus Seneca

Well-being is making its way to you at all times.
If you will relax and find a way to allow it,
it will be your experience.
- Abraham (Esther Hicks)

Healthy citizens are the greatest asset any country can have.
- Winston Churchill

An overfull calendar, like an overfull stomach,
is a consequence of taking on too much.
Commit, and eat, in moderation.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

What is called genius is the
abundance of life and health.
- Henry David Thoreau

True friendship is like sound health;
the value of it is seldom known until it be lost.
- Charles Caleb Colton

Man needs difficulties; they are necessary for health.
- Carl Jung

Health is the greatest gift,
contentment the greatest wealth,
faithfulness the best relationship.
- The Buddha

Lord, grant comfort, joy and health
to those I call friend,
to those I call enemy,
and to those I have cursed by my indifference.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If you have health, you probably will be happy,
and if you have health and happiness,
you have all the wealth you need, even if it is not all you want.
- Elbert Hubbard

Good humor is the health of the soul,
sadness is its poison.
- Lord Chesterfield

Leave all the afternoon for exercise and recreation,
which are as necessary as reading.
I will rather say more necessary
because health is worth more than learning.
- Thomas Jefferson

You are to have implicit confidence in your own ability,
knowing that it is the nature of thought
to externalize itself in your health and affairs,
knowing that you are the thinker.
- Ernest Holmes

He who has health has hope,
and he who has hope has everything.
- Anonymous

Priorities - what's really important -
health, and doing what one wants to do -
it's certainly not money.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The secret of health for both mind and body
is not to mourn for the past,
nor to worry about the future,
but to live the present moment wisely and earnestly.
- The Buddha

The health of the eye seems to demand a horizon.
We are never tired, so long as we can see far enough.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Peace, Love, Health, Comfort, Joy, and the Light of Spirit -
all the rest is nothing.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Without health, life is not life;
it is only a state of languor and suffering -
an image of death.
- The Buddha

The awareness that health is dependent
upon habits that we control
makes us the first generation in history
that to a large extent determines its own destiny.
- Jimmy Carter

Health is the greatest possession.
Contentment is the greatest treasure.
Confidence is the greatest friend.
Non-being is the greatest joy.
- Lao Tzu

It is health that is real wealth,
and not pieces of gold and silver.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

The greatest force in the human body
is the natural drive of the body to heal itself -
but that force in not independent of the belief system.
Everything begins with belief.
What we believe is the most powerful option of all.
- Norman Cousins

Every human being is the author of his own health or disease.
- The Buddha

When we hate our enemies, we are
giving them power over us:
power over our sleep, our appetites,
our blood pressure, our health, and our happiness.
Our enemies would dance with joy if only
they knew how they were worrying us,
lacerating us, and getting even with us!
Our hate is not hurting them at all,
but our hate is turning our own days
and nights into a hellish turmoil.
- Dale Carnegie

Whenever you choose to carry resentment and hatred,
you are shouldering an immense burden that damages
your happiness, and often your health.
Does it matter that your resentment and hatred are "justified?"
Only you suffer - not the person you resent.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

My own gratitude list begins with health, family, friends,
and the beauty around me - from the butterflies and rainbows,
to the dolphins, to the birds, to the works produced by the human hand.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

To be a beneficial presence in the world,
cultivate a conscious awareness of your unity with Spirit.
Expect good in your own life.
Desire good for all others as well.
See and affirm abundant blessings of peace,
health, and plenty for everyone.
Align your thoughts with peace and happiness,
and realize that these qualities are your true nature.
- Kathy Juline

Release your burdens - your fears, regrets,
guilts, shames, embarrassments, angers.
One by one, pick up each memory or fear that troubles you,
hold it close, and release it to the Universe.
Release each incident from your past that still bothers you.
Release each fear - your fears about your health,
your family, your job, and every other fear.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Our greatest happiness does not depend on the condition of life
in which chance has placed us,
but is always the result of a good conscience,
good health, occupation, and freedom in all just pursuits.
- Thomas Jefferson

Liberty is to the collective body,
what health is to every individual body.
Without health no pleasure can be tasted by man;
without liberty, no happiness can be enjoyed by society.
- Thomas Jefferson

Life is an organic whole. The basic problems of the people -
poverty, ignorance, disease and civic inertia - interlock.
To address one problem, we must address all.
Hence our emphasis on an integrated program
of livelihood, education, health and self-government.
- Jimmy Yen

To enjoy good health,
to bring true happiness to one's family,
to bring peace to all, one must first
discipline and control one's own mind.
If a man can control his mind
he can find the way to Enlightenment,
and all wisdom and virtue will naturally come to him.
- The Buddha

Prayer:
Lord God, Holy Spirit, Giver of All Light,
Bless and Keep All Those of This World.
Grant Us Your Peace, Your Light, Your Love.
Grant Us Complete Renewal of Body, Mind and Spirit -
Continual Rebirth in Newness of Life.
Let Your Light Shine Upon Us and Be Gracious to Us.
Grant to Each and Every One of Us:
Health, Comfort, Joy, Peace Within Ourselves,
Peace Within Our Families, Peace Within Our Communities,
and Peace among All those This World.
Grant That I May Be an Instrument of Thy Peace.
Grant That I May Radiate Thy Peace, Thy Light, Thy Love,
Thy Healing, Thy Comfort, Thy Joy,
to All Those Around Me and All Those in My Thoughts
This Day and Ever More. AMEN.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Suppose our gratitude could be zero-based gratitude.
With zero-based gratitude,
we would be grateful for everything we had each day -
regardless of whether it was more or less than yesterday.
With zero-based gratitude, I can be grateful for all the people,
the love, the food, the shelter, the services,
the health, that I am blessed with today,
regardless of what I had yesterday.
With zero-based gratitude,
I can be grateful each day for the gift of life itself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

There are nine requisites for contented living:
HEALTH enough to make work a pleasure;
WEALTH enough to support your needs;
STRENGTH enough to battle with difficulties and forsake them;
GRACE enough to confess your sins and overcome them;
PATIENCE enough to toil until some good is accomplished;
CHARITY enough to see some good in your neighbor;
LOVE enough to move you to be useful and helpful to others;
FAITH enough to make real the things of God;
HOPE enough to remove all anxious fears concerning the future.
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

'Tis healthy to be sick sometimes.
- Henry David Thoreau

Begin to define for ourselves
what it is to make a healthy choice.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

The healthy man does not torture others -
generally it is the tortured who turn into torturers.
- Carl Jung

Early to bed and early to rise,
makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise.
- Benjamin Franklin

It is unwise to be too sure of one's own wisdom.
It is healthy to be reminded that the strongest
might weaken and the wisest might err.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Jealousy is a disease, love is a healthy condition.
The immature mind often mistakes one for the other,
or assumes that the greater the love, the greater the jealousy -
in fact, they're almost incompatible;
one emotion hardly leaves room for the other.
Both at once can produce unbearable turmoil.
- Robert Heinlein

Healthy choices thread through every aspect of life.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Healthy discontent is the prelude to progress.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Some people regard private enterprise
as a predatory tiger to be shot.
Others look on it as a cow they can milk.
Not enough people see it
as a healthy horse, pulling a sturdy wagon.
- Winston Churchill

Manage through the uncertainties.
Practice appropriate actions and participate in healthy choices.
Value and celebrate the loyalty of the individuals around you:
celebrate their competencies and successes, as well as your own.
Build up your circle and reinforce it at every opportunity.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Physical fitness is not only one of
the most important keys to a healthy body,
it is the basis of dynamic and creative intellectual activity.
- John F. Kennedy

Praying is important when you wake up
at two o'clock in the morning
feeling sick from eating something dumb the day before.
- Charlie Brown in Charles M. Schulz' cartoon Peanuts

The Science of Mind is intensely practical
because it teaches us how to use
the Mind Principle for definite purposes,
such as helping those who are sick, impoverished, or unhappy.
- Ernest Holmes

Your pain is the breaking of the shell
that encloses your understanding.
Much of your pain is self-chosen.
It is the bitter potion by which the
physician within you heals your sick self.
Therefore trust the physician, and drink
his remedy in silence and tranquility.
- Khalil Gibran

Jesus preached more and taught more
about helping the poor and the sick and the hungry
than he did about heaven and hell.
Shouldn't that tell us something?
- John Grisham

Let us rise up and be thankful, for if we didn't learn a lot today,
at least we learned a little, and if we didn't learn a little,
at least we didn't get sick, and if we got sick,
at least we didn't die; so, let us all be thankful.
- The Buddha

Some are reputed sick and some are not.
It often happens that the sicker man
is the nurse to the sounder.
- Henry David Thoreau

For me, the most powerful expressions of true Christianity
in this material world are an unconditional love of all humans,
and an uncompromising commitment to caring for all
who are sick, infirm, or troubled -
as expressed in the biblical story of the Good Samaritan.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

There is one consolation in being sick;
and that is the possibility that you may recover
to a better state than you were ever in before.
- Henry David Thoreau

If God listened to the prayers of men,
all men would quickly have perished:
for they are forever praying for evil against one another.
- Epicurus

Dear Father in heaven, I'm not a praying man,
but if you're up there and you can hear me ...
show me the way... show me the way.
- It's a Wonderful Life (1946 movie)

Prayer is a thought, a belief, a feeling,
arising within the mind of the one praying.
- Ernest Holmes

Praying without ceasing is not ritualized,
nor are there even words.
It is a constant state of awareness of oneness with God.
- Peace Pilgrim

Conversations with God are very different
from the usual nature of prayer.
Prayers are commonly only in one direction -
the one praying speaks and hopes God is listening.
Prayers also tend to focus on asking
for specific things or outcomes one wants,
rather than seeking to better understand the mind of God.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I am prepared to meet my Maker.
Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal
of meeting me is another matter.
- Winston Churchill

You may call God love, you may call God goodness.
But the best name for God is compassion.
- Meister Eckhart


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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