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Funny Quotes about Life
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Funny Stone Quotes
Funny Quotes about Stone

Let these funny Stone Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

Write your Sad times in Sand,
Write your Good times in Stone.
- George Bernard Shaw

What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch?
- W. Clement Stone

Revenge... is like a rolling stone,
which, when a man hath forced up a hill,
will return upon him with a greater violence,
and break those bones whose sinews gave it motion.
- Albert Schweitzer

Who made the rule that life has to be so serious?
One would think that "life is serious" had been engraved
upon stone tablets to judge from how most lives are lived.
Get a life, smile broadly, sing loudly,
paint your rooms in bold colors,
search every rabbit hole for a magical white bunny,
have caviar for breakfast and oatmeal for dinner,
wear a purple coat with a red hat - dance lightly with life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


 

What you leave behind is not what
is engraved in stone monuments,
but what is woven into the lives of others.
- Pericles

Love doesn't just sit there like a stone;
it has to be made,like bread,
remade all the time, made new.
- Ursula K. Le Guin

Nature teaches more than she preaches.
There are no sermons in stones.
It is easier to get a spark out of a stone than a moral.
- John Burroughs


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The finest workers in stone are not copper or steel tools,
but the gentle touches of air and water
working at their leisure with a liberal allowance of time.
- Henry David Thoreau

Yosemite Valley, to me, is always a sunrise,
a glitter of green and golden wonder in a vast edifice of stone and space.
- Ansel Adams

Fling but a stone, the giant dies.
- Matthew Green

Character is always known.
Thefts never enrich;
alms never impoverish;
murder will speak out of stone walls.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Every charitable act is a stepping stone toward heaven.
- Henry Ward Beecher

Be careful the environment you choose for it will shape you;
be careful the friends you choose for you will become like them.
- W. Clement Stone

There's an electrical thing about movies.
- Oliver Stone

Try, try, try, and keep on trying is the rule that
must be followed to become an expert in anything.
- W. Clement Stone

Thinking will not overcome fear but action will.
- W. Clement Stone

No matter how carefully you plan your goals they will
never be more that pipe dreams unless you pursue them with gusto.
- W. Clement Stone

Pick up a stone that feels good to you
and is small enough to hold in one hand.
Consider how long that stone has been around
and what enormous pressure it has experienced.
Draw strength from its long history.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Self-suggestion makes you master of yourself.
- W. Clement Stone

I've been to war, and it's not easy to kill.
It's bloody and messy and totally horrifying,
and the consequences are serious.
- Oliver Stone

Be careful the friends you choose -
for you will become like them.
- W. Clement Stone

It does not do to dwell on dreams, ...
and forget to live.
- the movie Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone

I wanted to know the name of every stone
and flower and insect and bird and beast.
I wanted to know where it got its color, where it got its life -
but there was no one to tell me.
- George Washington Carver

The first stone was just tried in the spirit of experimentation.
The opening of the stone was far more interesting than
the drawing that I had done on it.
- Andy Goldsworthy

I'm not a prophet or a stone aged man,
just a mortal with potential of a superman.
I'm living on.
- David Bowie

There may be problems we still need to tease out,
but we will leave no stone unturned in our bid to make London the host city.
- Sebastian Coe

I was raised a Christian and was a stone-faced acid head.
- Ken Kesey

Never treat anything you do as a stepping stone.
Do it fully, and follow it completely.
- Mira Nair

Men of genius are often dull and inert in society;
as the blazing meteor,
when it descends to earth, is only a stone.
- Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

When I started working for Rolling Stone,
I became very interested in journalism and thought
maybe that's what I was doing,
but it wasn't.
- Annie Leibovitz

We should bomb Vietnam back into the stone age.
- Curtis Lemay

Freud was a hero.
He descended to the Underworld and met there stark terrors.
He carried with him his theory as a Medusa's head which
turned these terrors to stone.
- R. D. Laing

The block of granite which was an obstacle in the pathway of the weak,
became a stepping-stone in the pathway of the strong.
- Thomas Carlyle

You can keep the things of bronze and stone and give
me one man to remember me just once a year.
- Damon Runyon

We just want to be remembered before something is set in stone.
- Bill Dana

The drop of rain maketh a hole in the stone,
not by violence, but by oft falling.
- Hugh Latimer

Every book is a quotation;
and every house is a quotation out of all forests,
and mines, and stone quarries;
and every man is a quotation from all his ancestors.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

I would have written of me on my stone:
I had a lover's quarrel with the world.
- Robert Frost

What is marriage, is marriage protection or religion,
is marriage renunciation or abundance,
is marriage a stepping-stone or an end.
What is marriage.
- Gertrude Stein

A nickname is the heaviest stone that the devil can throw at a man.
It is a bugbear to the imagination, and,
though we do not believe in it, it still haunts our apprehensions.
- William Hazlitt

I did not lose myself all at once.
I rubbed out my face over the years washing away my pain,
the same way carvings on stone are worn down by water.
- Amy Tan

Our horizon is the creation of a noble society to which,
like the medieval builder of those glorious cathedrals,
you will have added your conception,
your artful piece of stone.
- Adrienne Clarkson

Let them not make me a stone and let them not spill me,
otherwise kill me.
- Louis MacNeice

Become dust - and they will throw thee in the air;
Become stone -
and they will throw thee on glass.
- Muhammad Iqbal

The drops of rain make a hole in the stone,
not by violence, but by oft falling.
- Lucretius

Leave no stone unturned.
- Euripides

If any have a stone to throw It is not I,
ever or now.
- Elinor Wylie

The whole earth is the tomb of heroic men and their
story is not given only on stone over their clay but
abides everywhere without visible symbol woven into
the stuff of other mens lives.
- Pericles

The young people have MTV and rock and roll.
Why would they go to read poetry? Poetry belongs to the Stone Age.
It awakens in us perceptions that go back to those times.
- Robert Morgan

The basis, the corner-stone of this Government,
was the perfect equality of the free,
sovereign, and independent States which made it.
- Robert Toombs

Virtue is like a rich stone, best plain set.
- Francis Bacon

Normally, an actress has to work to bring out her male side.
In our case, the dynamic is reversed.
The actor playing her modelled himself on Sharon Stone.
- Edward Hall

Too long a sacrifice can make a stone of the heart.
O when may it suffice?
- William Butler Yeats

I honored the fallen enemy by placing a stone on his beautiful grave.
- Manfred von Richthofen

No amounts of stone and bone could yield the kinds
of information that the paintings gave so freely.
- Mary Leakey

Each of us is carving a stone, erecting a column,
or cutting a piece of stained glass in the construction
of something much bigger than ourselves.
- Adrienne Clarkson

I would write plays for my grandmother,
who was stone deaf, my mother and the dog,
that was our audience.
- Jayne Meadows

It's a vast, lonely, forbidding expanse of nothing
rather like clouds and clouds of pumice stone.
And it certainly does not appear to be a very inviting place to live or work.
- Frank Borman

A scientific man ought to have no wishes, no affections, -
a mere heart of stone.
- Charles Darwin

The stone which Jacob consecrated at Bethel the generation
of the living continues to anoint,
paying the tithes which of old he vowed to the house of God there.
- Julius Wellhausen

The first human who hurled an insult instead of a stone
was the founder of civilization.
- Sigmund Freud

If we can by any method establish a relation of mutual
trust between the laborer and the employer,
we shall lay the foundation stone of a structure that
will endure for all time.
- Mark Hanna

What would it profit thee to be the first Of echoes,
tho thy tongue should live forever, A thing that answers,
but hath not a thought As lasting but as senseless as a stone.
- Frederick Tennyson

Africa is a cruel country; it takes your heart and
grinds it into powdered stone -
and no one minds.
- Elspeth Huxley

I believe that one defines oneself by reinvention.
To not be like your parents.
To not be like your friends.
To be yourself.
To cut yourself out of stone.
- Henry Rollins

If you make an error, use it as a stepping stone to
a new idea you might not have otherwise discovered.
- Roger von Oech

Travel and society polish one, but a rolling stone gathers no moss,
and a little moss is a good thing on a man.
- John Burroughs

Then hast our the Red Stone perfect with less labour,
expense of time and costs, for the which ever thank God.
- George Ripley

The heart hid still in the dark, hard as the Philosopher's Stone.
- Paul Celan

Leave no stone unturned to help your clients realize
maximum profits from their investment.
- Arthur C. Nielsen

I cannot say who, precisely, came up with the idea of a Stone Age family.
- Joseph Barbera


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- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.