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Funny Quotes about Life
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Funny Stone Quotes
Funny Quotes about Stone

Let these funny Stone Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

Write your Sad times in Sand,
Write your Good times in Stone.
- George Bernard Shaw

Who made the rule that life has to be so serious?
One would think that "life is serious" had been engraved
upon stone tablets to judge from how most lives are lived.
Get a life, smile broadly, sing loudly,
paint your rooms in bold colors,
search every rabbit hole for a magical white bunny,
have caviar for breakfast and oatmeal for dinner,
wear a purple coat with a red hat - dance lightly with life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Revenge... is like a rolling stone,
which, when a man hath forced up a hill,
will return upon him with a greater violence,
and break those bones whose sinews gave it motion.
- Albert Schweitzer

The finest workers in stone are not copper or steel tools,
but the gentle touches of air and water
working at their leisure with a liberal allowance of time.
- Henry David Thoreau


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What you leave behind is not what
is engraved in stone monuments,
but what is woven into the lives of others.
- Pericles

Love doesn't just sit there like a stone;
it has to be made,like bread,
remade all the time, made new.
- Ursula K. Le Guin

Character is always known.
Thefts never enrich;
alms never impoverish;
murder will speak out of stone walls.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson


 

It does not do to dwell on dreams, ...
and forget to live.
- the movie Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone

Be careful the friends you choose -
for you will become like them.
- W. Clement Stone

Thinking will not overcome fear but action will.
- W. Clement Stone

I wanted to know the name of every stone
and flower and insect and bird and beast.
I wanted to know where it got its color, where it got its life -
but there was no one to tell me.
- George Washington Carver

Pick up a stone that feels good to you
and is small enough to hold in one hand.
Consider how long that stone has been around
and what enormous pressure it has experienced.
Draw strength from its long history.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Every book is a quotation;
and every house is a quotation out of all forests,
and mines, and stone quarries;
and every man is a quotation from all his ancestors.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Men admire the man who can organize
their wishes and thoughts
in stone and wood and steel and brass.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

A scientific man ought to have no wishes, no affections, -
a mere heart of stone.
- Charles Darwin

Like everyone else I feel the need of relations and friendship,
of affection, of friendly intercourse,
and I am not made of stone or iron,
so I cannot miss these things without feeling,
as does any other intelligent man, a void and deep need.
I tell you this to let you know how much good your visit has done me.
- Vincent Van Gogh

Anyone who proposes to do good
must not expect people to roll stones out of his way,
but must accept his lot calmly,
even if they roll a few stones upon it.
- Albert Schweitzer

March on. Do not tarry. To go forward
is to move toward perfection.
March on, and fear not the thorns,
or the sharp stones on life's path.
- Khalil Gibran

There are two kinds of stones,
as everyone knows,
one of which rolls.
- Amelia Earhart

I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought,
but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones.
- Albert Einstein

Sticks and stones may break my bones,
but words will never hurt me.
- schoolyard rhyme

There's no reason to become alarmed,
and we hope you'll enjoy the rest of your flight.
By the way, is there anyone on board who knows how to fly a plane?
- the movie Airplane!

Stay Happy, never let anyone get your goat.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Anyone who isn't confused,
really doesn't understand the situation.
- Edward R. Murrow

There is no use whatsoever trying to help
people who do not help themselves.
You cannot push anyone up a ladder
unless he is willing to climb himself.
- Andrew Carnegie

Anyone can do any amount of work
provided it isn't the work
he is supposed to be doing at the moment.
- Robert Benchley

Anyone who can worship a trinity
and insist that his religion is a monotheism
can believe anything.
- Robert A Heinlein

Anyone who thinks sitting in church
can make you a Christian must also think
that sitting in a garage can make you a car.
- Garrison Keillor

I do not need anyone's permission to be my true self.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Anyone who knows history, particularly
the history of Europe, will, I think,
recognize that the domination
of education or of government
by any one particular religious faith
is never a happy arrangement for the people.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

You do not need anyone's permission to be your true self.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

People are stupid;
given proper motivation, almost anyone will believe almost anything.
Because people are stupid, they will believe a lie
because they want to believe it's true,
or because they are afraid it might be true.
- Terry Goodkind

If you fear making anyone mad,
then you ultimately probe for
the lowest common denominator of human achievement.
- Jimmy Carter

If anyone has material possessions and sees his brother in need
but has no pity on him, how can the love of God be in him?
- 1 John 3:17

If anyone is unhappy, remember that
his unhappiness is his own fault...
Nothing else is the cause of anxiety or loss of tranquility
except our own opinion.
- Epictetus

When you follow your bliss,
doors will open for you
that wouldn't have opened for anyone else.
- Joseph Campbell

A man who doesn't trust himself
can never really trust anyone else.
- Cardinal De Retz

Don't look for approval from anyone other than yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Though no one can go back and make a brand new start,
anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending.
- Carl Bard

Anyone who thinks, must think of
the next war as they would of suicide.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

Anyone who doesn't take truth seriously in small matters
cannot be trusted in large ones either.
- Albert Einstein

Never Let Anyone Get Your Goat,
Push Your Buttons,
Get You Riled Up,
or Annoy You.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

You have to learn the rules of the game.
And then you have to play better than anyone else.
- Albert Einstein

If you want to be heroic,
Don't emulate your heroes,
learn from them.
Heroes don't follow anyone,
they set their own course.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I believe that anyone can conquer fear
by doing the things he fears to do,
provided he keeps doing them until he gets
a record of successful experience behind him.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

Once you respect yourself, there is no longer
any reason to disrespect anyone else.
Once you are confident of your own worthiness,
the worthiness of others ceases to be an issue.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Anyone can be passionate, but
it takes real lovers to be silly.
- Rose Franken

Know that you do not need anyone's permission
to be your true self.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Anyone can hold the helm when the sea is calm.
- Publilius Syrus

Whether one believes in a religion or not,
and whether one believes in rebirth or not,
there isn't anyone who doesn't
appreciate kindness and compassion.
- Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama

Anyone who conducts an argument by appealing to authority
is not using his intelligence; he is just using his memory.
- Leonardo da Vinci

I do not believe that God has
imposed suffering upon anyone
to punish them or to teach them a lesson.
- Ernest Holmes

Don't let anyone else take the measure
of your worth and capabilities.
Always stand proud in who you are.
- Margaret Spellings

If someone irritates you, it is only
your own response that is irritating you.
Therefore, when anyone seems to be provoking you,
remember that it is only your judgment
of the incident that provokes you. -
- Epictetus

When you follow your bliss... doors will open
where you would not have thought there would be doors,
and where there wouldn't be a door for anyone else.
- Joseph Campbell

Time stays long enough for anyone who will use it.
- Leonardo da Vinci

Anyone who has never made a mistake,
has never tried anything new.
- Albert Einstein

When our thoughts - which bring actions -
are filled with hate against anyone, Negro or white,
we are in a living hell.
That is as real as hell will ever be.
- George Washington Carver

Anyone can heal who believes that he can
and will take the time to put that belief into motion.
- Ernest Holmes

Whenever I hear anyone arguing for slavery,
I feel a strong impulse to see it tried on him personally.
- Abraham Lincoln

You can never really live anyone else's life,
not even your child's.
The influence you exert is through your own life,
and what you've become yourself.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

When you pray for anyone, you tend to
modify your personal attitude toward them.
- Norman Vincent Peale

ANYONE may become a revealer of Truth
who lives in close contact with the indwelling God.
- Ernest Holmes

Anyone who keeps the ability to see beauty, never grows old.
- Franz Kafka

Anyone is free who lives as he wishes to live.
- Epictetus

I live in my own place -
have never copied anyone even half,
and at any master who lacks the grace -
to laugh at himself - I laugh.
- Friedrich Nietzsche

Don't believe me,
don't believe yourself,
and don't believe anyone else.
- don Miguel Ruiz

Friendship with one's self is all important,
because without it one cannot be friends with anyone else in the world.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

If anyone is crazy enough to want to kill
a president of the United States, he can do it.
All he must be prepared to do is give his life for the president's.
- John F. Kennedy

A miracle is nothing more or less than this...
Anyone who has come into a knowledge
of his true identity,
of his oneness with
the all-pervading wisdom and power,
this makes it possible for laws higher
than the ordinary mind knows of
to be revealed to him.
- Ralph Waldo Trine

What each must seek in his life never was on land or sea.
It is something out of his own unique potentiality for experience,
something that never has been and never could
have been experienced by anyone else.
- Joseph Campbell


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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