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Funny Quotes about Life
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Funny Site Quotes
Funny Quotes about Site

Let these funny Site Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

An architect's most useful tools are
an eraser at the drafting board,
and a wrecking bar at the site.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

You cannot discover new oceans unless
you have the courage to lose site of the shore.
- Anonymous

Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak;
courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen.
- Winston Churchill

When you are courting a nice girl
an hour seems like a second.
When you sit on a red-hot cinder
a second seems like an hour.
That's relativity.
- Albert Einstein


 

Even if you're on the right track,
you'll get run over if you just sit there.
- Will Rogers

Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute and it
seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour
and it seems like a minute. That's relativity.
- Albert Einstein

Love is what makes two people
sit in the middle of a park bench
when there is plenty of room at both ends.
- Anonymous


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In life you are given two ends;
one to think with and the other to sit on.
Your success in life depends on which end you use most.
Heads you win, tails you lose.
- Conrad Burns

The true meaning of life is to plant trees,
under whose shade you do not expect to sit.
- Nelson Henderson

Is today a day to gather strength from the storm -
a day to to learn life lessons for the next battle?
Or is today a day to sit by the fire
and watch the storm rage outside?
Either way, the storm is just life.
Give thanks for all of Life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I would rather sit on a pumpkin and have it all to myself,
than be crowded on a velvet cushion.
- Henry David Thoreau

Inaction breeds doubt and fear.
Action breeds confidence and courage.
If you want to conquer fear,
do not sit home and think about it.
Go out and get busy.
- Dale Carnegie

I can think of nothing more boring for the American people
than to have to sit in their living rooms for a whole half hour
looking at my face on their television screens.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

When you get the choice to sit it out or dance,
I hope you dance.
- Lee Ann Womack

No one should ever sit in this office over 70 years old,
and that I know.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

Love doesn't just sit there like a stone;
it has to be made,like bread,
remade all the time, made new.
- Ursula K. Le Guin

From the solemn gloom of the temple
children run out to sit in the dust,
God watches them play and forgets the priest.
- Rabindranath Tagore

All you have to do is look straight and see the road,
and when you see it, don't sit looking at it - walk.
- Ayn Rand

Happiness is a butterfly, which, when pursued,
is always just beyond your grasp,
but which, if you will sit down quietly,
may alight upon you.
- Nathaniel Hawthorne

Do you have a plan for your life?
If not, allocate some time today to sit quietly
with pen and paper to begin writing your life plan -
what you want to accomplish with your life,
and what projects will support your goals.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

We listen. We listen. We move.
We sit. It rains. The sun comes out.
(there stands a friend)
We listen. We laugh. We share.
We sit. We dance. It rains.
There stands a friend.
We listen. We share. We sit. We dance.
The sun comes up.
There. I stand, a friend.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

People should be angry about a lot of things
and the peace-and-love thing
doesn't sit comfortably with me at all.
- Bono

How vain it is to sit down to write
when you have not stood up to live.
- Henry David Thoreau

THE fog comes
on little cat feet.
It sits looking
over harbor and city
on silent haunches
and then moves on.
- Carl Sandburg

Walking is Zen, sitting is Zen.
Then what will be the quality?
Watchfully alert, joyously unmotivated,
centered, loving, flowing, one walks.
And the walking is sauntering.
Loving, alert, watchful, one sits, unmotivated -
not sitting for anything in particular,
just enjoying how beautiful
just sitting doing nothing is,
how relaxing, how restful.
- Osho

I was thrown out of N.Y.U. my freshman year
for cheating on my metaphysics final ...
I looked within the soul of the boy sitting next to me.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall

A friend is someone who will bail you out of jail.
A best friend is the one sitting next
to you saying "boy was that fun."
- The Maugles

Anyone who thinks sitting in church
can make you a Christian must also think
that sitting in a garage can make you a car.
- Garrison Keillor

There is no chance and anarchy in the universe.
All is system and gradation.
Every god is there sitting in his sphere.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

To be fully alive, fully human, and completely awake
is to be continually thrown out of the nest.
- Pema Chodron

The third certainty of life, after death and taxes,
is that nothing will work out the way you want.
Life is fully as bad as you think it is.
Choose to live joyfully anyway.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Choose to be as a young child -
fully awake, eager for the next experience.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Fully experience THIS moment -
breathe in, breathe out - nothing more.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Your greatest gift to your family and friends is yourself -
your relaxed, happy, and fully-present self.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

When one fully lives a life of acceptance,
life's vagaries are not merely tolerated,
but are received as a gift.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Wealth is the ability to fully experience life.
- Henry David Thoreau

Who has fully realized that history
is not contained in thick books
but lives in our very blood?
- Carl Jung

Life is lived in the mists -
little is fully visible, less is certain.
Yet rejoice in the unknowing,
and let all of life be a wonderful adventure.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The fear of death follows from the fear of life.
A man who lives fully, is prepared to die at any time.
- Mark Twain

Stop wishing and fearing the future
long enough to be fully present in TODAY.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The key to success, and to happiness,
is being fully engaged in life -
leading yourself with inspiration and committed action -
setting your own fine and honorable example.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

You know that you have fully experienced love
when you turn into love -
that is the spiritual goal of life.
- Deepak Chopra

Every man supposes himself
not to be fully understood or appreciated.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Life is fully as bad as you think it is,
so never think life is bad.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

While you are proclaiming peace with your lips,
be careful to have it even more fully in your heart.
- St. Francis of Assisi

Lighten up! Slow down the shopping.
Your greatest gift to your family and friends is yourself -
your relaxed, happy, and fully-present self.
Consider gifting hand-made cards with messages
of true appreciation in place of store-bought presents.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life cannot be lived fully or joyfully if
our thoughts are focused on regretting the past,
preoccupied with anticipating the future,
or lost in the mind-fog of unconscious habitual behavior.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

A great gift requires two people,
the giver and the receiver.
Think of a football pass -
skillfully catching the pass, the gift,
is fully as important, and difficult, as throwing it.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Living in the present moment requires discretion toward memory.
Without memory we'd have amnesia. What good would there be in that?
Offer discretion and discernment for our past
with a broad spectrum of forgiveness.
As for our present moment, delight.
And dedication to remain fully present to all the possibility.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

The source of most worry is a lack of acceptance
of the uncertainties of the future.
When one fully lives a life of acceptance,
life's vagaries are not merely tolerated,
but are received as a gift.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I offer gentle understanding to myself.
I position myself in love, not fear.
I look behind me with forgiveness.
I look forward with festive anticipation.
I embrace this holy moment and assert,
"Now. This moment is the moment to love,
the moment to serve, the moment to seize
the legacy instead of the small.
Now. Now I will live large, love boldly,
reach to the edges of my unfurled heart and fully enrolled hope.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Unless we form the habit of going to the Bible
in bright moments as well as in trouble,
we cannot fully respond to its consolations
because we lack equilibrium between light and darkness.
- Helen Keller

I didn't make it all the way through third grade for nothing.
- the movie The Rescuers Down Under

Greetings, cosmic children of the universe.
Welcome to my serenity circle.
Please leave all bad vibes outside the healing vortex.
- the movie Shrek the Third (2007)

Life is a moderately good play
with a badly written third act.
- Truman Capote

When I am getting ready to reason with a man,
I spend one-third of my time thinking about myself
and what I am going to say
and two-thirds about him and what he is going to say.
- Abraham Lincoln

If you do something once,
people will call it an accident.
If you do it twice, t
hey call it a coincidence.
But do it a third time, and
you've just proven a natural law.
- Grace Hopper

Clarke's Third Law:
Any sufficiently advanced technology
is indistinguishable from magic.
- Arthur C. Clarke

All truth passes through three stages:
First, it is ridiculed;
Second, it is violently opposed;
Third, it is accepted as self-evident.
- Arthur Schopenhauer

I have three precious things which I hold fast and prize.
The first is gentleness;
the second is frugality;
the third is humility, which keeps me from putting myself before others.
Be gentle and you can be bold;
be frugal and you can be generous;
avoid putting yourself before others
and you can become a leader among men.
- Lao Tzu

I, the LORD your God, am a jealous God,
visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children
to the third and fourth generations.
- Exodus 20:5

If you have an important point to make,
don't try to be subtle or clever. Use a pile driver.
Hit the point once. Then come back and hit it again.
Then hit it a third time - a tremendous whack.
- Winston Churchill

Life's like Vegas. You're up, you're down,
but in the end the house always wins.
Doesn't mean you didn't have fun.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

My boyfriend and I broke up.
He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to.
- Rita Rudner

Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer
but wish we didn't.
- Erica Jong

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed
by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do.
So throw off the bowlines.
Sail away from the safe harbor.
Catch the trade winds in your sails.
Explore. Dream. Discover.
- widely misattributed to Mark Twain

We are not held back by the love we didn't receive in the past,
but by the love we're not extending in the present.
- Marianne Williamson

A politician needs the ability to
foretell what is going to happen
tomorrow, next week, next month, and next year.
And to have the ability afterwards
to explain why it didn't happen.
- Winston Churchill

I have found out in later years that we were very poor,
but the glory of America is that we didn't know it then.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

The earth is like a spaceship
that didn't come with an operating manual.
- R. Buckminster Fuller

Does anybody really think that they didn't get what they had
because they didn't have the talent
or the strength or the endurance or the commitment?
- Nelson Mandela


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- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.