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Let these funny Parallel Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
Well excuse me - we've got something
a little unusual going on here -
time travel, parallel universes,
or just a little common ordinary insanity.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The Master teaches that the way of qigong cannot be hurried.
Wuji refers to the time before the creation -
when everything was formless.
Standing in the wuji position, my feet are parallel
to each other, shoulder-width apart.
My knees are slightly bent,
and the tip of my tongue touches the roof of my mouth.
My arms are held in front of me with my elbows bent
and my palms parallel to each other - about four inches apart.
At first I focus on my breathing, and only my breathing.
Later, I visualize the energy or "Qi" between my palms.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
You're already a bastard.
Might as well be an enlightened one.
- the movie Simon Birch
Well, you ask a silly question, and you get a silly answer.
- Tom Lehrer
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A little girl at the wedding afterwards asked her mother
why the bride changed her mind.
What do you mean? responded her mother.
Well, she went down the aisle with one man,
and came back with another.
- Anonymous
The length of this document defends it well
against the risk of its being read.
- Winston Churchill
Principles have no real force except when one is well-fed.
- Mark Twain
If everything seems to be going well,
you have obviously overlooked something.
- Anonymous
You can always tell when a man's well informed.
His views are pretty much like your own.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
I find that principles have no real force
except when one is well fed.
- Mark Twain
Thank God men cannot fly, and lay waste
the sky as well as the earth.
- Henry David Thoreau
Trust your own instinct.
Your mistakes might as well be your own,
instead of someone else's.
- Billy Wilder
It's not very heroic to slay dragons.
Dragons are generally very peaceful and well behaved.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
What would be the use of immortality to a person
who cannot use well a half an hour.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
You may as well laugh at life,
because it's certainly laughing at you.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
A well-developed sense of humor
is the pole that adds balance to your steps,
as you walk the tightrope of life.
- William Arthur Ward
Trust your own inner guidance.
Have faith that your steps are
carrying you toward your dreams.
Keep your eyes on the heavens
and believe that your feet will carry you well.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Never trust a man who speaks well of everybody
- John Churton Collins
Hatred is blind, as well as love.
- Oscar Wilde
Well-behaved women seldom make history.
- Laurel Thatcher Ulrich
Imagine for yourself a character,
a model personality whose example you determine to follow,
in private as well as in public.
- Epictetus
Being angry harms your physical,
emotional, and spiritual well-being.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Life is a dangerous - ultimately fatal - endeavor,
so you may as well live it full out.
Chart your course, cast off the lines,
and boldly sail the seas of life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Hold on... Joyfully.
Holding-on does not have to be
a desperate teeth-gritting kind of holding-on.
Holding-on can be a joyful
"this is just the nature of Life,
so I may as well enjoy it"
kind of holding-on.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The simplification of life is one of the steps to inner peace.
A persistent simplification will create an inner and outer well-being
that places harmony in one's life.
- Peace Pilgrim
Live Well, Love Much, Laugh Often.
- Anonymous
We have nearly complete misunderstanding between
people of different faiths in Lake Wobegon,
and that's probably one reason why we get along so very well.
It's when you are trying to convince another person to think
the same way that you do that there is
friction and trouble between people.
But when you feel that the other person is
dumber than dirt, too dumb for words -
why waste your breath - you get along pretty well.
There's no bond between people that's quite so strong as
when people each feel slightly superior towards the other one.
- Garrison Keillor
Treat the earth well.
It was not given to you by your parents,
it was loaned to you by your children.
We do not inherit the Earth from our Ancestors,
we borrow it from our Children.
- Native American traditional
If a man is called to be a street sweeper,
he should sweep streets even as Michelangelo painted,
or Beethoven composed music, or Shakespeare wrote poetry.
He should sweep streets so well that all the hosts
of heaven and earth will pause to say,
here lived a great street sweeper who did his job well.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
Whatever your life's work is, do it well.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
To the well-organized mind,
death is but the next great adventure.
- J. K. Rowling
The part can never be well unless the whole is well.
- Plato
There is no point at which you can say,
"Well, I'm successful now.
I might as well take a nap."
- Carrie Fisher
Character is higher than intellect.
A great soul will be strong to live as well as think.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
The reward of a thing well done, is to have done it.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
We are not to give credit to the many,
who say that none ought to be educated but the free;
but rather to the philosophers,
who say that the well-educated alone are free.
- Epictetus
The hardest of all, is learning to be
a well of affection, and not a fountain,
to show them that we love them,
not when we feel like it, but when they do.
- Nan Fairbrother
Violence, even well intentioned,
always rebounds upon oneself.
- Lao Tzu
If we spend the time we waste in sighing
for the perfect golden fruit
in fulfilling the conditions of its growth,
happiness will come, must come.
It is guaranteed in the very laws of the universe.
If it involves some chastening and renunciation, well,
the fruit will be all the sweeter for this touch of holiness.
- Helen Keller
To live is to choose. But to choose well,
you must know who you are and what you stand for,
where you want to go and why you want to get there.
- Kofi Annan
The interests of a nation, when well understood,
will be found to coincide with their moral duties.
- Thomas Jefferson
Before we acquire great power
we must acquire wisdom to use it well.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
He's my friend that speaks well of me behind my back.
- Thomas Fuller
It is better to travel well than to arrive.
- The Buddha
Appreciation is a wonderful thing.
It makes what is excellent in others belong to us as well.
- Voltaire
No man who is occupied in doing a very difficult thing,
and doing it very well, ever loses his self-respect.
- George Bernard Shaw
It is not enough to have a good mind,
the main thing is to use it well.
- Rene Descartes
Whenever the people are well-informed,
they can be trusted with their own government.
- Thomas Jefferson
For a people who are free, and who mean to remain so,
a well-organized and armed militia is their best security.
- Thomas Jefferson
Is it not enough to know the evil to shun it?
If not, we should be sincere enough to admit
that we love evil too well to give it up.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
A house is not a home unless it
contains food and fire
for the mind as well as the body.
- Benjamin Franklin
One may as well dam for water tanks
the people's cathedrals and churches,
for no holier temple has ever
been consecrated by the heart of man.
- John Muir
People often say that motivation doesn't last.
Well, neither does bathing - that's why we recommend it daily.
- Zig Ziglar
Well done is better than well said.
- Benjamin Franklin
The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement.
But the opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth.
- Niels Bohr
A well-spent day brings happy sleep.
- Leonardo da Vinci
Look well into thyself; there is a source of strength
which will always spring up if thou wilt always look there.
- Marcus Aurelius
When the well's dry, we know the worth of water.
- Benjamin Franklin
If you want reality to be different than it is,
you might as well try to teach a cat to bark.
- Byron Katie
Ambition has one heel nailed in well,
though she stretch her fingers to touch the heavens.
- Lao Tzu
So confident am I in the intentions,
as well as wisdom, of the government,
that I shall always be satisfied that what is not done,
either cannot, or ought not to be done.
- Thomas Jefferson
You are defined by your habits - choose well.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I distrust those people who know so well
what God wants them to do,
because I notice it always coincides
with their own desires.
- Susan B. Anthony
Life should not be a journey to the grave
with the intention of arriving safely
in a pretty and well preserved body,
but rather to skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke,
thoroughly used up, totally worn out,
and loudly proclaiming, "Wow! What a Ride!"
- Hunter S. Thompson
The more we care for the happiness of others,
the greater is our own sense of well-being.
- Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama
The well-timed question is more impacting than an answer.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Life may not be the party we hoped for,
but while we are here we might as well dance.
- Anonymous
What is once well done is done forever.
- Henry David Thoreau
That some achieve great success,
is proof to all that others can achieve it as well.
- Abraham Lincoln
If there is anything that a man can do well,
I say let him do it. Give him a chance.
- Abraham Lincoln
If you want something to be different than it is,
you might as well teach a cat to bark.
Wanting something to be different than it is, is hopeless.
- Byron Katie
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.