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Let these funny Excuse Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
Well excuse me - we've got something
a little unusual going on here -
time travel, parallel universes,
or just a little common ordinary insanity.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Difficulty is the excuse history never accepts.
- Edward R. Murrow
If I seem to boast more than is becoming,
my excuse is that I brag
for humanity rather than for myself.
- Henry David Thoreau
Many people excuse their own faults
but judge other persons harshly.
We should reverse this attitude
by excusing others' shortcomings
and by harshly examining our own.
- Paramahansa Yogananda
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Personally, I have fond memories of playing
on slippery rocks on the banks of a rushing river
as a child and hitchhiking in college.
To those who say, "But times are different now,"
I reply that statistically life is much safer now
than in the 1950s, with regard to both crime and accidents.
What has changed is our attitudes.
In those years, a broken leg from falling off a swing
or the back of a tractor was just part of childhood -
an excuse for gathering autographs.
Today that broken leg would be a source
of outrage and probably lawsuits.
I long for a simpler time when life was taken less seriously.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
What has happened at Guantanamo Bay...
does not represent the will of the American people.
I'm embarrassed about it, I think its wrong.
I think it does give terrorists an unwarranted excuse
to use the despicable means to hurt innocent people.
- Jimmy Carter
Ninety-nine percent of the failures
come from people who have the habit of making excuses.
- George Washington Carver
What are you committed to?
Have you started, or are you still thinking about it -
and making excuses?
Do you work toward your goal each day?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I am the owner of my choices.
I am the source for the perspectives I choose to hold...
regardless of how aware I am of why or how I come to possess
that particular perspective.
It takes courage to look into the mirror of our souls, absent excuses.
I will look into that mirror little bits at a time.
SEE and ACT. SEE what I can bear to see and ACT upon what I am able.
This is the heart of a gentle invitation to personal responsibility.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
I think what's going on in Guantanamo Bay
and other places is a disgrace to the U.S.A.
I wouldn't say it's the cause of terrorism,
but it has given impetus and excuses to potential terrorists
to lash out at our country and justify their despicable acts.
- Jimmy Carter
Ninety-nine percent of who you are
is invisible and untouchable.
- R. Buckminster Fuller
Life is ten percent what happens to you
and ninety percent how you respond to it.
- Lou Holtz
I think and think for months and years.
Ninety-nine times, the conclusion is false.
The hundredth time I am right.
- Albert Einstein
Genius is one percent inspiration
and ninety-nine percent perspiration.
- Thomas Edison
Possession isn't nine-tenths of the law.
It's nine-tenths of the problem.
- John Lennon
A democracy is nothing more than mob rule,
where fifty-one percent of the people
may take away the rights of the other forty-nine.
- attributed to Thomas Jefferson
Nine-tenths of the people were created
so you would want to be with the other tenth.
- Horace Walpole
There are nine requisites for contented living:
HEALTH enough to make work a pleasure;
WEALTH enough to support your needs;
STRENGTH enough to battle with difficulties and forsake them;
GRACE enough to confess your sins and overcome them;
PATIENCE enough to toil until some good is accomplished;
CHARITY enough to see some good in your neighbor;
LOVE enough to move you to be useful and helpful to others;
FAITH enough to make real the things of God;
HOPE enough to remove all anxious fears concerning the future.
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
The possession of knowledge does not
kill the sense of wonder and mystery.
There is always more mystery.
- Anais Nin
Love does not claim possession, but gives freedom.
- Rabindranath Tagore
Riches do not exhilarate us so much with their possession
as they torment us with their loss.
- Epicurus
Health is the greatest possession.
Contentment is the greatest treasure.
Confidence is the greatest friend.
Non-being is the greatest joy.
- Lao Tzu
Who hears me, who understands me, becomes mine,
a possession for all time.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Every increased possession
loads us with a new weariness.
- John Ruskin
Gentleness, self-sacrifice and generosity
are the exclusive possession of no one race or religion.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
The search for truth is more precious than its possession.
- Albert Einstein
Music is everybody's possession.
It's only publishers who think that people own it.
- John Lennon
It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble.
It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.
- Mark Twain (attributed)
Most people's historical perspective
begins with the day of their birth.
- Rush Limbaugh
Belief is not the beginning but the end of all knowledge.
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
Where there is shouting, there is no true knowledge.
- Leonardo da Vinci
Our faith gives us knowledge of something better.
- E. F. Schumacher
Ignorance more frequently begets confidence than does knowledge:
it is those who know little, and not those who know much,
who so positively assert that this or that problem
will never be solved by science.
- Charles Darwin
The great end of life is not knowledge but action.
- Thomas Henry Huxley
The goal of education is the advancement of knowledge
and the dissemination of truth.
- John F. Kennedy
Where ignorance is our master,
there is no possibility of real peace.
- Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama
Knowledge of the Truth makes us free
by aligning us with that which was never bound.
- Ernest Holmes
We know nothing at all.
All our knowledge is but the knowledge of schoolchildren.
The real nature of things we shall never know.
- Albert Einstein
The most telling act of true Faith
is celebrating the death of a loved one
with the certain knowledge that
they are now in a better place.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
In today's knowledge-based economy,
what you earn depends on what you learn.
- William J. Clinton
If a man empties his purse into his head,
no man can take it away from him.
An investment in knowledge always pays the best interest.
- Benjamin Franklin
Knowledge is soon changed, then lost in the mist, an echo half-heard.
- Gene Wolfe
All our knowledge has its origins in our perceptions.
- Leonardo da Vinci
It is the province of knowledge to speak,
and it is the privilege of wisdom to listen.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.
To acquire knowledge, one must study;
but to acquire wisdom, one must observe.
- Marilyn vos Savant
Knowledge talks, Wisdom listens.
- Anonymous
If what Proust says is true,
that happiness is the absence of fever,
then I will never know happiness.
For I am possessed by a fever
for knowledge, experience, and creation.
- Anais Nin
Whoever undertakes to set himself up
as a judge of Truth and Knowledge
is shipwrecked by the laughter of the gods.
- Albert Einstein
Science investigates religion interprets.
Science gives man knowledge which is power
Religion gives man wisdom which is control.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
Knowledge is love and light and vision.
- Helen Keller
The difference between a successful person and others
is not a lack of strength,
not a lack of knowledge,
but rather a lack of will.
- Vince Lombardi
Knowledge speaks, but wisdom listens.
- Jimi Hendrix
Imagination is more important than knowledge.
- Albert Einstein
The bulk of the world's knowledge is an imaginary construction.
- Helen Keller
The greatest obstacle to discovery is not ignorance -
it is the illusion of knowledge.
- Daniel J. Boorstin
Beware of false knowledge;
it is more dangerous than ignorance.
- George Bernard Shaw
When I examine myself and my methods of thought,
I come to the conclusion that the gift of fantasy
has meant more to me than
any talent for absorbing positive knowledge.
- Albert Einstein
Borrowing knowledge of reality from all sources,
taking the best from every study,
Science of Mind brings together
the highest enlightenment of the ages.
- Ernest Holmes
Those who have knowledge, don't predict.
Those who predict, don't have knowledge.
- Lao Tzu
Real knowledge is to know the extent of one's ignorance.
- Confucius
The only source of knowledge is experience.
- Albert Einstein
The true sign of intelligence
is not knowledge but imagination.
- Albert Einstein
Uncertainty that comes from knowledge
(knowing what you don't know)
is different from uncertainty coming from ignorance.
- Isaac Asimov
Knowledge is knowing that we cannot know.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
The gift of fantasy has meant more to me
than my talent for absorbing positive knowledge.
- Albert Einstein
Information is not knowledge.
- Albert Einstein
Science gives man knowledge, which is power;
religion gives man wisdom, which is control.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
To be conscious that you are ignorant
is a great step to knowledge.
- Benjamin Disraeli
Knowledge is happiness, because to have knowledge -
broad, deep knowledge - is to know true ends from false,
and lofty things from low.
- Helen Keller
There comes a time when the mind
takes a higher plane of knowledge
but can never prove how it got there.
- Albert Einstein
Whoever loves instruction loves knowledge,
but he who hates correction is stupid.
- Anonymous
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.