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Let these funny Numbers Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
Your success will shine as a light of hope
and inspire numbers you cannot total.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
It takes a big cat to be number 2.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
If we were to do the Second Coming of Christ
in color for a full hour,
there would be a considerable number of stations
which would decline to carry it on the grounds
that a Western or a quiz show would be more profitable.
- Edward R. Murrow
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take,
but by the moments that take our breath away.
- Anonymous
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Few is the number of those
who think with their own mind
and feel with their own heart.
- Albert Einstein
A man is rich in proportion to
the number of things he can afford to let alone.
- Henry David Thoreau
The grand aim of all science is to cover
the greatest number of empirical facts
by logical deduction from
the smallest number of hypotheses or axioms.
- Albert Einstein
The value of a principle is the number of things it will explain.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Each of us is burdened by an unlimited number of
expectations (demands) that we hold for the actions of others.
We "know" that there is a right way to do things,
and are often outraged when our expectations are not met.
Usually, we are unaware that we merely
have a strong opinion and point-of-view,
and are sure that we know how everything is supposed to be.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Small is the number of people who
see with their eyes
and think with their minds.
- Albert Einstein
There are a number of things wrong with Washington.
One of them is that everyone is too far from home.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
By nature, we are all creatures of habit.
We instinctively adopt familiar routines for most activities.
We eat about the same number of meals each day -
at more or less the same times.
We have a regular pattern of sleeping -
unless it is perturbed by illness or shift work.
Most everything we do is habitual.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
One measure of friendship consists
not in the number of things friends can discuss,
but in the number of things they need no longer mention.
- Clifton Fadiman
There are other measures of self-respect for a man,
than the number of clean shirts he puts on every day.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
It is the quality of the moment,
not the number of days, or events, or of actors, that imports.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
The more a man can forget, the greater the number
of metamorphoses which his life can undergo,
the more he can remember, the more divine his life becomes.
- Soren Kierkegaard
Mastery is not measured by the number of terrible
things you eliminate from your life, but by
the number of times you eliminate calling them terrible.
- Neale Donald Walsch
It's easy to have faith in yourself and have discipline
when you're a winner, when you're number one.
What you've got to have is faith and discipline
when you're not yet a winner.
- Vince Lombardi
Happiness lies in accepting everyone
in our lives EXACTLY as they are.
We cause ourselves untold misery whenever
we believe others to be imperfect and try to change them.
This is the number one rule for a happy relationship.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I want to share with you the three rules
that I have in order to accept an apprentice.
Rule Number 1: Don't believe me.
I don't want you to believe me
but I want you to listen and make choices - your choices.
If what I say, doesn't work for you, leave it.
But if it works for you and that's what you want, then make it yours.
Rule Number 2: Don't believe yourself.
Why? Because most of your belief system is a lie - it's not true.
And by believing yourself, you create all the limitations
that don't allow you to be what you really are.
Don't believe yourself. Listen to what you say,
listen to what you think, listen to what you believe.
And when you listen, open your ears, open your mind,
open your intelligence and make choices.
Rule 3 is, don't believe anybody else.
Don't believe them at all.
Open your ears and your mind; listen and make choices.
- don Miguel Ruiz
You know, it takes two to get one in trouble.
- the movie She Done Him Wrong (1933)
Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter
quite like unrequited love.
- Charlie Brown in Charles M. Schulz' Peanuts comic
Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak;
courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen.
- Winston Churchill
Harvard takes perfectly good plums as students,
and turns them into prunes.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
An intellectual is a man
who takes more words than necessary
to tell more than he knows.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
Curiosity takes courage.
The most important promises are the ones you make to yourself.
Pay Attention.
Appreciate. Listen. Imagine.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
He who takes medicine and neglects his diet
wastes the skill of his doctors.
- Chinese Proverb
Yes! it takes courage to act upon your dreams.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
It takes time to persuade men to do even
what is for their own good.
- Thomas Jefferson
It takes a long while for a naturally trustful person
to reconcile himself to the idea that
after all God will not help him
- H. L. Mencken
It takes as much energy to wish as it does to plan.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
The revelation of thought takes men
out of servitude into freedom.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
The obscure we see eventually.
The completely obvious,
it seems, takes longer.
- Edward R. Murrow
There comes a time when the mind
takes a higher plane of knowledge
but can never prove how it got there.
- Albert Einstein
Love gives naught but itself
and takes naught but from itself.
Love possesses not
nor would it be possessed;
For love is sufficient unto love.
- Khalil Gibran
The quality of mercy is not strained.
It droppeth as the gentle rain from heaven
Upon the place beneath. It is twice blest:
It blesseth him that gives and him that takes.
- William Shakespeare
He is a drunkard who takes more than
three glasses though he be not drunk.
- Epictetus
The journey between what you once were
and who you are now becoming
is where the dance of Life really takes place.
- Barbara De Angelis
A religion that takes no account of practical affairs
and does not help to solve them, is no religion.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Anyone can be passionate, but
it takes real lovers to be silly.
- Rose Franken
God always takes the simplest way.
- Albert Einstein
It takes more than just a good looking body.
You've got to have the heart and soul to go with it.
- Epictetus
It takes years to build up trust,
and only seconds to destroy it.
- Anonymous
It takes two to speak the truth:
one to speak, and another to hear.
- Henry David Thoreau
Wherever life takes us, there are always moments of wonder.
- Jimmy Carter
Don't fall for looks, they can deceive.
Don't fall for wealth, in the end it fades away.
Find someone who makes you smile
because it takes only a smile to make a dark day seem bright.
- Anonymous
Love gives naught but itself
and takes naught but from itself.
- Khalil Gibran
A son is a son till he takes him a wife,
a daughter is a daughter all of her life.
- Irish Traditional
Toleration is the greatest gift of the mind;
it requires the same effort of the brain
that it takes to balance oneself on a bicycle.
- Helen Keller
It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are.
- e. e. cummings
I think the person who takes a job in order to live -
that is to say, for the money -
has turned himself into a slave.
- Joseph Campbell
About leadership: No person can be a great leader
unless he takes genuine joy
in the successes of those under him.
- W. A. Nance
Whatever it takes.
- Anonymous
Love is all, it gives all, and it takes all.
- Soren Kierkegaard
It takes 20 years to make an overnight success.
- Eddie Cantor
Walking takes longer...
than any other known form of locomotion except crawling.
Thus it stretches time and prolongs life.
Life is already too short to waste on speed.
- Edward Abbey
If you really aren't trying to get anywhere else in this moment,
patience takes care of itself.
- Jon Kabat-Zinn
Every loving thought is true.
Everything else is an appeal for healing and help,
regardless of the form it takes.
- A Course In Miracles
Anger is a killing thing:
it kills the man who angers,
for each rage leaves him less than he had been before -
it takes something from him.
- Louis L'Amour
It takes discipline and compassion
to awaken the divine in ourselves long enough
to recognize the divine in another.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Courage is contagious. When a brave man takes a stand,
the spines of others are often stiffened.
- Billy Graham
Music takes us out of the actual
and whispers to us dim secrets
that startle our wonder as to who we are.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
It takes a great deal of courage to stand up to your enemies,
but even more to stand up to your friends.
- J.K. Rowling
It takes a long time to grow an old friend.
- John Leonard
If everyone is moving forward together,
then success takes care of itself.
- Henry Ford
Any intelligent fool can make things bigger and more complex...
It takes a touch of genius - and a lot of courage
to move in the opposite direction.
- Albert Einstein
The uncreative mind can spot wrong answers,
but it takes a very creative mind to spot wrong questions.
- Antony Jay
Bold Light of Spirit:
Out of the darkness and into the light,
Open our eyes and behold such a sight.
Brilliance of day takes the place of the night,
Boldness and courage are swords of His Might.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I am the owner of my choices.
I am the source for the perspectives I choose to hold...
regardless of how aware I am of why or how I come to possess
that particular perspective.
It takes courage to look into the mirror of our souls, absent excuses.
I will look into that mirror little bits at a time.
SEE and ACT. SEE what I can bear to see and ACT upon what I am able.
This is the heart of a gentle invitation to personal responsibility.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Nothing is more valuable than your self respect.
When you lose respect for yourself, you have lost everything.
Whatever it takes, and whoever you upset,
do what you know - deep inside - is the right thing.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Once you have seen the truth
you must make the decision to let go
of the pain, anger, and resentment you have been holding on to.
This requires you to take action.
If you are attached to your pain, resentment,
and self-righteousness, and addicted to your emotional reactions,
this will be a difficult step for you.
Taking action requires letting go of the very thing
you have been holding on to for so many years.
There is comfort in what we find familiar,
even if we are experiencing pain and suffering.
The pain and suffering itself becomes the familiarity we seek.
It takes absolute faith in yourself
plus courage, will, and discipline to let go.
But once you let go, it will be as if
the weight of the world has been taken off your shoulders.
In this process it is important to forgive
not just the others in our lives, but also ourselves.
For most people, giving ourselves
the gift of forgiveness is very challenging.
- Sheri Rosenthal
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.