Funny Total Quotes - Funny Quotes about Total

Funny Total Quotes
Funny Quotes about Total

Let these funny Total Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

If you have only one smile in you,
give it to the people you love.
Don't be surly at home,
then go out in the street
and start grinning good morning
at total strangers.
- Maya Angelou

Urgency is a grim taskmaster.
Escape time, and life becomes irie.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
("Irie" is a Jamaican word for being at total peace
with your current state of being.)

Love is the total absence of fear.
Love asks no questions.
Its natural state is one of extension and expansion,
not comparison and measurement.
- Gerald Jampolsky

Don't think you can attain total awareness and whole enlightenment
without proper discipline and practice. This is egomania.
Appropriate rituals channel your emotions
and life energy toward the light.
Without the discipline to practice them,
you will tumble constantly backward into darkness.
- Lao Tzu

I believe totally in a Capitalist System,
I only wish that someone would try it.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

Positive thinking has acquired a bad reputation -
which I believe to be totally undeserved.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

A single event can awaken a stranger totally unknown to us.
To live is to be slowly born.
- Antoine de Saint-Exupery

The spirit of this country is totally adverse to a large military force.
- Thomas Jefferson

Life should not be a journey to the grave
with the intention of arriving safely
in a pretty and well preserved body,
but rather to skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke,
thoroughly used up, totally worn out,
and loudly proclaiming, "Wow! What a Ride!"
- Hunter S. Thompson

If you're totally illiterate and living on one dollar a day,
the benefits of globalization never come to you.
- Jimmy Carter

When you are eating, eat totally -
chew totally, taste totally, smell totally.
Touch your bread, feel the texture.
Smell the bread, smell the flavor.
Chew it, let it dissolve into your being,
and remain conscious - and you are meditating.
And then meditation is not separate from life.
- Osho

Do the small things of life with a relaxed awareness.
When you are eating, eat totally -
chew totally, taste totally, smell totally.
Touch your bread, feel the texture.
Smell the bread, smell the flavor.
Chew it, let it dissolve into your being.
- Osho

Drop guilt! - because to be guilty is to live in hell.
Not being guilty, you will have the freshness
of dewdrops in the early morning sun,
you will have the freshness of lotus petals in the lake,
you will have the freshness of the stars in the night.
Once guilt disappears you will have
a totally different kind of life, luminous and radiant.
You will have a dance to your feet
and your heart will be singing a thousand and one songs.
- Osho

Zen says that if you drop knowledge -
and within knowledge everything is included;
your name, your identity, everything,
because this has been given to you by others -
if you drop all that has been given by others,
you will have a totally different quality to your being: innocence.
This will be a crucifixion of the persona, the personality,
and there will be a resurrection of your innocence.
You will become a child again, reborn.
- Osho

The witnessing soul is like the sky.
The birds fly in the sky but they don't leave any footprints.
That's what Buddha says, that the man who is awakened
lives in such a way that he leaves no footprints.
He is without wounds and without scars; he never looks back -
there is no point. He has lived that moment so totally
that what is the need to look back again and again?
He never looks ahead, he never looks back, he lives in the moment.
- Osho

"When I use a word," Humpty Dumpty said in rather a scornful tone,
"it means just what I choose it to mean - neither more nor less."
- Lewis Carroll

Choose what lies in the shadows to be a matter
for discovery and adventure, rather than fear.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Choose to be as a young child -
fully awake, eager for the next experience.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I choose my friends for their good looks,
my acquaintances for their good characters,
and my enemies for their intellects.
A man cannot be too careful in the choice of his enemies.
- Oscar Wilde

Early in life I had to choose between honest arrogance
and hypocritical humility.
I chose the former and have seen no reason to change.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

We who lived in concentration camps can remember the men
who walked through the huts comforting others,
giving away their last piece of bread...
They offer sufficient proof that everything
can be taken from a man but one thing:
to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances,
to choose one's own way.
- Viktor E. Frankl

The third certainty of life, after death and taxes,
is that nothing will work out the way you want.
Life is fully as bad as you think it is.
Choose to live joyfully anyway.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Apathy, indifference, not caring...
It may sound insensitive for me to say, "I don't care,"
but ask first to what I am indifferent.
I choose to be caring, compassionate
and kind toward all people,
and I also choose to be indifferent to gossip,
petty complaints, and idle chatter.
About those, I just don't care.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Choose the World You See,
and See the World You Choose.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

We cannot choose our external circumstances,
but we can always choose how to respond to them.
- Epictetus

Affirmation:
Today I choose the higher road -
the path of charity, acceptance,
love, selflessness, kindness.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life is lived in the living.
Set aside convention, caution,
and arbitrary "rules" about how
life is supposed to be lived.
Choose! Explore! Adventure!
Live life to the fullest.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Today, I choose the higher road -
the path of charity, acceptance, love, selflessness, kindness.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Pain is what the world inflicts upon us.
Suffering is our emotional reaction when we fail
to make the difficult conscious choice to choose Joy.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Live life with no regrets and no resentments.
Whatever happened in the past,
forgive yourself and others. Choose love.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life will not meet your expectations -
choose joy anyway.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Live with intention.
Walk to the edge.
Listen hard.
Practice wellness.
Play with abandon.
Laugh.
Choose with no regret.
Appreciate your friends.
Continue to learn.
Do what you love.
Live as if this is all there is.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Choose Inner Peace.
Nothing is worth losing your inner peace.
Take action as circumstances require,
but never surrender your inner peace.
Stop. Breathe deeply.
Close your eyes and breathe deeply again.
Then, and only then, take action -
from a peaceful heart.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The greatest weapon against stress
is our ability to choose one thought over another.
- William James

Everyone should carefully observe
which way his heart draws him,
and then choose that way with all his strength.
- Hasidic Proverb

You don't get to choose how you're going to die,
only how you're going to live.
- Joan Baez

You will always have habits -
things you do regularly and without conscious thought -
but you do have the ability to CHOOSE your habits.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Know the best and highest choices for health
and more often choose those things.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Participate joyfully in the sorrows of the world.
We cannot cure the world of sorrows,
but we can choose to live in joy.
- Joseph Campbell

CHOOSE your future, and take ACTION -
be the hammer, not the nail.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The only reason you suffer is because you choose to suffer.
The only reason you are happy is because you choose to be happy.
Happiness is a choice, and so is suffering.
- don Miguel Ruiz

Humans do have an amazing capacity
for believing what they choose,
and excluding that which is painful.
- Spock (character in Star Trek television series)

I become happy when I choose to accept and love all of life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Today is a day to choose a different path.
Enjoy the unknown way - one step at a time.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Time, an untamed beast,
awaits its funeral feast.
I choose inner peace.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Be careful the friends you choose -
for you will become like them.
- W. Clement Stone

To live is to choose. But to choose well,
you must know who you are and what you stand for,
where you want to go and why you want to get there.
- Kofi Annan

I renounce all assumptions and expectations.
I thoughtfully consider all possibilities,
and CHOOSE among them with consciousness.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Choose! If it's worth doing, do it today.
If it's not worth doing today, save yourself a lot
of worry and regret by choosing to permanently
erase it from your to-do list.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Exercise free-will.
CHOOSE each and every action you make,
every thought you think,
and every emotion you feel.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I CHOOSE with courage, awareness, consciousness,
and compassion toward all.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Much in life can be seen as ugly or beautiful - it's our choice.
Why would we choose to see any part of life as ugly?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

It is nearly a certainty that some
of your expectations will not be met today -
choose Joy anyway.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I am a being of free-will,
and I CHOOSE each and every action I make,
every thought I think, and every emotion I feel.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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