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Let these funny Profitable Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
If we were to do the Second Coming of Christ
in color for a full hour,
there would be a considerable number of stations
which would decline to carry it on the grounds
that a Western or a quiz show would be more profitable.
- Edward R. Murrow
Profit is a by-product of work;
happiness is its chief product.
- Henry Ford
If in our daily life we can smile,
if we can be peaceful and happy,
not only we, but everyone will profit from it.
This is the most basic kind of peace work.
- Thich Nhat Hanh
Many receive advice, only the wise profit from it.
- Publilius Syrus
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Not paying a just wage, not giving work,
only because one is looking at the bottom line,
at the budget of the company, seeking only profit -
that is against God.
- Pope Francis
What does it profit, my brethren,
if someone says he has faith but does not have works?
Can faith save him?
- James 2:14
Everything we say, do, think, and feel
is a product of our personal history
and the collective history of humankind.
Our name for these histories is "prejudice."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Happiness is not a goal; it is a by-product.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
Beating an opponent is not a goal,
but a by-product of success.
- John Wooden
Happiness is mostly a by-product of doing what makes us feel fulfilled.
- Benjamin Spock
Wealth, like happiness, is never attained when sought after directly.
It comes as a by-product of providing a useful service.
- Henry Ford
A man is but the product of his thoughts -
what he thinks, he becomes.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists?
In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet.
- Woody Allen
Tip the world over on its side and
everything loose will land in Los Angeles.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
Damn it boss, I like you too much not to say it.
You've got everything except one thing: madness!
- the movie Zorba The Greek
I can resist everything except temptation.
- Oscar Wilde
One cannot have everything the way he would like it.
A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment,
anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.
- Mark Twain
I want to thank my parents for everything I am today -
fat, miserable, and paranoid.
- Anonymous
Here's a toast to your new bride who has everything a girl
could want in her life, except for good taste in men.
- Anonymous
When everything comes your way
you're in the wrong lane.
- Anonymous
Attitude is everything.
- Charles Swindoll
The unleashed power of the atom has changed everything
save our modes of thinking
and we thus drift toward unparalleled catastrophe.
- Albert Einstein
Everything that can be invented has been invented.
- Charles H. Duell [attributed]
(Commissioner, US Patent Office, in 1899)
The simple life is everything Vogue isn't.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I am no longer young enough to know everything.
- Oscar Wilde
The more he became truly wise,
the more he distrusted everything he knew.
- Voltaire
If everything seems to be going well,
you have obviously overlooked something.
- Anonymous
A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.
- Phyllis Diller
People who think they know everything
are a great annoyance to those of us who do.
- Isaac Asimov
I am not young enough to know everything.
- Oscar Wilde
Time is nature's way of keeping everything from happening at once.
- Woody Allen
A cynic is a man who knows the price of everything
and the value of nothing.
- Oscar Wilde
Everything is a miracle,
not just the beautiful and lovely things.
- Anonymous
Nature does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished.
- Lao Tzu
When I see Spirit in everything, Peace is at hand.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I believe that everything happens for a reason.
People change so that you can learn to let go,
things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right,
you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself,
and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.
- Marilyn Monroe
There are only two ways to live your life.
One is as though nothing is a miracle.
The other is as though everything is a miracle.
- Albert Einstein
Miracles occur naturally as expressions of love.
The real miracle is the love that inspires them.
In this sense everything that comes from love is a miracle.
- A Course in Miracles
Everything has beauty,
but not everyone sees it.
- Confucius
I Receive ALL of Life with Thanksgiving -
I have gratitude for EVERYTHING
that has ever occurred to bring me to this moment.
I give thanks for the joys and the sufferings,
the moments of peace and the flashes of anger,
the compassion and the indifference,
the roar of my courage and the cold sweat of my fear.
I accept gratefully the entirety of my past and my present life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
In three words, I can sum up everything
I've learned about life - it goes on.
- Robert Frost
We who lived in concentration camps can remember the men
who walked through the huts comforting others,
giving away their last piece of bread...
They offer sufficient proof that everything
can be taken from a man but one thing:
to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances,
to choose one's own way.
- Viktor E. Frankl
So divinely is the world organized that every one of us,
in our place and time, is in balance with everything else.
- Adam Acone
It is easy enough to be pleasant
When life flows by like a song,
But the man worth while is the one who will smile
When everything goes dead wrong.
- Ella Wheeler Wilcox
Presence requires an internal alertness
to the all and everything surrounding us.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Everything that irritates us about others
can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.
- Carl Jung
Everything we believe is a matter of evolution and history.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Religion has convinced people that there's an invisible man
... living in the sky. Who watches everything you do
every minute of every day. And the invisible man
has a list of ten specific things he doesn't want you to do.
And if you do any of these things,
he will send you to a special place, of burning and fire
and smoke and torture and anguish for you to live forever,
and suffer, and suffer, and burn, and scream,
until the end of time. But he loves you. He loves you.
He loves you and he needs money.
- George Carlin
Maybe I could have loved you better.
Maybe you should have loved me more.
Maybe our hearts were just next in line.
Maybe everything breaks sometime.
- Jewel
Feeling overwhelmed by apparent demands on our time
is like going to a restaurant,
ordering everything on the menu,
and complaining about indigestion.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Infinite striving to be the best is man's duty;
it is its own reward.
Everything else is in God's hands.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Our opportunity is to Soar our Spirit.
To see Light and Joy in everything.
To spread our wings and fly boldly.
To give thanks for rainbows and butterflies -
our symbols of renewal and rebirth.
To offer daily Thanksgiving - for ourselves, our family,
our friends, our community, for the whole world.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Everything you say and do,
is a reflection of the inner you.
- Anonymous
For everything I observe or experience,
I create a story - not sometimes, but always.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Christmas waves a magic wand over this world,
and behold, everything is softer and more beautiful.
- Norman Vincent Peale
Imagination decides everything.
- Blaise Pascal
I Am One With Spirit and All Creation -
I give thanks for the unity of all creation
and for everything that has brought me to this moment.
I release my entire being to the gentle nurture of Spirit.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
There is nothing more depressing,
than having everything,
and still feeling sad.
- Janet Jackson
Better learn balance. Balance is key.
Balance good, karate good. Everything good.
Balance bad, better pack up, go home. Understand?
- Miyagi: character in the movie Karate Kid
I thank Spirit for EVERYTHING
that has brought me to this moment,
and entrust my entire being
to the gentle nurture of Spirit.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Ah, not everything is as seems...
- Miyagi: character in the movie Karate Kid
Everything has rhythm. everything dances.
- Maya Angelou
All differences in this world
are of degree, and not of kind,
because oneness is the secret of everything.
- Swami Vivekananda
Everything is not as it appears to be.
- Proverb
Personal importance, or taking things personally,
is the maximum expression of selfishness
because we make the assumption that everything is about me.
- don Miguel Ruiz
Integrity is the essence of everything successful.
- R. Buckminster Fuller
Everything is made of light
- don Miguel Ruiz
Never be in a hurry; do everything quietly and in a calm spirit.
Do not lose your inner peace for anything whatsoever,
even if your whole world seems upset.
- Saint Francis de Sales
There is a crack in everything,
that's how the light gets in.
- Leonard Cohen
Make everything as simple as possible, but not simpler.
- Albert Einstein
Know nothing. For to know nothing is to know everything.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.