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Let these funny Horses Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
I can make more generals, but horses cost money.
- Abraham Lincoln
I ride my blue polka-dot horse through the byways of life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
A difference of opinion is what makes horse racing and missionaries.
- Will Rogers
For want of a nail the shoe was lost;
for want of a shoe the horse was lost;
and for want of a horse the rider was lost.
- Benjamin Franklin
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Some people regard private enterprise
as a predatory tiger to be shot.
Others look on it as a cow they can milk.
Not enough people see it
as a healthy horse, pulling a sturdy wagon.
- Winston Churchill
Fasten your safety belts, clench your buttocks!
It's going be a bumpy ride!
- the movie Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (2004)
Life is a grand adventure - enjoy the ride.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Ride the storm. Cheer wildly.
Gather strength from life's storms.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Hitch a Ride on the River of Life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
My wish is to ride the tempest, tame the waves.
- Trieu Thi Trinh
Life ain't always beautiful,
but it's a beautiful ride.
- Gary Allen
I ride the storm - cheering wildly.
I gather strength from the storm.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Love doesn't make the world go 'round,
Love is what makes the ride worthwhile.
- Franklin P. Jones
Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo,
but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you
when the limo breaks down.
- Oprah Winfrey
A man can't ride your back unless it's bent.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
Life should not be a journey to the grave
with the intention of arriving safely
in a pretty and well preserved body,
but rather to skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke,
thoroughly used up, totally worn out,
and loudly proclaiming, "Wow! What a Ride!"
- Hunter S. Thompson
Ride With the Devil.
- Jewel
There is no doubt that life can be a bumpy ride.
But so were those roller coasters you loved as a kid.
Savor the adventure.
Find excitement in the uncertainty and the constant change.
Even let a touch of fear add spice to your life -
as you did on that roller coaster.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Change does not roll in on the wheels of inevitability,
but comes through continuous struggle.
And so we must straighten our backs and work for our freedom.
A man can't ride you unless your back is bent.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
Trust:
Perhaps you trust your doctor,
your lawyer, your boss - perhaps not.
Perhaps you trust in a "Higher Power" - perhaps you don't.
Trust is something that we become aware of in unusual situations,
such as a once-in-a-lifetime ride on a zip-line,
but most of the time, we become oblivious
to the trust we have, or don't have.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner
Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer
Now, if you don't mind, I'd appreciate it if you could lower your wand.
- the movie Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
Look your best - who said love is blind?
- Mae West
Will the people in the cheaper seats clap your hands?
And the rest of you, if you'll just rattle your jewelry.
- John Lennon
Yield to temptation. It may not pass your way again.
- Robert A. Heinlein
The key is, to not think of death as an end,
but as more of a very effective way to cut down on your expenses.
- the movie Love and Death
When everything comes your way
you're in the wrong lane.
- Anonymous
When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain.
- Mark Twain
Crazy is walking down the street
with half a cantaloupe on your head,
muttering; "I'm a hamster, I'm a hamster."
- the movie Spy Hard (1996)
Here's a toast to your new bride who has everything a girl
could want in her life, except for good taste in men.
- Anonymous
The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
- Albert Einstein
New Yorkers love it when you spill your guts out there.
Spill your guts at Wimbledon and they make you stop and clean it up.
- Jimmy Carter
It's not the men in your life that counts,
it's the life in your men.
- Mae West, in the movie I'm No Angel
Always forgive your enemies -
nothing annoys them so much.
- Oscar Wilde
It is a truth universally acknowledged that
when one part of your life starts going okay,
another falls spectacularly to pieces.
- the movie Bridget Jones Diary
A friend will tell you she saw your old boyfriend -
and he's a priest.
- Erma Bombeck
To keep your marriage brimming,
With love in the wedding cup,
Whenever you're wrong, admit it;
Whenever you're right, shut up.
- Ogden Nash
(Groom), take (Bride)'s hand and place your hand over hers.
Now, remember this moment and cherish it...
because this will be the last time you ever have the upper hand.
- Anonymous
When your friends begin to flatter
you on how young you look,
it's a sure sign you're getting old.
- Mark Twain
Marriage is like putting your hand into a bag of snakes
in the hope of pulling out an eel.
- Leonardo da Vinci
There's no reason to become alarmed,
and we hope you'll enjoy the rest of your flight.
By the way, is there anyone on board who knows how to fly a plane?
- the movie Airplane!
Stay Happy, never let anyone get your goat.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
What If Every Day Were Your Day -
Celebrate Whimsey Today.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Knowing your own darkness is the best method
for dealing with the darknesses of other people.
- Carl Jung
Never try to teach a pig to sing.
It wastes your time, and it annoys the pig.
- Mark Twain
Choose to soar. Choose to fly your dreams.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
A positive attitude may not solve all your problems,
but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.
- Herm Albright
Until you've lost your reputation,
you never realize what a burden it was.
- Margaret Mitchell
Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute and it
seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour
and it seems like a minute. That's relativity.
- Albert Einstein
True love comes quietly,
without banners or flashing lights.
If you hear bells, get your ears checked.
- Erich Segal
Except in cases of necessity, which are rare,
leave your friend to learn
unpleasant things from his enemies;
they are ready enough to tell them.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.
The best way to appreciate your job
is to imagine yourself without one.
- Oscar Wilde
Oh, you weak, beautiful people
who give up with such grace.
What you need is someone to take hold of you -
gently, with love, and hand your life back to you.
- Tennessee Williams
God Loves an Open Mind, Clean Hands, and a Loving Heart.
So does Your Mother.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
It is far more impressive when others
discover your good qualities without your help.
- Judith Martin
Though I am a servant, I am not your servant.
- Ursula K. Le Guin
A true friend is one who
overlooks your failures
and tolerates your success.
- Doug Larson
Let your sympathies and your compassion
be always with the under dog in the fight -
this is magnanimity;
but bet on the other one - this is business.
- Mark Twain
Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer.
- the movie The Godfather, Part II
A loyal friend laughs at your jokes
when they're not so good,
and sympathizes with your problems
when they're not so bad.
- Arnold H. Glasgow
Don't die with your music still inside you.
Listen to your intuitive inner voice
and find what passion stirs your soul.
- Wayne Dyer
This is your day to Laugh at Life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards.
- Benjamin Franklin
Powerful Dreams Inspire Powerful Action.
When you can taste, smell, and touch your dreams,
you can enroll the world.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Life is serious, get out your magic wand.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Grit ruins clam chowder,
but enhances your character.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
As the evening beckons with the promise of tomorrow...
may your gratitude rise up and with strength answer, "yes."
- Mary Anne Radmacher
You are Never Too Old to Give or Get Gold Stars.
Show Your Honest Appreciation - Today.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I don't advise a haircut, man.
All hairdressers are in the employment of the government.
Hairs are your aerials.
They pick up signals from the cosmos,
and transmit them directly into the brain.
This is the reason bald-headed men are uptight.
- the movie Withnail & I
You know your god is man-made when he
hates all the same people you do.
- Anonymous
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.