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Funny Quotes about Life
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Funny Racing Quotes
Funny Quotes about Racing

Let these funny Racing Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

A difference of opinion is what makes horse racing and missionaries.
- Will Rogers

New York City is a great monument
to the power of money and greed...
a race for rent.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

I will far rather see the race of man extinct
than that we should become less than beasts
by making the noblest of God's creation,
woman, the object of our lust.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

The end of the human race will be that
it will eventually die of civilization.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson


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Our loyalties must transcend our race, our tribe,
our class, and our nation;
and this means we must develop a world perspective.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

NO ONE is really different;
each of us is actually a member of the human race.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Each man is afraid of his neighbor's disapproval -
a thing which, to the general run of the human race,
is more dreaded than wolves and death.
- Mark Twain


 

If you have no confidence in self,
you are twice defeated in the race of life.
With confidence, you have won even before you have started.
- Marcus Tullius Cicero

Slow but steady wins the race.
- Anonymous

Life is a journey. It is not a race to test
who can finish first or who can end up with the most loot.
Rather, life is best enjoyed as a meander -
watching the view to left and right - above and below -
as the days slowly move past in dress review.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If the human race wishes to have a
prolonged and indefinite period of material prosperity,
they have only got to behave in a
peaceful and helpful way toward one another.
- Winston Churchill

The human race has one really effective weapon,
and that is laughter.
- Mark Twain

If you go on with this nuclear arms race,
all you are going to do is make the rubble bounce.
- Winston Churchill

No one has been barred on account of his race
from fighting or dying for America,
there are no white or colored signs
on the foxholes or graveyards of battle.
- John F. Kennedy

It was the nation and the race dwelling all round the globe
that had the lion's heart.
I had the luck to be called upon to give the roar.
- Winston Churchill

Few are the giants of the soul that actually feel
that the human race is their family circle.
- Freya Stark

Gentleness, self-sacrifice and generosity
are the exclusive possession of no one race or religion.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Keep moving. Don't stop. But don't rush.
Don't race around.
Sure and steady gets you there every time.
- Neale Donald Walsch

We may have different religions, different
languages, different colored skin,
but we all belong to one human race.
- Kofi Annan

No one ever found wisdom without also being a fool.
Writers, alas, have to be fools in public,
while the rest of the human race can cover its tracks.
- Erica Jong

All in the dark we grope along,
And if we go amiss
We learn at least which path is wrong,
And there is gain in this.
We do not always win the race
By only running right;
We have to tread the mountain's base
Before we reach its height.
- Ella Wheeler Wilcox

Perspective:
Do you always look at life from the same point-of-view?
Consider viewing a situation as another might view it.
Look from behind, underneath, from the distant heavens.
View the situation as someone of a different religion,
race, or nationality might view it.
Pretend you are an alien from a distant galaxy -
that should be good for a laugh.
Troubles only appear troubling to those close to them.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Training - training is everything; training is all there is to a person.
We speak of nature; it is folly; there is no such thing as nature;
what we call by that misleading name is merely heredity and training.
We have no thoughts of our own, no opinions of our own;
they are transmitted to us, trained into us.
All that is original in us, and therefore fairly creditable
or discreditable to us, can be covered up and hidden
by the point of a cambric needle, all the rest being atoms
contributed by, and inherited from, a procession of ancestors
that stretches back a billion years to the Adam-clam
or grasshopper or monkey from whom our race has been
so tediously and ostentatiously and unprofitably developed.
And as for me, all that I think about in this plodding sad pilgrimage,
this pathetic drift between the eternities,
is to look out and humbly live a pure and high and blameless life,
and save that one microscopic atom in me that is truly me:
the rest may land in Sheol and welcome for all I care.
- Mark Twain in A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court

Time is a monster that cannot be reasoned with.
It responds like a snail to our impatience,
then it races like a gazelle when you can't catch a breath.
- the movie Simon Birch

Farewell My Friend
It was beautiful as long as it lasted
The journey of my life.
I have no regrets whatsoever
save the pain I'll leave behind.
Those dear hearts who love and care...
And the strings pulling at the heart and soul...
The strong arms that held me up
When my own strength let me down.
At every turning of my life
I came across good friends,
Friends who stood by me,
Even when the time raced me by.
Farewell, farewell my friends
I smile and bid you goodbye.
No, shed no tears for I need them not
All I need is your smile.
If you feel sad do think of me
for that's what I'll like
when you live in the hearts
of those you love, remember then
you never die.
- Gitanjali Ghei

Don't be dismayed by good-byes.
A farewell is necessary before you can meet again.
- Richard Bach

Faithless is he that says farewell when the road darkens.
- J. R. R. Tolkien

We must guard against the acquisition of unwarranted influence,
whether sought or unsought, by the military-industrial complex.
The potential for the disastrous rise
of misplaced power exists and will persist.
We must never let the weight of this combination
endanger our liberties or democratic processes.
We should take nothing for granted.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower in his Farewell Address of January, 17 1961

Life is magnificent - just as it comes.
Life has no need for fancy clothes, or lipstick.
Life is no pig.
Our life is the greatest gift of all creation.
When we are unhappy with life -
when we are shocked by the stock market,
or dismayed by our choice of political candidates,
let us not lash out in anger.
But also, let us not try to pretty up life
with some lipstick and some party clothes.
See life clearly - no rose colored glasses -
and then CHOOSE to love life.
CHOOSE to be happy, be joyful, be grateful,
be forgiving of everyone and of every act
we believe has hurt us.
Life just "IS."
We get to CHOOSE our relationship with life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life is like jumping out of an airplane without a parachute -
only the last couple seconds are fatal,
but most people are scared to death the whole way down.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life is like a ten speed bicycle.
Most of us have gears we never use.
- Charles M. Schulz

Life ... full of loneliness, and misery,
and suffering, and unhappiness,
and it's all over much too quickly.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall

I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner

Life's like Vegas. You're up, you're down,
but in the end the house always wins.
Doesn't mean you didn't have fun.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble.
It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.
- Mark Twain (attributed)

The only fool bigger than the person who knows it all
is the person who argues with him.
- Stanislaw Jerszy Lec

Morality is simply the attitude we adopt
towards people whom we personally dislike.
- Oscar Wilde

The trick is growing up without growing old.
- Casey Stengel

Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans.
- John Lennon

Life only
appears to be
rushing toward us
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

In the book of life, the answers aren't in the back.
- Charles M. Schulz in his Peanuts cartoon

Life is defined more by its contrasts than its samenesses;
Life is defined more by its risks than the many securities.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Life is always lived in the eye-of-the-storm
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life is serious, get out your magic wand.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.
- Ogden Nash

We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.
- Oscar Wilde

If life is a trial, who is the judge and jury?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Old age is fifteen years older than I am.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.

Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits.
- Mark Twain

You can't make an omelet without breaking eggs.
- Anonymous

To the young child, all life is a great adventure -
when did we grow so dull and brittle.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

No matter how much cats fight,
there always seem to be plenty of kittens.
- Abraham Lincoln

Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born
at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen.
- Mark Twain

The most difficult phase of life
is not when no one understands you,
it is when you don't understand yourself.
- Anonymous

The difference between school and life?
In school, you're taught a lesson and then given a test.
In life, you're given a test that teaches you a lesson.
- Tom Bodett

Live life on the edge, not with an edge.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life is a journey - enjoy the journey.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

One does not leave a convivial party before closing time.
- Winston Churchill

When dealing with people, remember you are
not dealing with creatures of logic,
but creatures of emotion.
- Dale Carnegie

Life is not supposed to be fair.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Knowing your own darkness is the best method
for dealing with the darknesses of other people.
- Carl Jung

Play with life, laugh with life,
dance lightly with life,
and smile at the riddles of life,
knowing that life's only true lessons
are writ small in the margin.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I love and treasure individuals as I meet them;
I loathe and despise the groups
they identify with and belong to.
- George Carlin

They have come up with a perfect understanding.
He won't try to run her life,
and he won't try to run his, either.
- Anonymous

Two things a man should never be angry at:
what he can help,
and what he cannot help.
- Thomas Fuller

Most men lead lives of quiet desperation
and go to the grave with the song still in them.
- Henry David Thoreau

If life is a bowl of cherries, then what am I doing in the pits?
- Erma Bombeck

Nobody can be uncheered with a balloon.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

You are Never Too Old to Give or Get Gold Stars.
Show Your Honest Appreciation - Today.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

A common denominator of all religions is that
they have the power to bring out the best and the worst in people.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

We have a great life here in Alaska,
and we're never going back to America again!
- The Simpsons Movie (2007)


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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