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Let these funny Enterprise Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
We should distrust any enterprise that requires new clothes.
- Henry David Thoreau
Distrust any enterprise that requires new clothes.
- Henry David Thoreau
Some people regard private enterprise
as a predatory tiger to be shot.
Others look on it as a cow they can milk.
Not enough people see it
as a healthy horse, pulling a sturdy wagon.
- Winston Churchill
Beware of all enterprises that require a new set of clothes.
- Henry David Thoreau
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Small opportunities are often
the beginning of great enterprises.
- Demosthenes
I say beware of all enterprises that require new clothes,
and not rather a new wearer of clothes.
- Henry David Thoreau
Why should we be in such desperate haste to succeed,
and in such desperate enterprises?
If a man does not keep pace with his companions,
perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer.
- Henry David Thoreau
If a man walks in the woods for love of them half of each day,
he is in danger of being regarded as a loafer.
But if he spends his days as a speculator,
shearing off those woods and making the earth bald before her time,
he is deemed an industrious and enterprising citizen.
- Henry David Thoreau
A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
- W. C. Fields
Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits
and then complain that he's not the man she married?
- Barbra Streisand
A man wrapped up in himself makes a very small bundle.
- Benjamin Franklin
Getting divorced just because you don't love a man
is almost as silly as getting married just because you do.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
I care not much for a man's religion
whose dog and cat are not the better for it.
- Abraham Lincoln
A man's friendships are, like his will,
invalidated by marriage -
but they are also no less invalidated
by the marriage of his friends.
- Samuel Butler
A man is incomplete until he is married.
After that, he is finished.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous
I am a man of fixed and unbending principles,
the first of which is to be flexible at all times.
- Everett Dirksen
Marriages don't last. When I meet a guy,
the first question I ask myself is:
is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?
- Rita Rudner
A man likes his wife to be
just clever enough to appreciate his cleverness,
and just stupid enough to admire it.
- Israel Zangwill
Give a man one rabbit, and he will eat for a day;
give a man two rabbits, and he will
feed his family and his neighbors
and return you 64,768 rabbits in change.
- Anonymous
It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks.
She's not marrying the best man.
- Anonymous
Don't marry a man to reform him -
that's what reform schools are for.
- Mae West
Whenever I date a guy, I think,
"Is this the man I want my children
to spend their weekends with?"
- Rita Rudner
One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.
- Ogden Nash
One cannot have everything the way he would like it.
A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment,
anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.
- Mark Twain
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend.
Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
- Groucho Marx
You never really know a man until you have divorced him.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
Do not marry a man to reform him.
That is what reform schools are for.
- Mae West
You can lead a man to Congress,
but you can't make him think.
- Milton Berle
Afraid? Me? A man who's licked
his weight in wild caterpillars?
Afraid? You bet I'm afraid!
- Groucho Marx
One man's theology is another man's belly laugh.
- Robert A. Heinlein
There are two times when a man doesn't understand a woman -
before marriage and after marriage.
- Anonymous
Men always want to be a woman's first love -
women like to be a man's last romance.
- Oscar Wilde
Barf: I'm a mog: half man, half dog. I'm my own best friend!
- the movie Spaceballs (1987)
He's the kind of man a woman would have to marry to get rid of.
- Mae West
In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland
A man is a fool if he drinks before he reaches the age of 50,
and a fool if he doesn't afterward.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
I know that God made the whole world in 4004 BC.
I know because my preacher told me. He's a good man.
He's even saving up all the money we give him
to go to bible college someday.
- Anonymous Humor
I would never want to be a member of a group
whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood.
- George Carlin
The power of man has grown in every sphere, except over himself.
- Winston Churchill
Man tends to treat all of his opinions as principles.
- Herbert Sebastian Agar
I choose my friends for their good looks,
my acquaintances for their good characters,
and my enemies for their intellects.
A man cannot be too careful in the choice of his enemies.
- Oscar Wilde
A man is usually more careful of his money
than he is of his principles.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Man will occasionally stumble over the truth,
but most of the time he will pick himself up and continue on.
- Winston Churchill
Never stir up litigation.
A worse man can scarcely be found than one who does this.
- Abraham Lincoln
You can always tell when a man's well informed.
His views are pretty much like your own.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
Every man thinks God is on his side.
- Jean Anouilh
Too often the strong, silent man is silent only because
he does not know what to say, and is reputed strong
only because he has remained silent.
- Winston Churchill
Many a man owes his success to his first wife
and his second wife to his success.
- Jim Backus
I would rather trust a woman's instinct than a man's reason.
- Stanley Baldwin
Stay hopeless and confused. Keep polishing those skills.
- the movie When a Man Loves a Woman (1994)
A benevolent man should allow a few faults in himself,
to keep his friends in countenance.
- Benjamin Franklin
I like a man who grins when he fights.
- Winston Churchill
The civilized man has built a coach,
but has lost the use of his feet.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
If a man smiles all the time,
he's probably selling something that doesn't work.
- George Carlin
A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers,
looks around for a coffin.
- H. L. Mencken
Show me a sane man, and I will cure him for you.
- Carl Jung
A cynic is a man who knows the price of everything
and the value of nothing.
- Oscar Wilde
A little girl at the wedding afterwards asked her mother
why the bride changed her mind.
What do you mean? responded her mother.
Well, she went down the aisle with one man,
and came back with another.
- Anonymous
The man who says he is willing to meet you halfway
is usually a poor judge of distance.
- Laurence J. Peter
The man who does not read good books
has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
- Mark Twain
Man is a credulous animal, and must believe something;
in the absence of good grounds for belief,
he will be satisfied with bad ones.
- Bertrand Russell
Every man prefers belief to the exercise of judgment.
- Lucius Annaeus Seneca
Man's nature is not essentially evil.
Brute nature has been known to
yield to the influence of love.
You must never despair of human nature.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
The man who reads nothing at all
is better educated than the man who reads nothing but newspapers.
- Thomas Jefferson
I want to be the white man's brother, not his brother-in-law.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
It appears to be a law that you cannot have
a deep sympathy with both man and nature.
- Henry David Thoreau
Confused Memories of Childhood:
Hate to my father, cruel hate,
confused with love - a mix not great.
The man I love - the man I hate;
the man I want to emulate.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Two things a man should never be angry at:
what he can help,
and what he cannot help.
- Thomas Fuller
A conservative is a man who is
too cowardly to fight and too fat to run.
- Elbert Hubbard
Blessed is the man who, having nothing to say,
abstains from giving us wordy evidence of the fact.
- George Eliot
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.