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Let these funny Emasculates Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
Today is what life is all about.
When I desire for the future to arrive quickly,
I become unable to savor today.
I can't live in tomorrow, and when I focus
all my energies on the future, I shortchange today.
Likewise, fearing the future emasculates today,
leaving it dry and lifeless.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I want to thank my parents for everything I am today -
fat, miserable, and paranoid.
- Anonymous
Hang tough... big girl panties today.
- Anonymous humor
How do you want to be remembered?
Live life full out - Begin today.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
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What If Every Day Were Your Day -
Celebrate Whimsey Today.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Today is probably a good day for something;
but it's a better day for doing nothing.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Things have never been more like the way they are today in history.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
Today, I am Sending My Monkey Mind to the Zoo.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Today, I Tap Dance Across The Stage of Life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
You are Never Too Old to Give or Get Gold Stars.
Show Your Honest Appreciation - Today.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Yesterday is ashes.
Tomorrow is green wood.
Only today does the fire burn brightly.
- Eskimo Proverb
Yesterday is history,
tomorrow is a mystery.
Today is a gift.
That is why it is called Present.
- Anonymous
Affirmation:
Today I choose the higher road -
the path of charity, acceptance,
love, selflessness, kindness.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I Dream This Day of Wondrous Things,
of Peace and Hope and Pride.
I Dance My Dance with Life Today,
I'm Filled with Love Inside.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Happy Birthday!
Today is YOUR day to Dance Lightly With Life.
Have a wonderful day.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Today, I Dance Lightly With Life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Today is your day to dance lightly with life,
sing wild songs of adventure,
invite rainbows and butterflies out to play,
soar your spirit, and unfurl your joy.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Today is your day to paint life in bold colors;
set today's rhythm with your heart-drum;
walk today's march with courage;
create today as your celebration of life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Today is the first day of the rest of your life.
- Anonymous
I Create Today As a Celebration of My Life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Today, I choose the higher road -
the path of charity, acceptance, love, selflessness, kindness.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Today is the bridge between acceptance and faith.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Today is your day to laugh at life,
laugh at what's funny - laugh at what's sad,
laugh loud - laugh often,
laugh at me - laugh at you - laugh at life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Is today a day to gather strength from the storm -
a day to to learn life lessons for the next battle?
Or is today a day to sit by the fire
and watch the storm rage outside?
Either way, the storm is just life.
Give thanks for all of Life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Find a time and place of solitude.
Look into the distance, and into the future.
Visualize the tomorrow you are going to build -
and begin to build that tomorrow, today.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Dance Lightly With Life:
Today is your day to
dance lightly with life,
sing wild songs of adventure,
soar your spirit,
unfurl your joy.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Those distractions that turn my attention from
what I thought I was going to do today are not "rat holes";
they are Enchanted Rabbit Holes
with a Magical White Bunny awaiting in each.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The Paradox Of Living In The Moment is -
How To Be Happy Today AND Prepare For Tomorrow
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Give somebody a gold star - Today.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Today is a day to cover your best weapons in velvet.
Go gently into the world.
Hold your anger.
Keep your competitive spirit in check.
Some day you will need your fierce weapons,
but not today.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Today is your day to Spread Wing and Soar.
Fly Life on Free Wings, and Sing to its Glory.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
You're off to Great Places!
Today is your day!
Your mountain is waiting,
So... get on your way!
- Dr. Seuss
Whatever you want in life, start today.
Not tomorrow - today.
Let it be a small beginning - a tiny beginning.
Your happiness depends on starting today - every day.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I was thinking that I might fly today.
Just to disprove all the things you say...
please be careful with me, I'm sensitive,
and I'd like to stay that way.
- Jewel
Make Today count. Today - each Today -
is the most important day of your life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The importance of history is in it's
educational value for our lives today,
not in regret, resentment, or revenge.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Today is a day to honor other cultures.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Dream as if you'll live forever.
Live as if you'll die today.
- James Dean
I Walk Today's March With Courage.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
If you want to do it,
Do It - TODAY.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Choose wisely - then act decisively. Do it today!
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Memory is deceptive because it is colored by today's events.
- Albert Einstein
Don't Wait!
Start on your dreams, your impulses,
your longings, your special occasions today.
Because this is your moment.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Yesterday is dead. Tomorrow is a dream.
Today - each today - is where the action is
where all of life occurs.
Today IS your life - your only life.
Life today to the fullest.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Every day is a day to take action.
Whatever your choices, take action on those choices.
Taking no action is equally a choice,
just not a choice made from awareness.
Make conscious choices,
and take action on those choices - Today.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The man who goes alone can start today;
but he who travels with another
must wait till that other is ready.
- Henry David Thoreau
I set today's life-rhythm with my heart-drum.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
You cannot escape the responsibility
of tomorrow by evading it today.
- Abraham Lincoln
Essentially all suffering is the result of...
1. Comparing what we have (or don't have) today
... with what we had yesterday.
2. Comparing what we fear we might have (or not have) tomorrow)
... with what we have today.
3. Comparing what we have (or don't have) with what others have.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Today I invite life to dance.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Today is my day to dance lightly with life,
sing wild songs of adventure,
invite rainbows & butterflies out to play,
soar my spirit, and unfurl my joy.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Today is my day to laugh loud - laugh often
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Let Today be a Thanksgiving.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
May today be your day to dance lightly with life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Choose! If it's worth doing, do it today.
If it's not worth doing today, save yourself a lot
of worry and regret by choosing to permanently
erase it from your to-do list.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Today is my day to see in myself the face of god.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I say that Today is a Perfect Day.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Begin your life today, and again tomorrow.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Today is my day to honor my being,
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Today is the first and last day of forever.
- Edward, from Twilight saga by Stephenie Meyer
Today, I will do my best...
and then relax in the knowing
that I have done all I could.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Today is my day to see myself as the face of god:
my mind sparks, and my soul sparkles;
my peace is counterpoint to the clamor of life;
I am a magnificent gift to the world.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Today, I have gratitude for ALL of life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Life is about more than today, and more than yourself.
What will your legacy be?
What will your great-grandchildren be told about you?
Creating a legacy does not have to be a burden,
it can be your joy and can create
your satisfaction with living each day.
What kind of world do you want to leave your great-grandchildren?
What can you do today to help create that world?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The best preparation for tomorrow is doing your best today.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
Today, I Respect And Enforce The Boundaries I Have Set.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
There is NOTHING that I "must",
"have to", or "should" do today.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Today is the right day to do
what you have long wanted to do.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The ultimate test of a man's conscience
may be his willingness to sacrifice something today
for future generations whose words of thanks will not be heard.
- Gaylord Nelson
The biggest disease today is not leprosy or tuberculosis,
but rather the feeling of being unwanted.
- Mother Teresa
Our grandchildren's grandchildren will shake their heads in shame
at some of the beliefs that we hold most dear today -
the question is, which ones?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.